Denial
by Amyress
Summary: Ava tells the storyy of how she and her lover came to be. who would have thought such a rude,broody man could catch her eye. certainly not her... at first.
1. Chapter 1

A/N time for some Fenris love! I know the dialogue is not them same as in the game but I couldn't find the freaking convo so I tried my best. Hope you guys enjoy it

Denial chapter 1

They traveled the roads silently, the only sound being the soft scoff of her child's footsteps next to her as they scrapped across the dirt.

"Mama, I'm tired." The voice of her daughter broke into the night filled with exhaustion.

Ava looked around quickly, sending black tendrils of hair everywhere as they became loose from her ponytail. "Okay, sweetling. Come one." They moved off the road and into the wilds beside them. They went deeper and deeper until they were surrounded by nothing but green and stars.

Letting her bags drop to the floor, she began to set up camp while her daughter watched bleary eyed. When the tent and all was set up, Ava moved carefully to the fire pit. With her hands outstretched she began whispering words of magic and tiny flames began to spark from her fingers. Slowly the flames dropped lighting the tinder ablaze.

Satisfied with her work Ava smiled to herself and took her place by her daughter. The girl immediately snuggled up to her placing her small head on her chest. "Mama?" She was tired. All the days travel had taken its toll on her tiny 3 year old body. Ava had never meant for things to be like this. She never wanted to go through this herself but it seemed inevitable after all the events that had transpired in Kirkwall those many years ago.

Looking down at her daughter smiling sadly. "What is it, sweetheart?" Her beautiful green eyes looked dazed and heavy. "Tell me a story." She whispered in a sleepy tone.

Softly, she picked up her daughter and cradled her close to her body, wrapping her arms tightly around her as she had done so many nights before. "Okay my darling Necarrii. What story do you wish to hear?"

Necarrii yawned heavily in her arms and moved slightly to gain a more comfortable position so she can see her mother's face. "I want to hear about you and Papa."

"Again?" she laughed. She may act as though the story gets tiring but in truth it was her favorite one to tell. "okay." Leaning her head back she gazed at the stars remembering a story she could never forget. "Where shall I begin?"

"I don't want to hear about the monsters." She stated snuggling closer to her mother's bosom.

"Right. No monsters." She hugged her daughter closer and taking a deep breathe she began her story.

Ava exited the mansion followed closely by Carver and Varric both of which kept going on about how the handsome elf had been ungrateful and rude. She truly didn't care as long as he was safe. After hearing his story she feared what would have happened had she left him to face the slavers alone. She had failed so many others before, she was glad she could help him in any way that she could.

Exiting the door, all three of them turned the corner only to find Fenris leaning casually against the wall.

"It seems I can never escape the poison that entered my life." Ava stopped in her tracks. Looking at the man before her she took in his image fully. Bright green eyes, pure white hair. He truly was handsome. Even his strange tattoos enhanced his appeal. He looked as if any other elf would. So why was he talking to her in such an excusing way?

Her look of confusion spread across her must have been a serious give away because Fenris continued on his train of thought. "I saw you using magic in there." He moved off the wall and faced all three of them full on, a threatening glimmer in his eyes. "So tell me what is it you seek? Power? Fortune?" his voice raised in anger and Ava could practically feel Carver behind her wanting to say something. At least that the one thing she could count on Carver for, he would always have her back no matter their differences.

"I seek nothing but safety for myself and those around me. " she spoke with a kind of tone that she didn't even recognize. Fenris looked at her, emotions playing on his face.

"I imagine I appear ungrateful. If so I must apologize." He bowed his head toward her. "I am afraid I cannot pay you as you should be but perhaps I can lend you my services…"

"I'm planning an expedition. Your help would become useful- if you wish to accompany a mage."

He looked taken aback for a moment but quickly recovered. "Fine, then. I shall be here until then. If Danarius wants to reclaim his mansion, I welcome him to try."  
They all watched as Fenris made his way back into the mansion. He had been completely rude to her and acted as if she was a demon waiting to attack and yet she was intrigued.

"Does he always brood?" she heard Varric ask Carver as soon as the door closed.

Ava shook her head and turned to them. "Honestly! You guys are unbelievable!" She turned back around and stormed off towards the mansion.

"Where are you going, sister?" carver screamed after her.

She ignored him and entered the desolate estate wondering what exactly she had planned.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N okay so when I first met Fenris in the game I thought he was being a complete ass in many ways especially when I was playing as a mage sooo the first convo surprised me a bit. This is more how I thought it should've went hope you guys like it

Denial chapter 2

Ava made her way through the manor a lot easier than before. All the doors had been open so finding her way to the study had been quite easy, although she didn't know what to expect to find when she got there. It seemed as though her and Fenris had not gotten off to the best of starts even if he was grateful to for the help she provided against the slavers. But even so she wanted to at least try and make the effort to befriend him. Even if she couldn't do that she would at least try to prove she wasn't as corrupted as most mages seemed to be now a days.

She carefully made her way up stairs and found the study alit with fire. "Fenris?" she rounded the corner of the door way to find the elf standing by the window with a bottle of wine clutched in his hand.

"Aggrevio Pavali." He didn't even turn to look at her. He just stood in spot staring at the bottle in his hand. "there are 6 bottles in the cellar. Danarius used to have me pour it for his guest. My appearance intimidated him much to his liking." He shrugged his shoulder and took a long swig of the drink. Satisfied with the taste, he glanced at the bottle again before chucking it at the wall right next to Ava. She jumped in response. It had been dangerously close to hitting her. She could feel the drops spray her hands as the bottle made contact. Slowly she moved more into the room. "I can't imagine why."

She saw his lips twitch. The presence of a smile perhaps?

But the progress she felt she had made quickly went away with his next words. "What are you doing here?" he spoke with disdain.

She felt her eyes narrow n annoyance. "Wonderful way to treat someone who just offered you help."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Grateful as I am, I will not trust a mage." He spoke the last word like poison, as if just saying it condemned him ."I wanted to leave my past behind me. But it seems it won't stay there." He went back to staring out the window. The moment of silence went on longer than she would have liked but what was she to say. She was in a room with a very attractive man who hated her for what she was born with. The Maker had a very beautiful sense of humor.

"Have you ever wanted to return to Fereldan?" where did that come from? The question caught her off guard and she had to think a moment. "Perhaps one day but no I haven't really." She leaned against the wall casually carful to keep her distance from the unknown before her. "And what about you? Do you not wish to stay here?"

Fenris shrugged and moved from his place at the window to sit on a chair not far from her. "I could see myself staying-for the right reasons." Was he flirting?

She watched him as he watched the fire. The flames licked him against the chimney. "I suppose I should thank you for your help against the hunters."

"Yes I suppose you should." She hadn't meant for it to sound so forceful but she felt confused. One minute he was talking to her with hate and disgust and the next he acted as if she was any other woman.

He shook his head. "You have a loose tongue for a mage."

She gasped. "Are like this with all mages or just the ones that risk their lives for you?" she was really getting pissed now. Here she was trying to friendly and polite and he had to go and ruin it all.

"Mages are always an unpredictable. You can't blame me for being as I am." He spoke in a low tone almost growling his words.

Leaning off the wall she stared at him in disbelief. He was right she couldn't blame him. "I may not be able to blame you but I can change your mind." She turned to leave the room.

"we shall see, mage." He muttered as she left out the door and headed down the stairs. He was completely unbelievable. Almost as bad as Carver and Varric. But she couldn't leave him think as he did. He challenged her to sway his thoughts. _Very well then, _she thought as she exited the manor letting the door slam as she left. _Challenge accepted._


	3. Chapter 3

Denial chapter 3

The Gallows was never a mages favorite place. In the year or so that they've been here, Ava has made it her mission to avoid the place as much as possible. She hasn't set foot here since they arrived in Kirkwall. And oh how she wished she wasn't here right now. Templars littered the place, watching their party with each step they took up the stairs from the docks. The very look they gave her told her she was under their suspicion. Even with leaving her stave at home she couldn't avoid their scrutiny.

Sigh but what was she to do. She hadn't been able to save the girl. A terrible fate to have the magic inside of you take control. The least she could do was deliver the message she had written for her father… who happened to be a Templar. The very Templar that had been tracking fenyriel. Perhaps that is why he had been so lenient is his searching. He was trying to do for him what he failed to do with his daughter. She suddenly felt a tiny bit guilty for sending Fenyriel back here.

Their party made it up the stairs as the gallows courtyard fell into view. Not many mages were about, only those who ran the tiny shops that resided on the outside. She glanced to sides of her and saw Carver looked on edge, watching the Templars as they moved about, glancing in our direction. Varric look dazed, probably think of more fodder for his stories. Fenris, on the other hand looked…dazed or some type of emotion along those lines. She watched as he glanced around curiously. She turned ahead. _hmmm perhaps this will help understand how some mages are. _

Even though she almost fully agreed with some of the chantry's rules, she still felt that they could be improved. The Fereldan circle had been too lenient, the Kirkwall circle is too hard. That is why she stayed in hiding. Even in Lothering she and Bethany had been very discreet when training with their father. True everyone had known them to be mages but they did not wish the attention that came with openly practicing.

Slowly she began to walk forward searching for any signs of Thrask, but something held her back.

She looked back to see Fenris's hand gripping her wrist tightly and keeping her in spot. "Is it really a smart idea for a mage to travel so openly?" his whisper was fierce as if he actually cared what might happen to her. HAH! There was a funny thought!

Pulling her wrist away sharply she glared at him ignoring the quickening in her heart. "Well I'll just have to be very careful now won't I?" she turned again finally spotting Thrask on the far side of the gallows in front of them. She moved to continue to him when Fenris spoke again. "I've never been to a circle the outside of The imperium. It seems … different here but not by much."

"what do you mean?" Carver's voice surprised her as he joined the conversation, but she said quiet waiting for the elf to go on

"In the imperium, power is the key. " as he spoke hatred laced his every word. "Every magister strives for more and the will uses any method to achieve their goals. " he looked up at one of the slave statues. "Here…you can sense the fear."

And she immediately knew he was right. After the incident with the circle of fereldan, Templars everywhere have been more alert and vigilant. They took no more chances and now it seemed that every mage that did not heed their word and follow their rules was condemned to being a tranquil or death. All mages were subject to temptation in their eyes.

"I've heard stories of the imperium. Are all the magister's truly as evil as you make them to be?"

Fenris looked backed at her and merely shrugged his shoulders. " I have no doubt that there are some noble in their deeds, strong enough to resist temptation." His words rang true in her mind and she felt herself smile at the small bit of progression that she felt she made.

Smiling still she said "Not all mages are as such."

He nodded slightly and before she knew it he was closing the distance between. An inch from her ear, she took a sharp breathe feeling his breathe warm against her ear. His voice was full of accusation as if she herself had done the unthinkable. "True, yes, but how long can the good resist the temptation?"

He turned around and continued to the Templar , leaving Ava practically furious with the elf's blatant disregard attempts.

"Watch it junior, I think Hawke's about to lose it."

She turned sharply to Varric causing him to jump slightly. "Let's go."

She turned around and stalked off after the Broody elf. He was going to make this a lot harder then she hoped for.

But little did she know he was smiling ahead of her.


	4. Chapter 4

Denial chapter 4

"There's a letter for you on the desk." She entered the grimy low town house she claimed as home, at least for now anyway. Soon after her and Caver had cleared the Amell estate did their mother begin to petition the Viscount for the lost property. How Gamlen could just gamble it away as if it was nothing more than a wallop mallet she will never understand.

Slipping past him she plucked the letter from the table and headed to the back room where Carver sat polishing his blade. Taking a seat across him she opened the letter and began to read.

"That elf is a right piece of work." Carver spoke without stopping his polish. Ava couldn't help but look at her brother with a small smile. "We agree at last." It was true her Brother and herself did not see eye to eye most times but they did knowhow to tolerate each other.

"Then why bother, sister?"

She brought down the letter in a frustrated sigh. With all the hiding she seemed to do, she could never escape notice whether it be from her family or the bloody Templars themselves. "Look Carver, my doings are my own. When I choose to include you , I'll let you know." She rose from the bed and grabbed her stave in the corner.

"Where are you going? Carver asked ignoring his sister's miniature outbreak. He replaced the cloth back in the drawer.

She fastened her belt. "To go collect Anders and Fenris. Then I'm off to the wounded coast."

Realigning her robes she heard him sheath his sword, the metal making the softest sound against it's leather case. He smiled up at her. "Off we go then."

###########

"Kill him and we can escape." Ava starred at Grace as she processed what the other mage had asked of her. Surely she couldn't be suggesting she kill Thrask?

"Sister, you can't really be thinking of what she asks?" Carver's voice rang out and snapped her back. He was right. What would doing this accomplish except give her more scrutiny under the Templar's eyes? And even if Grace and the others could escape after killing Thrask they would never make it out of the Free Marches not without being captured. No she couldn't go through with it.

"No." her voice rang out as forceful and foreign to her ears. _In the end they will be safe. We all will. _

"Surely you can't condemn-" she held up her hand before Anders could continue his thought. "They accompanied a blood mage. Regardless of what they should be punished."

"Punished? WE'LL BE KILLED!" grace's voice rang out in frustration.

"Not if you go quietly. I will make sure of it." It was the least she could do. "I am sorry but you must return to the circle."

"Fine." Grace slumped in defeat. "I do not wish any more of us dead. We will go peacefully.

She turned back the way she came and rejoined her companions explaining what the agreement was.

"We shall go make sure the way out is clear." Ava nodded toward the exit and her companions followed.

As they made their way, Ava couldn't help but think of what Fenris had said in the gallows. All mages truly are susceptible to temptation. The thought made a shiver run through her spine. She knew all mages were not like that but just the thought brought a small fear to her heart. Is this how Templar's see them?

She slowed her pace as her thoughts began to wonder from one thought to another. The mouth of a corridor slowed in its approach. Was she really doing the right thing? She was a free mage herself, who was she to stop the will of others.

She felt Carver's hand on her shoulder and turned to him. He nodded and she felt herself smile. It was moments like this where she truly appreciated –

Carver's arm fell from her shoulder and Ava tumbled forward on to the floor. Even though she hand prepared to catch herself on her hands, the sheer force of the push caused her to skid and scrap her palms. "Well, shit." She could her the feet of the other mages running behind it, coming to see what commotion had stopped Ava's party from leaving the chamber. She flipped over briefly looking at her bloody palms before acknowledging the shadow above her. Looking up, she came face to face with Anders and it took all that she had not to hit him. Instead she felt flames lick at her finger tips as she growled in frustration. "What the hell is your problem?" she stayed down scared that with all the energy building inside her she would hurt someone if she moved.

"I can't believe you're sending them straight into the Templar's hands!" he tried to stand over her, to block her from rising but carver pulled him back restraining his hands until she stood fully up right.

"I have no choice! You want me to condemn them to the wilds where their guaranteed all but a day alive?" she was fully aware at the mage standing behind her but she lost all care. Anders had over stepped his lines when it came to 'the plight of the mage'.

"You have every choice!" his voice rose, echoing off the cave walls. Looking closely you could see the slightest tinge of blue in his eyes. "Who are you to decided there fate!"

She closed her eyes and tried to focus. The flames in her hand became more real and she knew the others could see them now as well. This is what Fenris warned her about. The power. This power that all the mages in Tevinter strove to achieve. It would be so easy to just eliminate everyone here and now. All it took was one fireball and Anders and the other mages would be nothing but a scorch in the sand.

_No. _ she couldn't. if she did she would become everything her father had trained her not to be. No better than Decimus or any of the other blood mages she had to kill here. She couldn't do it.

Slowly she felt the power drain from her. The flames retreated back to where ever their source had been and before she knew it she was on the floor once again staring at her bloody palms.

"Are you crazy?" Anders shouted at her, starting up the argument that had just ended. But thankfully nothing could harm their other companions this time from intervening. Before she knew it Carver had wrestled him out the chamber and stood by the small door blocking further entrance. She glanced behind her and saw that all the mages had retook their places against the far side of the room to avoid any harm. The looks on their faces made her feel terrible. Fear, pure fear.

Her head sunk down, her palms faced up. It would be so easy to do a simple healing spell but she didn't wish to chance the magic. She didn't need to lose control again.

Footsteps echoed and she saw a shadow approach her. She didn't look to see who it was. To be honest she didn't really care. That is not until she hear the ripping of fabric. She looked up to find Fenris holding to equal lengths of what could have only been the shirt they had found early that day. Carefully he took her hands and wrapped each one tightly to stop the bleeding. "This should suffice until you can see a healer when we get back."

She merely nodded. Surely after her display he wouldn't approach her like this. It had been the very thing he had warned her about. Hunger. Temptation. Power. And yet here he was helping her bandage her wounds.

"Thank you." It was barely a whisper but she managed the words none the less. Grabbing his extended hand, she let him raise her back to her feet cradling her elbow until she regained her balance.

"We should move on. I doubt the mage will be eager to see you but we need to leave these caves."

She nodded again. "Right. You go on ahead. I'll walk with Carver."

The elf Nodded and squeezed past her brother. She followed silently her brother following her example. The trip back through the cave was quite aside from a few encounters they had with some blood mage's skeletons.

There was no side conversations as per-usual to lighten the mood because no one would forget this. A new fear had resonated within all of them. Even so the only thing running through Ava's mind was what her brother said and it was something she, now, could never agree with more.

That elf is a piece of work.

A/N ok so idk what happened with this chapter i just remember wishing this or something along that lines happened in the game. its so easy to piss anders off i was surprised when i couldnt have an actual confrontation with him surprised and kinda disappointed lol any way R&R 3 :)


	5. Chapter 5

Denial chapter 5

_Footsteps approached. Soft and quiet against the green ground that surrounded them. She could hear the shallow breathing that escaped the persons mouth. A chase. They had found them. Come to take them back. To punish them. But she couldn't let them. She had to get out. _

Ava woke with a start ,taking in her surroundings. Yes they were still in the woods nothing but green to any of their sides. Necarrii slept quietly beside her in a peaceful state.

It was just a dream.

Slowly she got up and moved around their campsite, collecting their belongings so that they could move faster when her daughter did rise. But even with the things to distract her, her mind still stood on the dream. The dream that haunted her every night since they left Kirkwall. She remembered the night all too well. Her daughter's fearful eyes when she had come home soaked in blood from head to toe. Fenris's voice yelling at her to run as the Templars began to come upon them in the keep. The night had haunted her every waking moment for the last year. A year that she's been running. A year that she's heard from no one. A year in waiting.

But she couldn't stop anywhere. No for the sake of her daughter she must keep running.

She sat by the fire and began cooking. At least to have something to eat on the road. They weren't too far now. Perhaps another days travel and they would be right at the village's road. And then from there she could send out a message, perhaps to Sebastian or Aveline, let them know she and Necarrii are safe, and then to inquire about the rest of them. How things fair in Kirkwall and StarkHaven. There were so many things she wished to ask. So many people she wanted to hear from. But only one question burned in her heart that she must find out.

"Mama?" she turned from the fire to see Necarrii rising from her sleep and rubbing her eyes.

Ava moved from the fire and went to straighten her daughter. "Good morning, Sweetling. " she brushed back her hair and fixed her robes. " Are you hunger?" Necarrii nodded. "Ok good. I made some meat. We can eat it while we walk." Necarrii smiled and nodded. Together they made their way around the camp collecting there things and extinguishing the fire. They both used their magic to conceal the remains of the camp. A simple illusion spell that had once been thought by Ava's father when Ava was no more than her daughter's age. After all was settled and done, they moved along through the forest until the once again reached the path that would lead them to their destination.

"Mama? Can you tell me more of the story?"

"of course, sweetling." Ava's mind slowed. All the thought she had before of the dream melted away as she tried to recall the years before it happened. "Where shall I begin this time?"

"You were saying about how papa helped you." Her sweet small voice perked up causing Ava to smile. She nodded and continued on.

########################

"Your uncle took me home quickly that night, after seeing the healer. He did not speak to me or look at me. All he did was lay down and sleep until the next morning's light. Then , hell broke loose."

"Do you have any idea what kind of damage you could have caused?" Carver didn't shout, didn't even look angry. He looked scared. She had made her own brother scared of her.

"Carver, listen to me. I have no idea how what I did happened. I lost control. I'm sorry!"

He shook his head but she could see the damaged had been done. "Perhaps this is why mages should be locked away." He mumbled

Ava gasped "You can't surely be saying you rather have me locked away in the tower?" just the idea caused shivers. She had been free all her life. To imagine that freedom gone…. She couldn't.

Carver looked at her, a sad expression crossing his face. "No. you and Bethany… you two have always had control." He took the seat beside her. "I'm sorry, sister. I spoke my words without thinking."

"No it's fine. Your right. Some mages do deserve the protection and restraints of the circle walls."

They sat in silence each staring off into space swamped by their own thoughts.

Maker only knew what Carver could possibly be thinking. Ava on the other hand had only one thing on her mind. The scene in the cave, Anders standing over her, power emanating from every crevasse of her body. And then Fenris, soft gentle, banding her wounds. His eyes. She remembered they didn't look as they usually did, accusing and threatening. They seemed softer if only a little. And his voice , it hadn't been its usual hard tone. She couldn't quite place it but it seemed different.

When she saw the shadow coming at her, she hadn't even thought it to be him. Perhaps one of the other mages finally built up the courage and came to offer their assistance. Or even Carver to make sure she was ok and unharmed. She hadn't even remembered the broody elf standing behind her. His help was unexpected. Just thinking about it brought a strange feeling. She shook her head of all thoughts.

"I didn't think Fenris could do that." He brother's voice was calm and there was a hint of a smile in it.

"Do what?" she asked her eyes lifting up curiously and sure enough her brother was smiling.

He shook his head. "I don't know. Be friendly. Offer aid. Not brood. Take your pick." They both laughed. Ava felt the tension easy a bit. Moments like this she was happy Carver was around. With everything in going on it seemed her family grew more and more out of her reach. With both her father and Bethany gone, her mother preoccupied with her petition, and Maker only knows whatever it was Gamlen did, Carver was the only one left for her to confide in. Neither of them had really grown up liking each other but with time came understanding and now she felt they both had a new respect for one another.  
"Come on." She rose and grabbed her cloak. And headed to the door.

"Oh where are we going now?" Carver rolled his eyes as if to seem annoyed but there was a smile on his face.

Ava laughed. " You don't count our coin often do you? We're going to Bartrand. We've enough for the expedition."

###########################

"Wrap up any business you nave in the city my friend. We leave the day after tomorrow." Bartrand left the three of them standing in the plaza, grins wide. Varric clapped her on the back. "Welcome to expedition. Partner."

"Aww come now. We couldn't have done it without our trusty dwarf by our side."

"Oh Hawke you flatter me. Come on junior. Let me help you pack. "she hadn't stated that Carver was coming but who was she to argue. He had helped her get the coin. He deserved to come as much as she did.

" Yes you to go do that. I am going to go and collect the last member of our merry band." She turned to leave them.

"Three guess who that's going to be." Varric's sarcastic voice rang out through the plaza and Ava turned to see both her brother and the dwarf laughing slightly.

"and what do you mean by that, Varric?" Ava turned so that her whole body now faced them. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot, impatiently waiting for an answer.

"Nothing, Hawke." He waved her off and head back into low town. Shaking her head she made her way to Fenris's mansion.

##################################

She edge the door of the mansion open slowly, careful not to disturb the quiet that surrounded the desolate mansion. Walking softly she removed her cloak, setting on the side and made her way up to the room that Fenris occupied during the days.

She hadn't gotten the chance to speak to him on the way home the previous night so she had no idea how to even begin to ask if he wished to accompany her. It was true he had said before that he would so if she asked, but after yesterday's incident she feared for the worse. He had already been harsh with her on several occasions so what should she expect now?

Making her way upstairs she slowly edged around the corner and peered in to the room. Fenris stood by the window watching the people walking the streets of high town. She knocked softly.

He turned to the door way immediately taking an offensive stance, relaxing only a little when he realized it was just her. He stood there watching her his face emotionless.

Ava felt her face color.

"May I come in?" she asked somewhat timidly. Usually she would just take her place by the fire not waiting or asking. But today she felt that she should show him at least a little courtesy as repayment for his help.

He nodded and gestured to the chair. Smiling she took her seat.

"How are your hands?"

Automatically she glanced down at her palms, remembering the blood and scraps that had been there only hours before. His bandaging had been enough to stop the bleeding until they reached a healer. Usually Anders would just do it, but when she had exited the cavern with her brother, Fenris had told him the mage had left before he came out. They hadn't seen him yet. The lanterns at the clinic were off, the doors closed. She would have to check on him later to see he was alright.

"Their okay. Not a trace of yesterday on them." She paused. "Thank you again. For the bandages."

He gave a brief nod. And turned back out toward the window. Ava stared at the fire, leaving the awkward silence between them alone. Instead she just let her mind wander about the deep roads and what they might find. It was the only thing that seemed calm compared to her other thoughts.

"That was a dangerous thing you did." Her head snapped up in his direction. He had not turned to face her so she could not see the look on his face. A grimance no doubt. She had done the very thing he had warned her about. She gave into power. And she knew that even though she did not go through with it as so many other mages had, he would, no doubt, hold it against her in the future, if not now.

She sat silently waiting for him to continue.

"Tell me, what would you have done if you had not been able to stop? If you had truly lost control?"

She had no answer. She didn't want to think about it. It was bad enough she had thought about killing Anders and the mages but to think what would've if she had lost total control was unbearable.

"You have no answer." It wasn't a question. It was a statement and it was filled with bitterness and bile. "Just like all the others."

"ENOUGH!" she rose now, anger running through her veins. "I did not come here to be reprimanded for something I had no control over! It was a moment of weakness AND it will not happen again."

Fenris stared at her once again expressionless.

"I shall take my leave now." She bowed. "Thank you again."

She made her way to the door, feeling his eyes still on her. "Oh and we leave the day after tomorrow to the deep roads. You may come if you wish… that is if you wish to accompany a mage." And with that she left.


	6. Chapter 6

Denial chapter 6

"Bartrand! I swear you son of a bitch, sorry mother," Varric mumbled other unintelligible words and turned to their party.

"Bastard." Carver spoke behind her And Ava couldn't help but agree. The things people do for money. Not even family means anything. And it was a lot of money. An idol made of pure lyrium. But still to leave your brother trapped... she could never do that to Carver.

Varric shook his head. "Come on. There has to be a way out of here." They head to the back of the thaig and through a door. From there on everything seemed a maze. Corners among corners. Traps among traps. Dark Spawn swimming around every corner. It was a miracle when they were able to find a camp site they could use. They all sat around fixing their sleeping cloths. Carver had even found an old chest which when crushed and surrounded by rocks made for good tinder. Using her magic she let the fire flow from her fingers and ignite the wood below. After she took her place by Carver.

"We can't be more than a two days away from where the camp set up, assuming we are able to circle around. If not we'll have to find other means." Varric sat with a small paper that had acted as sort of a map to the others.

"Two days with nothing but dark spawn and giant spiders?" Ava smiled to herself and laid her head on her bag. "I can live with that."

Varric laughed. " And that's with out the three weeks it will take us to get back to Kirkwall." Varric mimicked her make-shift pillow. "You sure you got the first watch, broody?"

Fenris nodded from his rock ahead. Ava stared. He hasn't spoke much since they first came down into the roads three weeks ago, and now with matters so much worse he seemed as quiet as ever. _Good I don't have to deal with his accusing words. _She had no wish to hear any more of what mages are in his eyes. For all she knew he was as bad as the bloody Templars. Both always watching her and waiting. Trying to see if she would lose it. Any excuse to rid the world of one more mage. But she had to admit at least his eyes held less hatred then the Templars. There was a time they once did. She remembered that time very well. The months before when she had first helped him in Danarius's mansion. But they seemed different now. Yes they still held that hatred but something lied within them. Something she could not place. Nor did she care to. Her only thought she gave care to now was their escape. And she dreamt about it.

_**In her dream they had made their way into the outer caves, light shinning softly ahead. But something held her back. First her father's voice begging her to come back. Then her sister's screams, as she died clutched in the ogre's grasp. Then her brother's ragged breath's as stone t began to around them.. She ran. Trying to reach them all. Trying to help them. To save them. But it was useless. The tunnel stretched in front of her never ending. The sounds of her companions died out to the sides of her. She ran lost and trapped within the roads.**_

Ava woke with a start, gasping for air. Looking around she gathered her bearings and remembered where she was. The deep roads. Trapped because of that bastard Bartrand. She glanced to her sides. Varric and Carver slept soundlessly on either side of her. Fenris watched her from the rock, eyes curious.

"Are you hurt?" he asked in his monotone voice.

"No. Bad dream." She got up shakily and approached the rock. Fenris sat gazing out with no hint of fatigue on his fine features. Carefully she dropped to the floor beside him.

"Do they happen often?"

"No. But when they do….. It's as if there real."

They sat in silence. Both watching for threats, unable to sleep.

"I must apologize." He spoke and his words shocked her. " You showed more control then most on that day. It was wrong of me to say what I did. I am sorry."

She looked at him, taking in his words as they left his mouth. Suddenly she laughed.

A confused look filled his features. "I'm sorry." Ava smiled. " It's just, right when I think any friendship between us is hopeless, you come out and do something completely unexpected."

His lips twitched and rose in a soft crooked smile. "Well perhaps I should do the unexpected more often then."

They both laughed. It reminded her a lot of her conversations with Carver with just the mere fact they too had their ups and downs.

" Why don't you go and sleep? I can take watch." She stood up and grabbed her stave but when she returned the elf did not move. Instead he looked straight ahead eyes closed as if listening. Following his example she too strained her ears to catch whatever his ears had. Slowly she began to hear it. A soft um coming from the left of them. It didn't grow in sound but it stayed. Looking towards Fenris she pointed to where the sound was coming form. Understanding, he nodded. Moving back to the camp, Fenris moved over Varric and Ava went over to Carver waking them both up.

"HUH!" Carver work with a loud start, causing Ava to cover his mouth and bring a finger to her lips. He nodded and she removed her hand.

They all moved around quietly gathering their things. Once the camp was completely packed up they headed into the source of the sound. Edging around the corner they drew there weapons and moved more toward the sound. Slowly a room came into view. Stairs extended further into the dark depts. Leading to more caverns. The walls stretched high above them leaving her with a sense of something endless. Moving slowly she strained her ears to find the sound. It had stopped.

"What do you think it was?" Carvers sleepy voice echoed off the walls even as quiet as it was.

"I don't know." Clutching her stave she moved further into the darkness. As she moved down the stairs a familiar feeling overcame her. Coldness and fear crept through her body and then the shades. Appeared.

"Sister!" Carver was around her before the fire even left her fingers. Three shades surrounded her on all sides slashing at her robes and armor. Carver took up the one to her left while she saw Fenris tackle the one to her right. Behind her Varric sent a flurry of arrows landing around them lodging themselves into the shades flesh.

As the last shade fell, Ava slacked in stance but Varric's voice brought her back to full force. "it's not over yet!"

Looking down ahead of them she spotted three rock-like creatures staggering toward them. Taking her hand s back she focused her power and sent a massive fire ball toward them while at the same time Fenris and Carver slashed at their rough exterior. Spell after spell. Arrow after arrow, Ava and Varric sent as much aid to their fellows as possible. Finally the creatures fell and they joined their companions at the bottom of the stairs.

"What were those things?" she asked. They weren't demons. She would have felt them when they came.

"They looked like rock wraiths." Varric said from beside her. He continued on to explain how they were something of legend.

"Well obviously the legend holds some truth." Ava looked closely down the corridor. A chest stood right close to the other end. "Let us continue. Perhaps that means we are on the right track."

They moved down the corridor swiftly weapons always at the ready expecting the worse. finally making it to the chest, Varric bent down and began undoing the lock. The humming began again, followed by the familiar feeling of cold darkness. "Varric I understand how delicate an art this is, but do you think you could work your hands a little faster?"

"Patience Hawke. This takes time."

A puff a darkness, the scratching of rock. Their opponents had arrived.

"We're out of time!"

The magic flowed through her fingers as she sent an electric current at the closest shade rendering it useless before disappearing back into the ground below. To more shades advanced to her. She swung her stave in a frenzied effort to keep them at bay. Behind her she could hear the metal sounds of her brother's and Fenris's sword making contact with the rock wraiths behind them. They could not provide her with any assistance. Varric was still crouched by the chest. She was on her own. The shades advanced further coming from both sides. Her stave was the only thing keeping them from completely consuming her person. They were to close for her to cast a spell. The recoil would hurt not only her but her companions as well. She had to keep fighting hand to hand.

"Enough!" the shades fell back and the rock wraiths collapsed. Turning behind her she found she was faced with a monster much like the rock wraiths but bigger in size as well as power.

"It's a demon." She said branching her stave in a protective stance. The others followed her example.

"I will not see these creatures harmed without need."

Ava stepped up and confronted the creature. "And why should we not? They attacked us."

"They will not assult you further. Not without my permission."

"And again why should we not?"

"They hunger. The profane have lingered in this place for ages beyond memory, feeding off the magic from the rocks is all they know."

"So they feed off the lyrium?"

She looked at the creature waiting for him to state what she already knew. "I am not as they are. I am… a visitor."

"A demon. Feeding off their hunger."

The creature nodded. "I would not see my feast end. I sense your desire. You wish to leave this place, but you will need my aid to do so."

"And why on earth would you think that?"

"There is a door on the other side of this chamber. It leads to the path ways far above us. That is what you seek. But it has been sealed, and cannot be opened without a key. I know where the key is. Do as I ask and I shall tell you."

"What are our options?" Varric asked her. She would never make a deal with a demon but her companions were weak and fatigued. They could not go on fighting these profane much longer.

"We have your word?"

"Sister, you can't be truly agreeing to this?"

"Perhaps I was wrong. You seem to be no better than the magisters." Both Carver and Fenris's words hit her heart with a pang. Surely they could not think she would fall to temptation this easily. No they couldn't know. But she did have a plan. "Quiet the both of you. I know what I'm doing."

"That has yet to seem so." Fenris placed his sword back in its sheath.

"Most wise."

They all watched as the demon dissolved back in to the rocks back into the rock around them. Carefully they moved on. And as promised, they had no further confrontations.

"What is this place?"

"I'm not sure," Varric stated but Ava held up her hand to stop him

Another hum and the ground began to shake below them. Looking ahead Ava could see what she could only describe as a whirlwind of rocks coming together before them. As the creature took shape Ava could feel the magic that surrounded it. Taking up her stave once again, she fired a fire ball at the oncoming monster. "Look out!" they only had moments to doge before the creature shot at them with unbelievable force and even with her dodging she still lost her footing as she tumbled to the side.

Looking up she watched as the monster brought its weapon down upon Fenris's body. "FENRIS!" without even thinking she sent a massive amount of stone knocking the creature back several steps while Fenris regain his stance and charged full on. Metal clanked against its tone exterior as carver and Fenris fought the beats head on. Varric and Ava stood behind the lines sending massive amounts of arrows and spells at the creature's interior. The battle seemed to drag on and on until finally the creature gave way and the magic evaporated from within it.

"Are you all ok?" she asked replacing her stave on her back.

They all nodded moving toward her with hardened faces. She saw Fenris wince and grab his chest.

Rushing toward him before he could hit the ground fully, she caught him and eased him into a sitting position. Raising her hands she let the magic flow and tried to heal him.

"NO!" he stated pushing her hand away as he again winced from the force of his voice.

"Are you daft? It could be weeks before we reach a healer! Now either you let me heal you know or I do it when your passed out." She held her hand up again and he watched her tentatively. Giving he nodded his head and closed his eyes. Slowly she worked her hand over his broken rib cage, gently fixing any damage she could sense.

"There. That's better. Now if you don't trust my work you can see a healer back in Kirkwall but for now you should be fine." She reached out her hand and helped him up.

"Thank you." His said his voice a little less monotone than normal. She smiled. She nodded. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

They approached the door hesitantly, looking for any sign of the key.

"I don't understand," Varric was saying to her as they all walked up the stairs that led to the door on the other side. "Rock wraiths are supposed to be something of legend."

"Well Varric, that looked pretty real to me."

"I suppose it doesn't matter. Look what it was guarding." There before them stood a very impressive pile of treasure.

"That is not yours." They turned around as the demons voice came and echoed off the walls. "the key you require is in the chest, leave all else for it is mine."

"umm Hawke? Not butt point out the obvious but can you imagine what this stuff would be worth on the surface?"

"You will not!" the demon swung it's arm in frustration. "it is mine, all of it! You will take only the key, or I shall destroy you!"

"hmmm," Ava turned to Varric and smiled. Her plan had worked out after all. "you mind?"

Varric took Bianca from his back and smiled. "Way ahead of you." Pull the trigger, they watched as the demon fell before their feet. "Bianca says the treasure is ours."

Immediately Varric went to the treasure, picking and choosing what he thought would bring a fortune in the markets. Carver came behind him. "I'm sorry I doubted you sister." He said as he faced the treasure, eyes sparkling. Together he and Varric began shifting through the chest.

"You never intended to side with the demon did you?" Fenris asked taking the space beside her.

"You see that now, huh?" she smiled at him, not knowing exactly why.

He laughed. "It seems I have once again underestimated you."

"It seems you have."

A/N so yess this was fun to write in the next chapter years pass by as I am sure you know. But I might have a slightly different outcome then the game for the deep roads, im not sure yet. Let me know what you think and then ill see what comes out


	7. Chapter 7

Denial chapter 7

################

"Mama, do you miss papa and uncle Carver?"

"Of course sweet heart. Every minute of every day." Tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"When will we get to see them again?"

"Soon, love, real soon."

################

Ava made her way out of viscounts keep feeling nothing but the wait of the city on her shoulders. How could the Arishok possibly have called her by name? She had no more dealings with him then the rest of the officials in the city. And now here she was roped into helping.

"Andraste's tits, I need a day job." She said to the sky as she began down the staircase.

"Mistress Hawke!" Bringing her head down from the clouds, she peered in front of her to see a very stout dwarf running towards her, small envelop in hand.

"Bodhan did you run all that way?" she asked as the dwarf bent over by the knees in front of her to catch his breathe.

"Yes, ma'am. I hate being responsible for all that coin."

"You are you could have left it with someone in the house yes?" she laughed as she took the envelope from his out stretched hand.

"No one was home. I believe your mother went to visit Gamlen and your brother went to the Alienage."

Sigh "Very well. Thank you Bodhan."

"It was my pleasure." The dwarf turned and went to be on his way. "Bodhan!"

He stopped and looked at her from the bottom of the stairs. "I do not require a manservant. You know."

"Ah Mistress, it is the least I can do since you saved, Sandal." He bowed and went on his way.

_I wonder what would happen if I told him we actually didn't rescue Sandal?_

She had the feeling it wouldn't change much in Bodhan's view so she just left it.

It didn't take very long to regain the estate when they had returned form the deep roads. Only four months if memory serves correct. And now it has been almost three years and she still dreaded the bloody house. She, herself was never on for big fancy things. But she was at least happy to be out of her uncle's house and away from his prodding nose.

She walked the streets of high town feeling somewhat out of place. Everyone else seemed so confident in themselves and while she did have confidence it had nothing to do with politics, and money like so many others who walked these streets.

Passing her estate, she continued up the stairs in to a place she found familiar and comfortable. When she found out the estate was not far from his she took some comfort in the fact. She wasn't the only one who didn't fit in. and since they seemed to be on better terms after the deep roads, she found herself enjoying Fenris's company more and more these days.

Turning into the estate she quietly closed the door and made her way up the stairs in to the room he spent most of his days in. As she climbed the stairs she saw the fire burning brightly and his shadow painted the wall before him, dancing in the light. Staying at the door way she smiled as she watched him take a sip of the wine bottle. "A little early for a drink, isn't it?" He said shrug his shoulders and taking another sip before he offered the bottle to her.

"3 years" he spoke looking at the fire. Ava set the bottle down and took a seat in the chair across from him. "And there's still no sign of Danarius. I'm beginning to wonder if he's finally given up."

"Perhaps he has. Would that be so terrible?"

He looked at her and something spread across his face but it was gone to quickly for her to place.

"Tell me what do you when you stop running?"

That was a question Ava felt like she couldn't answer. So many options came across her mind. Return to Par vollen, leave the free marches in general. These were all things she could see him doing if he felt that his master really have given up. But she didn't want to voice it. Because if she did then he might actually leave.

"Make a life, I suppose. Start over like you wanted."

He squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. "I don't know how. My first memory was of receiving the markings. The lyrium being branded into my skin, the agony wiped away everything. Whatever life I could have possibly had before, it lost now." He rose from his seat and shook his head. "I shouldn't burden. These aren't you problems."

Ava smiled and before she had any sense she let the words escape from her lips. "They could be my problems."

Fenris looked back at me a questioning look in his eyes. "You're a beautiful woman Hawke. Has no one else caught your eye?"

She rose and circled his chair until she was behind him. Stretching her arms out she leaned down and carefully caressed his ear. "If I answer truthfully, are you sure you won't run away?"

"It would be less of a reason then I had before."

#########

It was the first conversation that Ava remembered that did not end with them arguing. The first time she had openly expressed herself and all she had denied for years. And it always returned to her as she watched the fire at night. Necarrii slept silently beside her unaware of her mother's in struggles with the past. It was moments like this that her determination spiked up to new levels. She had to reach Denerim before time ran out. It was her last chance.

A/N got kinda stumped on this chapter lol but it came out better then i thought :)


	8. Chapter 8

Denial chapter 8

Ava staggered up the path to the wounded coast her brother, Varric and Fenris close behind her. This week had truly been too much for her. Everything going on with the qunari compiled with all her personal business, it was taking its toll on her.

Seeing the rocks before her, she slowed her pace, trying to keep on her feet. Elf Root could be so difficult to find some days. It's not like in Fereldan, where they so commonly grew in ever patch of wild you could find.

"Perhaps we she check this way, sister." Carver stopped and pointed up a larger path similar to the one that lead to where the StarkHaven apostates had hidden out. Looking back at the rocky road before her and then the wider road to her left. "Lead the way brother." She did not wish to make things harder then they already were.

Together they trekked through the sands, laughing at whatever latest tale Varric had decided to spin about them. She could help but laugh with the rest of them when she heard she had single handedly took down a dragon. But their laugh was short lived.

Footsteps echoed above them. Whoever was here was not trying to be stealthy, they were trying to be seen.

They stopped at the base of a small rock, looking up to find a armored man followed by several well-equipped soldiers. "You are in possession of stolen property!"

Slavers. Anger rose inside her and she could feel the magic lick at her fingertips. But she could not loose control. "Fenris is a free man!"

Beside her she could here her companions preparing for the inevitable battle. Fenris stepped up beside her, broadsword in hand, glowing. "I am not you slave!"

The battle started before she could even blink. Arrows fell around her, whether they were friend or foe she didn't know, but she moved to stay out of the line of fire. Swords clashed around her as she did her best to send spells to aid her friends but she was surrounded, everything was chaos. A slaver moved behind her and she swung her stave blocking his blade while she retrieved the dagger from her inner robes and sent it into his neck. Blood splattered as he fell to the ground. More slavers descended upon her and she barely caught a glance of the others in the same predicament before they obscured her view. Swinging her stave, sending tendrils of magic only did so much to keep her opponents at bay but she could do nothing else until the others were free to help. "A little help would be appreciated." She called to the others as three slavers replaced those who had fallen. The slavers swung their swords trying to get at her only to be caught and stopped by her stave. They stood there trying to break through but she held her own, knees shaking as she tried to work up a spell to help her.

Her hands struggled with the weight of the hits. She wasn't going to last much longer against them. Focusing her energy as much as she could, she opened her palms and a blast of fire escaped as she fell back from momentum. She stood there laying on the floor for a minute listening as the sounds of the battle died around her.

"Sister?" opening her eyes she saw Carver standing over her arm stretched out in assistance.

"I'm fine." She said taking his hand gratefully and using it to rise to her feet.

"Where is he?" she heard Fenris shout and immediately pushed Carver out the way. Despite her exhaustion, she found herself running to him but Varric's hand stopped her, holding her in place. "Fenris!"

"I swear I don't know!" she watched as Fenris, standing over one of the mage's, took the man's head and slammed it into the sand. "Hadrianna brought us!" he screamed when his head came up again. Grains of sand escaped his mouth.

"Whose hadrianna?" Carver asked taking up the spot beside Varric. Ava still struggled against Varric's grasp.

Fenris yanked back on the mage's head and Ava swore she could feel his pain. Fear clouded his eyes. "Where is she?" Fenris growled.

"I-in the holding caves- just north of the city." He stammered "I can show you the way"

"No need I know the caves you speak of."

"Please don't-" Fenris snapped the mages neck before he could finish his pleas, rendering his body useless just as all the others that laid around them were. Ava cringed as she watched the body fall limp onto the sand.

"Hadrianna." The name left his lips with a scowl. "I was a fool to believe I was free. They'll never let me be!"

Slowly Varric's hand slipped from her wrist and she felt herself making her way to Fenris. "Who's Hadrianna?" she repeated Carver's question.

"My old master's apprentice. I remember her well: a sniveling social climber that would sell her own children if she thought it would please Danarius." He spoke with such disdain. But she knew what he was waiting for.

Smiling slyly she replaced her stave on her back. "Then why are we still standing around?"


	9. Chapter 9

Denial chapter 9

"STOP! You do not want me dead!" Hadrianna screamed out as Fenris brought his sword over his shoulder preparing for the deadly strike. Ava watched from behind gently replacing her stave. The battles to get here were not easy. Traps among traps. The dead coming to fight alongside the slavers. The bloodletting. It brought a shudder to her body.

"There is only one person I want dead more." Fenris responded to her plea.

Hadrianna grabbed her side and carefully moved up into semi-sitting position, pain clear on her face. "I have information elf, and I will trade it for my life." Ava could see Fenris's blade falter slightly as he considered what she had to say. What information could possible worth this woman's life?

"The location of Danarius? What good will that do me?" Fenris scoffed at the thought. "No I'd rather he loose his pet pupil." Ava saw Fenris move to bring his sword down upon the magister's body. But just as she braced for the sound of the sword connecting, Hadrianna's voice rang out again. "You have a sister. She's alive."

The shock that over took Fenris's face over took all of them. Ava watched silently as he brought his sword down and watched the woman beneath him, looking for signs of her possible lie no doubt.

Taking advantage of this moment, Hadrianna rose into full sitting position and continued talking. "You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go and I will tell you where she is."

Fenris replaced the sword on his back as Ava and the rest of their group moved to join him. She watched the mage. She was the cause of the hatred in Fenris's life, why would she not be lying now? She had no doubt done it before. But then again, this could be what Fenris needed. A hope to latch on to. "It's your call, Fenris." Was all she said.

Slowly he walked up to Hadrianna. "So I have your word? I tell you and you let me go?"

Bending down to her face, Ava could not see his emotions but he spoke his next words as if they burned his very insides. "You have my word."

She could just make out the slight smile on Hadrianna's face but it was gone quickly as she rushed through her words, trying to save her life. "Her name is Varania. She is in Qarinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman."

"A servant. Not a slave." It wasn't a question.

"She is not a slave."

It only took a second for Ava to realize what was going to happen. Just as Hadrianna's words left her mouth, Fenris sparked blue. "I believe you." He said before taking his hand, sticking it in her chest and crushing her heart.

They all watched as the body fell through his hand and crumbled to the ground, lifeless. Turning around he moved toward them, his face completely emotionless. "We are done here."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She couldn't help but ask.

He flashed around, anger streaming off his face like magic streamed off her fingertips. "NO! I don't want to talk about it! This could be a trap. Danarius could have sent Hadrianna to tell me about this sister. And even if he didn't, going after her would be suicide." She could hear the slight desperation in his voice. "Danarius had to know about her and he must have known Hadrianna knew about her." His hands clasped to his side. "But all that matters is that I finally got to crush that bitches heart." He spit to the side. "May she rot in hell and all other mages with her."

"Well, ouch." She knew the comment wasn't meant for her but she couldn't help herself, trying to break the tension.

"You saw what they did here! How far off could you be from becoming just as power hungry."

"Fenris, your angry, I understand that but-" she tried to calm him down but he kept going.

"You almost lost control once. What's to keep it from happening again?"

"Enough! I will not stand here while you bash my sister!" Carver shouted. "She has done nothing but help and befriend you! Hasn't she done more than enough to prove her loyalties?"

Fenris seemed to struggle. He had realized Carver's words had held truth but she could tell he wasn't one to apologize. "Perhaps we should leave…" she said moving to Fenris hand slightly out stretched as if to lend some comfort.

He swiped her hand away. "I don't need your pity." He said and stormed out the door and back to the wounded coast.

Ava's heart clenched.


	10. Chapter 10

Denial chapter 10

Ava opened the door to her manor carefully as not to make any noise that may wake up her mother or her brother. She had spent a good portion of the night with Varric looking for any trace of Fenris, but he could not be found. And to think it was not too long ago she and Fenris had actually had a conversation where they had not stormed off from each other, hotheaded and moody. She guessed the moment was short lived. Perhaps now things would go back to the way they used to be, both of them having their little spats and then being on good terms again. And here she thought he had actually begun to like her.

She removed her stave and placed it by the door, quietly moving in as she undid the straps of her outer robes.

"ehm." She stopped mid stride in the foyer and looked up to see the source of the sound. "Fenris!" she jumped back a little in surprise. "Where were you? We've been looking for-"the elf stood and made his way to her slightly scratching his head, his face taking a somewhat uncomfortable look.

"I've been thinking about what happened with Hadrianna." He stopped a moment to ponder his words. "I took my anger out on you, un-deservedly so. I was not myself. I'm sorry."

"I was worried about you. You just stormed off… I didn't know where you went or what had happened." She let the words fall off her tongue before she could even think.

"I needed to be alone." He walked a ways off as he continued to talk, lost in a memory. "When I was a slave Hadrianna was a torment. She would ridicule me. Deny my meals, hound my sleep and because of her status, I was powerless to respond and she knew it." There was so much disdain in his voice so much hatred. "Just the thought of her slipping out of my grasp, I couldn't let it happen. I wanted to let her go, but I couldn't."

Curiosity nipped at her conscious. "What do you mean?"

He looked down, clenching his fingers in a pain she could not describe. "This hate. I thought I have gotten away from it. With you and so many other things to distract me from it…" he shook his head and looked up at her again "but it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, after so long, to know it was them who planted it inside me, it was too much to bear." He watched her, his shinning green eyes looking for something. Finally he gave up and sighed. "I did not come to burden you." He turned to leave.

"Fenris," she reached out her hand to grab his shoulder. "Don't –"the moment her hand made contact to his armor he reacted. Glowing and growling he grabbed her hand and pushed her up against the wall. But the moment he realized what he had done, who it was, his body relaxed and a certain look came across his face. The next thing she knew his lips were moving against hers fierce and passionate in what can only be described as the best kiss she ever received. She responded with equal hunger. Pulling his body closer to hers as the kiss deepened. Turning, she kept her grip on him and pushed him against the wall. They broke the kiss for only second, looking at each other both silently asking if the other wanted to go through with this.

Smiling, Ava leaned back in for another kiss. She had a feeling this was going to be an impossibly long night.

A/N short chapter I know but you don't need a lot to explain this lol sooo yeaa next couple of chapters should be interesting especially when it comes to deciding where their daughter, Necarrii, comes in ;) ideas are greatly welcomed


	11. Chapter 11

A/N so I wasn't sure how to do this chapter. I didn't know where I wanted their relationship to go so yeaa I tired. The next chapter should be interesting though if I have my way with it ;) please R&R

Denial chapter 11

Ava's hand moved slowly across the side of her bed as she awoke from her daze. Noticing that she felt nothing but the sheets, she sprung up with a slight urgency. To her relief Fenris stood by the fireplace, arm rest on the mantle as he silently thought about whatever it was that was going through his mind.

"That bad?" she asked curling her legs up to her chin and holding them in place with her hand. She turned her hand to him and smiled as he turned confused as to what he could possibly say.

"no-I-" taking a deep breathe he ran a hand through his white hair. "It was better than I could have imagined."

"Then what?"

"I- I began to remember. My life before."

Ava let her legs unfold and shock filled her features. "That's good isn't it?"

He shook his head. "I saw no more than flashes. But-" his head shot up and he looked her in the eye. "It's too much, too fast. I can't do this"

Ava felt her heart pang as she stood up and grabbed the bed pole to steady herself. "What are you saying?" she shook her head in disbelief as tears threatened to poor. "We can work through this."

She reached out for him but he backed away. " This is none of your concern, Ava."

"MAKE IT MY CONCERN!" tears were falling now but she didn't care. "All this time. You and me have never seen eye to eye. You could have just left well enough alone. " She paused to gather "Now you're just going to leave?"

A painful look spread across his face. "I'm sorry. All I wanted was to be happy just for a little while." He turned and made for the door. "Forgive me."

She watched him leave staring at the door even when she knew he was gone. She didn't know what to do. Her heart ached, her eyes burned. Her entire body was shaking from emotion. Slowly she just sunk down to the floor and waited.

The last bandit fell and Ava soon began searching the bodies for anything that proved useful.

"You know, Hawke, I'm not one to pry-"

"Oh certainly not, Varric. Is that why I fought a dragon last week?"

"Now, now, Hawke. That was just… an imaginative assumption especially when you walk in to a bar looking the way you did."

Ava and him laughed with the memory.

"But on a serious matter, you've been… somewhat… overly aggressive as of late. Is everything alright?"

"Of course, Varric why would you ask?" taking her knife she cut into the pocket of one of the bodies.

"Well for one, the bandit you are currently stealing from is missing an arm."

Ava looked up and then followed Varric's eyes. Sure enough one of her spells had cut straight through the bandits flesh leaving his arm safely on the ground beside him. Her face twisted in disgust.

"I'm fine Varric." She said taking the coin bag and placing it her pocket as she grabbed her stave.

"Fine. Care to tell me what's up with Broody then?"

Ava froze in spot. This past week she had done her best to try and forget about what happened between her and Fenris, with little success. All of her friends seemed worried about him and her both.

"And why would I know this?" The words left her mouth as the ache reached her heart.

"Hawke. We are not stupid. We know there's something between you and him."

Ava turned back fiercely, fire burning in her eyes. "There is nothing between us."

Varric stood in place starring at his friend. "Whatever you say, Princess"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N so yeaaa i guess this is just a set up chapter. the next chapter will probably be after Lady Leandra dies. which should be intresting seeing how you lover "Comforts" you on her death. lol if anyone has any ideas or things they would like to see feel free to let me know. R&R :)

Denial chapter 12

She literally went all the way around High Town. Yes it would have been much easier to walk up toward the keep, but when she saw him there her anger had got the better of her and forced her back the way she came.

She hadn't spoken to Fenris in over two weeks and she planned to keep it that way. There were better things to do then mop about, feeling sorry for herself over his actions. Yes plenty more to do. Dealing with crazy ranting Templars and there murder theories. Not to mention the fights along the wounded coast. In fact just today her, Sebastian, Anders and Carver had just dispatched another problem in the bone pit. How it went from dragons to spiders she will never know.

But all she wanted now was to go home and rest. Her body ached, her stomach churned with every step she took and it took all her will not to throw up as soon as she got in the door.

She set her stave on its rest and hung her robes. Walking slowly she made her way into the sitting room, as always lit with fire, but instead of finding her mother standing there as she usually did, she found Gamlen screaming at Sandal.

"LEANDRA!" her uncles voice made her face scrunch up in agitation.

"OH Maker's breathe, Uncle, your voice." She held her hands up to her ears as she got his attention.

"Ava. Finally. Could you please go fetch your mother for me?"

Ava expression turned confused.

"Surely she's in her room."

"AH yes uncle. She just decided to stay locked up when she heard you screaming her name at the top of your lungs." She stored over to the chair by the fire, a sat down carefully. This was not going to be a good day.

"Don't toy with me, girl. She didn't come by for her weekly visit and I would just like to know why."

"Well, I haven't seen her since I left this morning with Carver and he went straight to Merril's house afterward so I don't know where she could be." Ava closed her eyes.

"Perhaps with her suitor?" Bodhan's voice rang through as he came into the room.

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor."

"Well, I don't know what else could explain the flowers."

Flowers. Ava's eyes shot open. There in front Bodhan stood holding a bouquet of white lilies.

"I've heard something of this." She rose from her chair and head for the door her uncle following right behind. "There's a murderer in Kirkwall. He sends his victims white lilies. "

She grabbed her robes and began suiting up. "You're lying. Leandra's fine. Maybe she just took the long way to my house." With that he left to search low town.

Grabbing her stave she followed. If anything could be found it would be there.

* * *

They both stared at the blood on the floor. According to the boy it had been the man's but still the thought that someone that injured was with their mother… it made her worry.

" Perhaps we should keep on." Merril's voice brought both her and Carver out of their thoughts. She nodded and began following the trail.

When Ava had gone to fetch Carver, the mage had insisted on coming along and how could she say no. Merril was her brother's lover and if he wanted her there, she would be.

_Especially if things turn for the worse._

Her heart panged with loneliness. How she longed to have Fenris to by her side, but she knew it would happen. He had made his choice but like before her heart betrayed her rational reasoning.

"There. In the foundry." Carver pointed as he and Ava began running to the foundry door. The blood led on, the only color in this dull forgotten place. Slowly moving, they made their way up the stairs and into the little alcoves that were once used as storage to those who used this place. Finally they halted.

There before them stood a small, slightly opened trap door.

Sigh. "Shall we then?" Ava asked her companions as she bent down and opened the door.

_She's alive._

That was the last thing she remembered thinking before she continued into the darkness.

* * *

They descended into the cavern below prepared. Never once had they gone anywhere without being so and for that she was grateful.

The trap triggered the minute she set foot on the floor below them. Blasted in front of her sending her running back to avoid the heat, shades erupted from each side of them attacking the group from all angles. Merril and Ava were at a disadvantage. The shades were to close for them to cast any effecting spells, fear of hurting each other and Carver. All they could do was slash away and that only provided so much distraction.

"MERRIL!" Ava screamed as her friend went down after being clawed by a shade. Carver turned and went to her. Shades surrounded her on all sides but the ones that lingered on the side moved, glided to her brother and Merril. And they were vulnerable.

Ava slashed at the shade in front her with her stave, bringing her fingers up to her head she focused all her energy on a mind blast. Letting the power flow she let it go and watched all that surrounded her fall backwards, disoriented. That gave her just the time she needed. Hurrying over to her friends she quickly erected a ball of pure energy around them.

"Sister.."

"Don't move." She said. Closing her eyes she raised her arms above her head and began chanting to the sky. Power flowed through her, power like she never felt before. It wasn't like when she had been mad at Anders. This felt more stable. Slowly a smile spread across her face as the fire balls rained down. She watched and enjoyed as each and every shade burned to ashes before her. When the final ball fell she turned down to her companions.

Merril laid still her head draped across Carver's lap, her eyes watching her side as the blood poured from the deep gash on her side. Carver tried to move but Ava stilled him. "No." laying her stave down she glided her hand over the wound to feel the damage. "It's not as bad as it seems." Her fingers brushed her side gently as she worked her way up to where the wound ended by her stomach.

Her eyes opened in shock.

"Sister?"

"I-I- Give me a moment to heal it." Closing her eyes again she tried to focus on Merril's pulsing wound, imagining it closing, healing. The magic felt warm and soothing as it left her hands and Merril's quickening heart beat soon matched the other inside of her.

Softly her eyes fluttered open. "Thank you Hawke."

"You make sure she's okay while I look around."

Ava rose as her brother helped Merril in to sitting position.

Through her peripheral Ava watched as she began whispering fiercely, eyes darting in her direction.

Ignoring them, Ava's eyes began darting around, scanning for anything that could be of any assistance in finding their mother.

Then she saw it. The body lying there across the table, as still as could be. Slowly Ava approached it scared at what she might find. Her heart beat quickened with each step. Her mouth felt dry and sweat poured down her face. Reaching out she grabbed the shoulder of the body and swiftly turned it over.

Empty eyes gazed up at her as curls fell over the dead woman's face. Stepping back Ava couldn't help but feel relief. But at the same time, she knew she would have to hurry.

"Mother." she whispered into the darkness.


	13. Chapter 13

Denial chapter 13

They stood at the foot of the fire, gazing up at their mother's portrait. But that was impossible. Why would her mother's portrait be down here?

"We have to hurry." Ava turned on site and made way to the exit at the end of the hall. Whoever or whatever this fiend was, if her mother was hurt he would find no mercy. Fire burned in her eyes. She could feel it. Her world was spinning. Shaking her head she stopped and tried to regain her senses. She would not lose control again.

"Ava, are you okay?" her brother came behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She nodded in response. "Let's just keep moving." Moving quickly they turned down a hall way similar to the rat ways they traveled in Dark Town. The ground beneath their feet crunched with each step they took. Walking a head the saw stairs, but something just before that caught her eye. Slowing her paces, Ava came to a halt in front of the stairs. Bending down she picked something up and held it before her eyes.

"What is it, Ava?"

Moving her head out of his sights, she allowed Carver to see what it was she had found. Their mother's locket.

Taking a deep breathe she placed the item in her pocket and continued on to the stairs. Slowly they descended. Keeping their weapons drawn, the three companions carefully rounded the corner and came to a halt.

All around them the hum of magic flourished. Torches illuminated the work space that had no doubt been used for Maker only knows. A man stood on the far side of the room, bent over a woman sitting in a chair. At the sound of their approach he looked up and smiled.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. Leandra was so sure that you would come for her."

"Where is she you bastard?" Carver's voice pierced the walls and echoed back.

A small sleek smile spread across the man's face. Automatically Ava went into the defensive.

"You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special, and now she's part of something greater."

"You sick bastard! What have you done with our Mother?" she felt a power surge as her words left her mouth.

A small spread across the man's lips. "She's right here of course, waiting for you." Stepping back he moved around the chair holding the woman. Horror struck her.

"I," the man said bending down slightly to caress the woman's face. "have done the impossible." Looking up Ava could see the sparkle in his eyes. "I have touched the face of the maker and lived."

Grabbing the woman's hand he gently brought her up. "Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?" Bringing her hand to his lips he placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles. "Love."

He smiled as Ava's insides churned. Behind her she could feel Carver as he to realized what the man had been doing. As he realized what has happened.

"I pierced her together. I found her eyes." He grazed his fingertips against her eyes. "Her skin. Her delicate fingers." Reaching down he interlaced their fingers.

"And now at last, her face… her beautiful face." Taking her hand he spun her around to face the trio. Ava's heart quickened as her fears became reality. There before her stood her mother, sewn and pieced together to form some new twisted, demented creature. Her eyes, glossed over and dead, stared at them, pleading.

Ava felt it all at once. Pain, anger, hatred. For once in her life she saw magic for the curse that it was. Trapping her mother's soul on this earth to please the horrid will of a demented man.

"I searched far and wide to find her again." Around them smoke appeared revealing the desire demons that without a doubt provided aid to this monster. She felt fire burn in her eyes as tears began to form.

"My beloved , now no force can ever break us apart."

That was her breaking point. Ava stared at the monster before her as the fire began licking at her fingertips. Power licking at her fingertips. Before she could even think, she turned to the closest demon and sent a fireball loose at the monstrosity, smiling in pleasure when she heard the creature scream in agony.

_Yes burn. Burn in hell for the pain you caused us._

Listening, she heard the battle as the others as they too began to dispatch the other monsters that dared trapped her mother her.

A head of her, the man smiled. With the wave of his stave he erected a protective sphere around his form.

Anger burned through Ava's veins. She hurled a fireball at the sphere and watched as it evaporated into smoke. The man laughed.

_No No No! he must pay! _ The voice in her head took complete control now and she watched as she prepared for another attacked.

Anger and fear fueled her power. Focusing her energy she called to the skies, and soon lightening began to rain breaking the barrier. This was her chance.

Pulling back she sent a stone fist straight at him, sending him back away from her mother.

"You think you've tapped in to unseen power," her voice was cold and fierce. "Wait till you see what I can do." Holding her hands in front of her she called forth spirit like she had done only once before. As she did two giant spirit hands formed in front of her. She watched as horror struck the man's face as the hands descended upon him. "No force from this earth." Gripping her hands together she began to squeeze until he turned red. "Good thing magic is not from this earth." And with that she ripped him in half.

A/N so yea i know that you cant actually use that spell in the game much to my disappointment cuz in the prologue it was epic but i thought having hawke loose her self here would be intresting. as for how i ended the chapter i thought a little cliff hanger would be cool. wonder how ava's gonna get out of this one :P

post comments please! I'm extremeli happy to have so many people reading but i would really like to know your thoughts! so please share :) and be nice :) lol thanx guys much love 3


	14. Chapter 14

Denial chapter 14

She stood in the back, not wanting to see what lied further in the chantry. She knew she couldn't handle it even if she tried.

Looking to the front, she saw her brother sitting right in the front pew, his face just as emotionless as it had been when they left the manor. Gamlen sat, looking just as hollow, to his right and to his left sat Merril.

To Ava's surprise, the young elf had been a great help when they had started to plan the wake. It warmed her heart to know her brother had found such a person.

But at the same time it made her more aware of the loneliness she felt, now even more so that her mother was gone.

Attempting to distract herself she tried to focus on service before her. Sebastian stood at the podium now, reciting the chant of light in a soft, saddening voice. Her mother's body to on a small pyre, completely still and peaceful dressed in her white gown.

She looked to the pew behind her brother's. Varric, Aveline, Isabella, Anders, they all sat there paying their respects with their presence. Helping to console their friends. Only Fenris was nowhere to be seen.

Ava truly wished he had come. This past two weeks she longed for his arms around her, his soft whispers consoling her as she cried herself to sleep. But she didn't have it. She couldn't. And now her she was watching as her heart broke once again. Her stomach churned and a wave of nausea hit her.

"Mother…" The word left her mouth softer then a whisper, but it was all she needed for her pain to start once more. Turning, she made for the door. She would not let them see her as she was now. She did not need there pity.

Walking fast with her head down, it was only natural that she didn't see him. Her thoughts were so distracting, it wasn't until she ran in to him that she even realized her was there.

"Ava."

Looking up through her tears she found Fenris gazing down at her, his face almost emotionless like it had been before. It was only in his eyes that she could see he was trying to hide something.

"Fenris." She wiped her eyes and stood up straight. "What are you doing here?'

"I came to pay my respects…" he looked up at the pyre and then turned back to her. "Are you ok?"

"My mother's dead. My heart is broken. Do I need further explain." She moved around him and made for the door, listening as his footsteps followed her out.

When she was out she was welcomed by the fresh air and bright light. The town moved busily in front of her, not even caring what had gone on within the walls of the city.

Moving down the stairs, she practically ran to keep distance from him. But he wouldn't have it.

"Ava, please."

"Please what?" she came to a sudden halt and her stomach churned again, in disagreement. "You walked out on me."

The elf stood silent, his face hard. "You act as if I wanted to."

She laughed. "It doesn't matter!" nausea hit her again. "Look, I don't want to deal with this. Thank you for your condolences, but I must go." She stormed off toward the manor.

"Ava-" his hand caught her shoulder. Turning her around, she watched as the world began to spun. Her stomach reacted in a way that was completely foreign to her.

The last thing she remembered was her mother's face smiling at her before she passed out in Fenris's arms.

A/N ok so I guess this is just a filler chapter. I wanted to show how I thought Hawke reacted in the game. She didn't really show that much emption so since Ava seems to be under a lot of stress and pressure I thought I should keep it like that. As for the talk with Fenris that could have been better and I promise the next chapter will be lol comment pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


	15. Chapter 15

Denial chapter 15

The bed sheets rustled underneath as her body slowly began to move. Feeling started coming back to her. Her head pounding so hard it felt she was hit by a stone fist. Her stomach turning so fast the waves of nausea felt overwhelming. Finally her eyes fluttered open.

She was home, in the manor, the familiar faces of Caver and Fenris gazing down upon her.  
"Ugh what happened?"

"You passed out." Anders appeared in the door way. He approached the bed cautiously. "How do you feel?"

Ava groaned. "Like utter hell." She gagged at the thought of her nausea.

Anders chuckled. " I can only imagine."

Ava stared at him. "Why are you laughing?" She turned her gaze to everyone watching as each of them avoided her gaze. They knew something. "What's wrong?"

"Listen Hawke, I'm not sure how to tell you this but-,"

"Mistress?" Bodahn appeared at the door. " My, it is a pleasure to see you well again."

Ava smiled softly. "Thank you, Bodahn. Is there something you need?"

"Oh yes. You have more guests waiting for you in the sitting room. "

"Oh get off of your high horse. I have problems, too." Isabella's voice echoed from downstairs.

"shit." Ava was up and out of bed before anyone could object. She head for the stairs with the other's behind her.

"HA." Aveline was approaching Isabella by the fire. Ava slowed her pace.

"' What drink should I order?' and 'who's the father?'" Aveline stopped in front of her.

"Oh, you little…" Isabella raised her hand just as Ava started running. "HEY!" she caught her hand in mid air just before it made contact with Aveline's face.

"Can't I have just one day to relax? What the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, Hawke. But it's vital. The Arishok is harboring to fugitives who have 'converted' to the Qun. He must be convinced to release them." Aveline's faced looked trouble as she continued with her needs." The situation with Petrice has already made him feared. If people start to believe he can ignore the law… I need your help before things get out of hand."

Ava opened her mouth to offer her friend aid. She too did not want to see things made any worse than they already are. But before she could even get a breathe out, Isabella's voice popped in.

"I'm going to die!"

Both Ava and Aveline turned to face the pirate. Even Anders and Fenris had halted their conversation and turned to Isabella with questioning looks on their faces.

"There. Got your attention. Real problem." Fear crossed in her eyes.

"Isabella, what are you talking about?" Ava had never seen her friend like this. Her stomach turned again. Her world began to spin and her body began to sway.

"Ava." Both Isabella and Fenris grabbed her side and helped her to the chair by the fire.

"Are you ok?" Aveline asked kneeling down to look her in the face.

"Actually, this has to do with what I was trying to say before. Hawke is-"

"Not now Anders. We have more pressing issues at hand." Staying in the chair, she turned her head back toward Isabella. "Now, what were you saying?" she smiled awkwardly.

Ava watched and waited as Isabella fidgeted, debating on whether or not to burden her friend more then she already has. "Ok. Remember the relic? The one Castillon is going to kill me over? I found it. A man named wall eyed Sam has it." Her troubled looked turned into one of slight desperation. "If you help me get, Castillon won't kill me. Please"

Aveline shook her head. "I'm trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari!"

Isabella looked away. "Well, maybe it's connected."

"WHAT?" Aveline and Ava had the same reaction time. The others just stared at Isabella, wide-eyed and surprised.

"Look, I'm just saying maybe it will help. It's important to someone, right?"

Aveline turned and looked Isabella right in her eye. "Now you start being responsible? Shit."

Ava sat in the chair while the others became lost in their own thoughts. She was not in the mood for this. Her mother's funeral was yesterday. She felt like utter shit the past couple of weeks. It was only a matter of time before everything caught up to her.

But she couldn't leave her friends to fend for themselves.

"The relic is priority. If it can somehow help our standing with the Qunari then, even better." She rose from the chair slightly to fast and watched the world rush before her. Grabbing the chair for balance, she straightened herself and headed to put on her armor.

"Hawke maybe you shouldn't-"

"Aye Anders, tell me what's wrong later. There are more pressing matters at hand."

With that, she grabbed her staff and headed out the front door followed closely by Isabella and Aveline.

"You should have told her, mage."

"I would have, had she let me."

Fenris shook his head. "Come. Let us follow them."

Anders grabbed his stave and smiled as they walked out the door. "You know this is the nicest you've been since we met."

A/N ok soooo this is a set up chapter. I know once again it's short. But I wanted to show how much ava cares for her friend. I also needed some way to show the change we all saw in anders as the years passed. Comments pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


	16. Chapter 16

Denial chapter 16

The city of Denerim. It's tall castle like structures glowed brilliantly in the setting sun.

They had finally made it. Now all that concerned her was getting in undetected.

"Mama? Is that where papa is?"

She smiled down at Necarrii's sweet innocent face. "I hope so sweetling. I hope so."

* * *

The last qunari fell and Ava had to put all her strength into not puking on spot. The smell of blood and gore had always bothered, but today it was too much. Turning away she looked to Isabella.

"Bella?" Ava didn't even have to ask. She knew Isabella would know what she wanted to know.

"Er.. well yes. About all this. You see the relic, it belongs to the qunari... and there may be a small chance the want it back."

Ava laughed a humorless. "Bella, what's the whole story?"

Isabella averted her gaze but Ava kept her eyes locked. She wanted so much to just lie in bed with the waste basket at her side.

"Ava I'm sorry. I've known all along what the relic was but with everything that's happened the past few months… I didn't want to worry you."

"Yes. So kind of you." Aveline crossed her arms and shook her head in anger.

Fenris remained quiet.

"It wasn't my fault." She turned and began to pace. " The relic is some hand written text by that philosopher of theirs- keslan, cousland-"

"koslun?" Fenris spoke and Ava couldn't help but turn and look at him.

"That's the one."

"The founder of their religion, the most revered being in history? That text would be scared beyond measure."

Isabella nodded. "I stole it from them, they followed me here to reclaim it, and that's why they're still here." Isabella turned back to Ava. "Again, I'm sorry."

"No, You could have avoided all of this." Aveline's voice rang stern and true.

"She's right, Bella. All of this could have been avoided had you just come to me with the truth." Betrayal struck at Ava's heart.

"I know, but I know you. You want me to give it back. But I can't."

"Can't you?"

Isabella's face tightened. "That book is the only thing that is going to save my skin!"

Ava took a step back. "Your right. You should give it back." She took a deep breath. "But I'm not going to make you."

Isabella's head shot up. "What?"

"If it's the only thing that will keep you alive, then take it. We'll find some other to negotiate with the Arishok."

Her eyes grew wide in shock. "Really?"

Ava nodded.

A small smile sad spread across her lips. "Thank you."

"Don't make us regret it." Aveline stepped forward. Fenris right beside her.

"Come on. We're wasting time."

* * *

She ran out after Isabella. None of them knew that magisters would be there with the qunari. The minute Bella ran out, the fighting began. She had tried to attack, freezing one of the magisters on spot but Fenris had stepped in her way blocking any assistance she could have provided.

"Go after her." Was all he said before jumping in to help Aveline.

The door to lowtown swung softly on its hinges showing that she had just left. Ava slowed her pace and carefully opened the door.

"Bella!"

The sultry pirate turned just as her knife left the one eyed man's throat. Ava watched as the man fell to the ground, the sand changing color as the blood of his life drained out of him.

"Bella…"

"I'm sorry, Ava." And with that she ran.

Tears threatened to fall and then she just couldn't handle it. She ran to the corner and began heaving. She puked until the tears finally fell and even as she fell back against the wall she still didnot feel any better. Her stomach turned nervously as she waited for her companions.

Closing her eyes she tried to let the feelings pass.

"Find the Saarebas and her companion."

Her head jerked up when the qunari's think accent reached her ears. Jumping up she reacted as fast as she could summoning a raging temptest , halting there company. She watched only for a few seconds as their bodies twitched and convulsed as the electricity entered their body. Turning, she ran for the door of the foundry.

"Vinek Kathas!" Just as she turned to acknowledge the voice, an arrow made contact with her right shoulder knocking her back beside the door.

"UGH!" Just she hit the wall the door flew open. Fenris and Aveline stood just outside the doorway weapons drawn. She winced as she tried to move.

Fenris's head turned to her and all she saw was anger.

Before she knew it him and Aveline wear taking the caravan down one by one. She watched in horror as their swords cut through the giants grey flesh.

Before she knew it the fight was over.

"Hawke." Aveline sheathed her sword and helped her rise from the ground.

She removed the arrow quickly. It was a good thing she chose armor to wear this night. It had managed to stop the arrow from going straight through, but she would have a nasty scar if she did not get to Anders soon.

"Are you hurt bad?" Fenris's face was filled with worry and Ava couldn't help but be confused. This man.

"I'm fine." Aveline wrapped her arm around her as she stood.

"What happened to Isabella?" Fenris took her from Aveline's hands placing one of her hands over his head while his other snaked around her waist, drawing her close.

"Took off as I got outside- ah-" she winced in pain as he adjusted his hold.

"I'm sorry."

Ava turned to him. Looking in his eyes she tried to figure something out. "Your just one big ol' puzzle aren't you?" she smiled and then for the second time today she passed out, falling into the arms of the man she loved.

A/N this will be the only time you will see hawke this vunerable cuz trust after she gets her family she will be bad! XD lol but yeaaa comments questions and concerns. Let's see how far fenris's love goes.


	17. Chapter 17

Denial chapter 17

"Fenris, if you do not put down, I swear-" Anders watched with an amused grin as Fenris came through the foyer, a squirming Ava thrashing in his hands.

"What happened?" Anders couldn't hide his laughter.

"Nothing." Ava stated finally giving up and crossing her arms across her chest. She winced.

Anders glanced at her armor, a thing line of blood flowed from her right shoulder.

He pointed.

"Qunari." Fenris spoke putting Hawke on the floor.

"It's nothing." Turning to the door she tried to leave. Fenris grabbed her arm. "Aveline is waiting for me."

"Aveline is preparing her company of guards, Ava."

"Yes but still we need to hurry." She tried to break free of his hand.

"Ava, relax. You're going over do it." Anders said stepping up.

Her head shot toward Anders. "Says who?"

She shook her hand out of Fenris's grip. "I will not sit by and let those around me fight alone."

"You can't protect everyone, Ava."

"If I don't who will?" her head pounded and her stomach turned.

"But you can't go on like you have been. Are you trying to die?"

Anger burned inside of her. "Of course not! But what's my life compared to those I can save?"

Too many times has she been unable to save those around her. Bethany, Feynriel, Seamus, even her own mother. She had failed them and so many others. It was not her fault that she went on as she did. Fighting battles nonstop, day after day. She had to. It was not that she felt obligated, but since her mother died those weeks ago….

"I buried my worries when I buried my mother yesterday." She turned to the door and began walking.

"I am going to go meet Aveline now."

"What of your wound?"

"I can heal it myself. "and with that she left out the door.

* * *

"I'd wrap up any other business before we head up." Aveline stopped her thought and examined Ava as she drew near. "Hawke, are you alright?"

Ava sighed. People needed to stop worrying about her. "I'm fine Aveline. The faster we get through this the better."

Aveline gave a quick sharp nod. "Warning. It's a mess and it could get worse."

Worse. Ava believed that was always an understatement. Things could get a lot more then worse, especially when it came to dealing with the Qunari. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Aveline turned to the gate and the qunari that stood guard. "I request an audience with the Arishok."

"He will allow it, but not in this number." The guards words were emotionless, hollow.

"I will only bring my friend and a small complement of my guards. Is that few enough?"

The qunari nodded. "It is." Moving to the side as the gates swung open the last word the guard said was "Enter." Already Ava did not like the feel of what was yet to come. As they made their way to the Arishok, eyes followed them intensely. Every single qunari in the compound was watching them and waiting. Aveline was right; this was going to get a lot worse.

As they came into view, they saw the Arishok. He was not in his usual spot looking over the compound. Instead he stood at the base of the concrete stairway; swinging his enormous battle axe, as if preparing for battle. Ava froze as Aveline approached him.

"Shanedan." His thick, bass like voice spoke softly with the greeting.

"Greetings, Arishok." Aveline bowed her head slightly. "We come to you regarding the elven fugitives that took refuge here."

"Irrelevant." The Arishok turned to face Ava. "I would speak to Hawke about the relic stolen from my grasp."

Bella. "I don't have your relic."

"Yes, but you fail to mention your role in its disappearance."

Just before Ava could retort Aveline cut in sparing her a side glance. "An issue for another time. We are here for the fugitives."

"The elves are now viddithari. They have submitted to the Qun. They will be protected."

"Have they truly converted or are they simply using you as a shield?" Ava asked, accusation still dripping from her words.

"They have chosen, and so have I." his words sent shivers down her spine. "You have seen the corruption in this city, the suffering that is allowed. All to selfishly deny the truth of the Qun.

"Let us look at your 'dangerous' criminals." We followed his eyes as a qunari soldier lead out two hooded city elves.

"Speak, viddithari. Who did you murder and why?"

She watched as anger spread across the first elf's face, remembering the reason for what he done.

"A city guard forced himself on our sister. We reported him… or tried to. But they did nothing, no matter what we said. So my brothers and I paid him a visit." A twisted smile played across his face.

"That doesn't excuse murder."

"Is it true, Aveline?" Ava's stomached turned.

"There have been rumors, yes. I will investigate them, but they still took the law into their own hands."

"Sometimes that is necessary." Again, she sensed a hidden meaning in the Arishok's words.

Stepping forward Ava spoke trying to avoid conflict. "We are just here for the elves."

The Arishok lowered his weapon to the ground. "Their actions are mere symptoms. Your society is the disease. They have chosen. The viddithari will submit to the Qun and find a path your way has denied them." he approached Aveline, leaving barley two feet of distance between them.

"You can't just decide that. You must hand them over."

The Arishok stood quietly as his thoughts began to form. "Tell me Hawke," his calling on her gave her a small start. "what would you do in my place?"

The question caught her off guard. How could she even know what was possibly going through his or Aveline's mind. She herself was foreign to the city and in the past years she has been asked to do more than any noble, foreign or not, should be.

"I would do my best to keep the peace and hand the elves over."

"I see." The Arishok stood back and his face tightened. "I cannot leave this city without the relic and I cannot stay and remain blind to this dysfunction. There is only one solution."

Aveline sensed the threat within his words. "Arishok, there's no need-"

He held up his hand and walked back up the stairs, taking his place high among his people. "Vinek kathas"

Realization hit Ava just the first spear came down. Guards fell all around as one by one Aveline's company became nothing. A spear came whizzing toward Aveline but she easily deflected it with her sword. A qunari soldier approached Ava, sword drawn. As he brought down the sword, Ava caught his sword hand. Using her other hand she carefully focused enough energy to summon a fireball that sent him flying. Beside her Aveline took down another with her shield. Just as Ava was about to pull out her stave, Aveline grabbed her. "Not here. Come on." She pulled her along watching for anymore attackers until they reached the gates. Once they safely reached the outside of the compound, they turned and ran.

* * *

_carver*_

Carver was watching from the tall windows that littered most of the walls in the manor. From them he could practically see all the way to DarkTown.

He had come home just a couple of hours ago and was rewarded with a feuding Fenris and Anders. Not wanting to Know, Carver merely stopped the argument and sent Anders on his way. Bloody apostate shouldn't even be allowed in the house in his opinion, but he dared not argue with his sister after all that's happened.

The sun peaked just over the smaller building in low tow. The sight made carver smile. He wished Merril could watch it with him, but he knew she was long asleep by now. Ever since they had found out –

Carver sprang back when the explosion came. He watched in horror as a small building by the entrance of docks came crumbling down. "Fenris!" he turned and went to go fetch the elf but he was already on the stairs, his face twisted in an expression of what could only be shock.

"Ava."

A/N ok so personally when I try to write Fenris having some sort of emotion I get so stumped since he rarely shows any! Lol but yeaaa ava still knows nothing but now… … comments, questions and concerns!


	18. Chapter 18

Denial chapter 18

The boat docked in the lower end of low town. Ava and Aveline ran through the streets trying to find any place that would offer them cover while they mapped out specifically what was happening.

Fires burned all around as they came to a stop at the edge of low town.

Off in the distance, she heard a shrill scream.

"Can you hear it?"Aveline drew her attention as she caught her breath. "The qunari are spreading out. Their attacking the city." She looked up into the district, more screams filled the air. "Why? What could they possibly hope to accomplish?"

Ava shook her head. "Your guess is as solid as mine at this point." She grabbed the wall to steady herself. The smell of the fires and the sounds of the screams made the world turn around her. Grasping her other hand, Aveline helped her to sit on the stone slab beside them.

"We need to do something… quickly, but we'll need some help."

"Saarebas!"

Both women turned to the stairs in front of them just as the qunari came rushing down at them.

"Help comes later!" Ava grabbed her stave and sent a fireball at the rushing Qunari, causing two of them to stagger backwards as flames caught on their bodies. Aveline rushed in cutting those two down easily as she made her way to the two behind them.

Four more rounded the corner of the stairs hurrying down to join their brethren in the battle. Ava sent a stone fist knocking one down as Aveline clashed with the two from before.

"There are too many!" Ava staggered back as one tried to bring his sword down on her. Ducking she did a small seep kick knocking him to the ground as she hurried to bring her stave up to block another sword. Her arms struggled against the wait of the creature and she couldn't move.

Suddenly blood splattered her face and the soldier fell. Dropping her hands she turned up to look at her savior. Fenris extended an arm to help her up. She grasped it gratefully, not ignoring the emotions that were running through her right now.

Looking to Aveline she saw the last opponent fall and both her and carver re-sheathing theirs blades.

"I see our qunari friends have taken a more aggressive stance." Fenris said as the other two came and joined their group.

"Thank you." Aveline said to the two men. "We would have been dead had you not come."

"Merrill?" Ava turned to her brother concerned emotions clear in her tone.

To her relief he nodded. "Safe in her home." He couldn't hide the relief from his face.

"So what is our plan?" she turned as Fenris spoke, looking at her expecting orders.

Right. So much for avoiding any conflict tonight.

Taking a deep breath to calm her ever turning stomach, she said "We need to get to the keep. Avoid any conflict that is unnecessary."

The others nodded in agreement. "Let's go…"

Aveline took lead, scouting for a path not blocked by flaming debris and such, while Carver searched the bodies of nearby citizens who had fallen to the qunari. Ava watched silently as he turned over the body of a young Fereldan man. One who she had seen in Anders's clinic not to long ago. She stared into his still open eyes as her brother searched for any identifying source. After several attempts of searching he gave up and closed the man's eyes, his lips moving in a silent prayer to the maker.

"He had a son." She whispered trying to remember who he was herself. But all she remembered was the little boy he held in his hands that day.

Fenris turned to her, curiosity clear on his face. "That man." She pointed to the body Carver had left minutes ago. "He has a son." Her voice shook as she tried hard to keep her composure. Fenris moved closer to her, blocking her field of vision. "To loose ones parents, at such an early age… I'd not wish it on anyone."  
Taking her hand, she watched as Fenris laced his fingers through hers. With his other hand, he tilted up her head and softly brought his lips to hers.

"Then, be careful my love." he spoke in such hushed tones she had almost missed his words. confusion and worry set upon her.

"Hawke! I found a pathway." Aveline's voice broke the trance that her lover had left her in. Slowly the group moved back together walking in a tight formation, expecting an attack at any moment.

Then she stopped.

Straining her ears Ava listened as they rounded the corner leading off to her uncle's hovel. The dark streets made it difficult to see but she could still hear a battle going on ahead. the sound of metal clashing on metal, the tearing of armor, the smell of blood. The others began to hear it too as they each equipped their blades, preparing to join into the fight.

Rounding the rest of the corner, they paused only seconds before the last qunari fell.

Ava watched as the man and woman sheathed their weapons and turned toward her party followed by a small mage.

The woman's long black ponytail flowed in the wind as her dark blue eyes scanned the heights for any lingering foes. And while she was ever vigilant, the man was not. He strode toward them with a smile spread widely across his face, his brown eyes shining with compassion.

"Right, then. Sorry about finishing them off. Out of all the things that could have happened today,a qunari attack was at the near bottom of my list." His fereldan accent was thick and easily recognizable.

Ava smiled. "Serves them right for challenging Grey Wardens."

The man smiled. "Ah so we have been noticed." He held out his hand. "My name is Alistor." Ava grasped it gratefully. "Pleasure. Perhaps you can be of assistance.."

"…..I wish we would be meeting under better circumstances but as it is, we cannot offer any more aid." His hand fell and the woman strode up. "Our priority is of a different sort." Her accent was smooth and clean, as was her apologetic smile.

"Diaena is right." They backed up slowly, returning the way Ava and her party just came from. They were heading to the docks.

"Is an invasion not a priority?" Ava ran after them slightly, falling short of colliding with Diaena.

"We are truly sorry, but we cannot speak about it. The wardens secrets are not ones to be taken lightly."

Alistor bowed his head , torn. "We cannot offer aid, but perhaps this could be of some assistance. It was a gift from a friend…" he turned to Diaena and she smiled brightly. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind me passing it along." He slipped the trinket in to Ava's hand and backed away. "May the Maker watch over you, my friend. May he watch over us all."

A/N ok sooo yea i had some trouble with this chapter since i started college and stuff finding time has been difficult but hey im here :) i think the next chapter will skip somethings but heyyyyyyy i got some cool ideas :) R&R


	19. Chapter 19

Denial chapter 19

"Here is you Viscount." As the doors opened, Ava and her party halted watching in horror as the Arishok made his way to the people, tossing Dumar's head softly. It rolled down the stairs, it's crown making the softest ring as it moved across the marble floor stopping at Ava's feet. She held back a gag as the Viscount's lifeless eyes stared up at her.

"YOU DARE! YOU ARE STARTING-" The Qunari soldier moved swiftly upon the noble taking his head in both hands and lifting his slim body off the ground.

"NO!" Ava screamed running to stop the creäture before the sickening crack filled the silent hall. Se stopped just before the stairs, looking up at the Arishok and his pacing figure.

"Shanedan, Hawke. I expected you." The Arishok looked at her quietly, watching as she struggled for control. she felt the fire lick at her fingers.

"You don not have to continue on. we can still work this out."

the Arishok shook his head. "For all your might, you are no different from these bas." his eyes shifted, scrutinizing the people who cowered in fear behind her." Look at them, like fat Dathras. they feed and feed and complain only when interrupted. You do not look up. you do not see that the grass is bare." he turned to Ava and scowled. "All you leave in your wake is misery."

"You're wrong." Her voice shook with anger.

"Then Prove your self Sarrabas!"

The qunari moved simultaneously from each side of her. Quickly she moved around sweeping the air around with her fingers. She felt the magic leave her fingers connecting with the qunari and lighting them up as they passed her.

Panic struck the hall as the nobles realized what was happening.

"I will not sit by idly while you try to control the lives of these people!"

"These bas need the certainty of the Qun! YOU ARE BLIND! I WILL MAKE YOU SEE"

She had almost no time to react. The Arishok had charged at her with a speed she had never seen before.

But as she waited for the pain, it never came. Instead she had heard the brief clashing of metal hitting metal and the slow shallow breathing of her lover in front of her.

"Fenris.." She had barely a breath to let out with his name.

"You will not harm her." Fenris spoke in hard cold words holding his own against the Arishok's axe. His body stood firm, glowing slightly from his anger.

"Elf, You will move and let this one fight her own or I will have you as well."

"I will Not." Pushing his sword forward, he sent the Arishok staggering back. He held his sword at the ready, his body glowing with anger. "As long as I breathe, her and her own will be protected. On my life I wear this." And with that he took a running charge at the Arishok, sweeping his sword across the marble as he moved, he brought the blade down upon him. The Arishok blocked it struggling to hold the awkward position he now held on the floor. "VINEK KATHRAS!"

The others needed no say. Aveline and Carver were fighting their own before Ava could even process what was happening. People were running out of the hall, trying to escape the blades that had already took so many.

"Sister!"

Ava's eyes shot over to Carver as he sliced through another qunari soldier.

She watched as him and Aveline continued to take down the qunari one by one, blood and gore staining their armor and blades.

In the far Corner Ava gazed in horror as Fenris struggled. He matched the arishok move for move blocking and dodging while still trying to go on the offensive. But he was tiring out she saw it in his face.

"You are weak elf." The Arishok brought his axe across his front attempting to pierce Fenris's torso. "You think as they do. You do not see." He brought his axe down causing Fenris to duck and bring his blade up in the ultimate opening. The arishok kicked him down, his sword falling from his grasp. "Your Love blinds you." Bringing his axe above his head, Ava felt her heart and stomach wretch. "NO!" Her hands moved fast sending the electric bolt at him full speed. Fenris took his chance as the Arishok shook from shock. Rising to his feet, he swiftly took his hand and plunged it into the Arishok's chest and grabbed hold of his heart. "No, it does not." He said as he increased his grip. "It makes me stronger." And with that he felt the heart speed up and contort under his fingers before exploding. the body fell from Fenris's blood dripping hands.

All around the room, weapons dropped the screams died down and her friends stood still.

Ignoring them, she ran to Fenris, his arms catching her in a tight embrace.

"It seems that would be twice that you have saved my life."

She leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. "Perhaps if you would stop putting it in danger."

Fenris chuckled his usual light chuckle. " You will be the death of me." Ava laughed and tried to move out of his grasp."And our child's." His words had her halt staring at nothing but his chest. Their child. No she refused to believe it but then again...

She thought back to how Anders had reacted the times she had passed out. The humor on his face. The words as he tried to tell her what he found in his examinations.

"I'm pregnant." she said in a hushed whisper. Shock over came her followed by a surge of joy. Bringing her hands to her stomach she used her magic to feel the tiny presence inside of her.

"Perhaps we should talk later with out the ears of others." Fenris turned his gaze and she followed his example, dropping her hands and moving in his embrace.

"It seems most of the Nobles made it out when the fighting began." Aveline stated re-sheathing her sword and approaching them, a tired Carver trailing behind her.

Around them bodies littered the floor, blood stained the walls. Her stomach churned at the sight.

"So many..." she whispered stepping out of his arms fully and walking toward the dead Arishok's body, his axe still slightly gripped in his dead fingers. "It could have all been avoided."

"Is it over?" Turning around, the party found Isabella standing on the edge of the battlefield followed closely by the knight commander and many of the nobles who had escaped.

"The city is saved, knight-commander." Aveline's voice was drowned out by the cheers of those present.

Sheathing her weapon, Meredith watched Ava closely her eyes flipping from her to the body beside her. "It seems Kirkwall has a new champion."

A/N so the next chapter will pick up only a few hours after this scene. as we see bella returned and hawke has come to learn the truth of her illness. any comments?


	20. Chapter 20

Denial chapter 20

"WHO KNEW?!" Ava stormed into Varric's suite in the hanged man without even thinking. It had only been a few hours since the end of the qunari attack and after seeing the remaining creatures back to their confinements on the docks she did not even hesitate on dragging Fenris with her to confront their other companions. The panic of her finding out the true reason way she was sick had begun to make her anxious and angry, which Fenris had to admit he found it quite attractive to see as something then her usual careful self. Ever since she had lost her mother she seemed to be more reserved and he hated that.

"Well. Obviously I knew." Anders crossed his hands as he leaned back into his seat in the corner, a casual smirk on his face. Ava turned a scowl on him. Fenris smiled and leaned back on the door frame. Yes he was greatly enjoying this.

"I will deal with you later." She growled at the man which only produced another laugh on his part. Carver snickered in the corner. Her face shot to his and she didn't miss a beat going over to him and slapping him on his arm. "This is not funny! How could you not tell me?!"

Caver held is hands up in defense, attempting to block any hits that came to his face. "We tried, sister." He grabbed her arms and his face turned serious. "Every time you came to us this month, injured, we tried to tell you, but you just shrugged us off."

Ava stared at her brother remembering how indeed she had run off earlier in the month ignoring Ander's pleas.

"Care to explain, Junior?" Varric perked up from the table, his eyes as well as Isabella's, Aveline's and Sebastian's were all on her. Only Merril seemed uninterested, quietly sipping her tea while rubbing her still growing belly. "Well, my, this is awkward." She smiled shyly

"You told her?!" Ava hit Carver one last time her anger getting the best of her.

"I figured she already knew. " Carver shrugged knowing it was knowing big deal.

"What in fucks sake is going on?" bella through her cards on the table realizing to even attempt to continue playing would be a waste of her time. And just when she was winning to.  
"Hawke is pregnant." Anders said rising from his seat and taking his glass. "I think I'll go and get another drink." He left the room watching with joy as Ava stared daggers at him. He shoved past Fenris causing the elf to growl and glow with anger. "The only reason you are still live is because she does not wish you dead. I would not change that if I were you."

Ander's waved his hand in the air ignoring Fenris's words as he moved to the bar.

Turning back Fenris saw everyone's eyes had not changed. They all sat wide eyed looking at both him and Ava. Merril and Carver were the only two not confused , instead their face's mirrored the awkwardness they felt with the situation.

Isabella was the first to break the silence. She began laughing so loud, Ava thought she was going choke over her drink. "You can't be serious?" she asked when she regain control. Her head flipped back and forth between her friend and her lover, disbelief clear on her face. Ava nodded.

She closed her mouth lost for words.

"My, my Hawke," Aveline rose and went to hug her friend. "Congratulations"

"Oh yes! Congrats." Bella leaned back and took her drink down in one shot.

"oh this is great!" Varric laughed "Perfect for my story. The child of the champion and her brood." Bella snickered.

"I do not brood." Fenris scowled at the rogues.

"Well hawke, I must say I am happy for the both of you." Sebastian took her hand and placed it to her lips. "May the Maker bless your child." Fenris watched Bella roll her eyes while Varric shook his head at the chantry boy's predictable behavior. Why someone like him would continue to occupy their time with their group he would never understand but he appreciated him.

"Thank you." Fenris spoke up and moved to stand behind Ava. "All of you. you have been more help to Ava then I could have hoped for, and to me as well. I could not have asked for more."

"Yes Fenris is right. Thank you all, especially for tonight." Ava smiled all traces of her earlier anger gone.

"Just please don't do anything that requires you to come to me for the next 9 months." Anders chimed in from behind, holding his glass in the same position Fenris had been in earlier.

Ava laughed "I'll try not to." She yawned. "But for now I think I shall retire." She turned to Fenris. "Walk me home?"

He gave a quick nodded.

They exited the hanged man and began walking toward high town both of them deep in thought.

"Tell what does one do when they stop running?" Fenris voice his thoughts as they slowly walked up the stairs. The question had taken her by surprise and she took a moment to think as the high town market came into view. "Well' one could always find a place to start over. A place to have roots."

He nodded in understanding. "Have you ever thought about returning to Fereldan?"

This she smiled at. "I will say, I have once thought about it. But no as of now I can't say that I want to return. Kirkwall has become my home." She smiled up at him stopping as they came to her manor door.

"So now tell me what do you want your future to be?" she looked up at him with curious filled eyes. Her curiosity made his heart jump. had he really been so secretive about how he felt about her? so many times he would fight with her, argue and it would only leave him wondering. Their interactions had left him wondering what he had planned? So many times he had thought about leaving Kirkwall. Leaving her and the rest of her companions to just move on with their lives. but when he found she wass pregnant with his child none the less, he realized what that may do to her. And then there was Today. he thought back to the fight with the Arishok. How he had just narrowly been able to protect her from what was sure to be a killing blow. the thought of loosing her made his heart ache. It was then that he knew truly what his future would be.

Gently he brought up his hand and caressed her face. " Child or not, What ever future there is to be had, I would walk into it gladly at your side." And with that he bent down and pressed his lips softly to hers. "I love you, Ava." he smiled, glad that he didn't lose her today and even happier to know that she too now knew the truth.

Ava smiled too. _This is going to be a long nine months. _Was her last thought before she became lost once again in her lover's kiss.

A/N I am truly not very fond of this chapter but I needed something somewhat normal and this is how it came out. I could not make Fenris look like a total ass, I'm sorry. the only reason he would stay would be because of hawke anyway XD But oh trust me the things I have planed to happen for act three will have people on edge… hopefully. Time to prove how good of a writer I am please review and comments welcomed. Any ideas that you would like me to consider don't be afraid to share them! I love the help! Next chapter will take place just before act three. Might have some possible conflicts I haven't decided yet XD anyway Thanks For all your support!


	21. Chapter 21

A/N much thanks to Gracie21 for helping me get through my writer's block. This is an all Fenris chapter as will be the next one. I know it's really short and im not very fond of it but I needed the filler lol sooo let me know what you think. The next chapter will be up very soon.

Denial chapter 21

Fenris left Ava's mansion quickly, wanting to pursue his own thoughts. Learning of Ava's pregnancy had his head spinning, especially seeing the way she accepted it.

His words to her were not a lie. He would gladly walk into any future to be had with her by his side. But having a child at a time like this. He shook his head clearing his mind of the possibilities that haunted him. Death and destruction followed Ava every day and now with being proclaimed the champion of Kirkwall, these things would only find them more. Could he really stick by her and allow her to go through all the dangers she did, knowing that one day he could quite possibly return to their child without her?

He turned the knob to his manor softly, slipping in through its crack and letting softly close behind him. Immediately he head for his cellar door. It was a good thing he had stocked his wine cellar. He felt as if he would need it tonight.

Taking a bottle of Antivan wine, he uncorked it and began gulping it as he made his way back upstairs to his room.

His thoughts turned in his head. Certainly this child would cause them problems, of that he would be certain. But he could do nothing about it. He remembered the joy on Ava's face hearing his words tonight.

He silently contemplated leaving her, but quickly shaking the thought away. That would do nothing but put more pressure on her.

Taking another big gulp, he continued on his thought processes when he heard the door opened downstairs.

"Hey Broody." He heard Varric's voice boom from the main hall. Growling Fenris rose from his seat leaving his bottle and thoughts behind him.

"What do you want, Dwarf?" he made no attempt to hid the anger in his eyes.

"Woah, there." Varric rose his hands and laughed, trying to break the tension. Looking up he saw the annoyance in Fenris's face. "Look, I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Why would I not be?" the elf growled pushing his body off the railing to better watch his visitor.

"Well, given the recent events, I figured you might be having thoughts… of a certain kind."

"That is none of your concern." With that Fenris turned around and went back into his room, listening intently, making sure his visitor had left. Taking the bottle in hand again, he soon became lost in his thoughts.

A/N so as we see Fenris is beginning to question things and some of their companions have noticed. But hey Varric sees all! Lol the next chapter is skipping about 8 or 9 months ahead because lets be honest why the hell would hawke fight while she's pregnant? Lol read and review!


	22. Chapter 22

Denial chapter 22

Fenris moved quietly through the nobles of high town eager to get to the hanged man before he could take his anger out on some one. With Ava indisposed, a lot of Kirkwall's duties had fell on to him and the rest of her companions. Notes asking for favors and requesting assistance came to her mansion regularly never leaving any of them short of work. Even Aveline had come to him and Isabella requesting aid.

And on top of it all, the mages grew restless as did the Templars. Each party fought and bickered only to be shushed by Meredith who had taken the last nine months as an opportunity to show her power. It sickened him.

Turning down the stairs he descended in to low town. He had always enjoyed it more than any other part of the city. The people here did not hide behind the fake problems of politics and money as such nobles did.

Finally making it to the tavern, Fenris immediately walked up to Varric's suite not surprised to find Isabella and Sebastian entertaining the rogue. The three had often spent their time together being the only three rogues of the group. At Fenris's arrival they all looked up from their game. Isabella was the first to speak, her grin wicked and making Fenris feel even more uncomfortable then he already had.

"Well then, has our little elf come to join in the fun?" she asked winking and leaning back in her seat.

Fenris growled.

Varric laughed. "leave him alone, Rivaini. Fenris has been through more than any of us could imagine this last week." Putting his cards down Varric looked at him expectantly. "So tell me broody, was the dragon green or purple?"

"There was no Dragon." Fenris spat taking a seat across from his friends.

"Yeah and there wasn't a cavern of escaped blood mages either." The dwarf picked up his cards and began playing once again. Fenris signaled the barmaid to bring him a drink.

"How long more do you think Hawke will be…. Out of reach?" the prince asked eyeing the dwarf and the pirate as they cheated their way through the game. Shaking his head he reached over and slipped a card from under Isabella's leg.

"Oh come on! Is that the only way to get you to touch me?" Bella snatched the card from his hand and placed it back in her breast band. Fenris couldn't resist the urge to smirk.

"At least if your going to cheat," Sebastian leaned over toward Bella's ear. "Do it right." He whispered in a seductive tone causing Bella to vibrate with shivers.

"Completely unfair." She whined making her move in the game.

Varric and Fenris laughed.

The maid brought Fenris his ale and he gulped it down eagerly, completely aware of the eys that watched him.

"It has been a long day." He stated slamming his empty mug on to the table.

"That's an understatement." They all turned when they heard his voice. Anders stood in the door frame, holding it for support. He was out of breathe and shaking. He had clearly ran from wherever to find them. Curiosity perked up with in them all.

"It's hawke."

Fenris's eyes grew wide and he dashed out of the tavern before Anders could explain any further, the others running steps rang clear behind him. Without stopping they ran to the Estate.

"Ahhh." Hawke's screams echoed once more from her room overhead. But by now the sound only made Fenris pace faster. Emotions flooded through him. He was worried, nervous, angry, concerned and many more that he dare not wish to acknowledge. He had left the questions he had those months ago alone. Not thinking of them at all once he made his decision. He could not leave, not without feeling guilty about the change he had helped bring into Ava's life. But he could not help the feeling he was getting right now….

He shook it off. Instead he continued to pace across the floor of Hawke's manor, in front of the fire place, while the other either watched him or stared to the door upstairs.

Merril and Anders were tending to Hawke, The blood mage because of her experience in her clan, The Abomination because of his healing. Fenris disliked both of them and couldn't help when his eyes darted to the door every few minutes

The rest of them had already been there for hours. Shortly after Anders had gotten him, Isabella, Varric and Sebastian nearly four hours ago, Aveline and Donnic had come led by a weary looking Carver.

"AHHH." Another loud scream echoed through the halls. They all turned as the heard the door swing open. "FENRIS!"

He did not hesitate. The minute his name left her lips, he dashed up the stairs and into the room.

What he saw made him freeze.

The scene played before his eyes in slow motion.

Ava smiled at him weakly from the bed. Anders was smiling down brightly as Merril cradled a small bundle in her hands. She moved to him slowly, unwrapping the tiny child. He immediately noticed the child had Ava's hair color mixed with his green eyes and pointed ears. He felt himself begin to smile as the mage moved closer to him. And that's when he saw it. The blanket had moved just a little, just enough for him to see the tiny shinning marking the adorned her chest. He knew it all too well. His smile dropped and he felt the anger flow to his face. He did not hide it. He couldn't. He looked past Merril, still holding the child, and saw Ava. He face dropped when she saw the anger in his eyes. He turned his eyes away quickly, refusing to meet her eye.

Instead he turned away and left the manor.

Ava couldn't help the tears that left her eyes as she saw the look that Fenris had when he saw their daughter. He had saw the tattoo. And she knew what it meant.

The realization made her begin to sob. Once again the man she loved had left her.

A/N ok since Fenris leaving in the game never made sense to me I thought giving him a better reason would be a good thing. Well at least I think it's a better reason lol. Anyway we welcome Necarrii to the world now. Now the next chapters I have are still in the planning stage but since I have had some help (Thank You very much Gracie21 ) I have gotten past my major writer's block. Hopefully . but fair warning, the next chapters will take place sometime in the winter, just to show a little more of Necarrii, but I promise I won't give away too much. Anyway lets see how this goes. Any guess as to where Fenris is? Come on my friends! Comments, comments, comments! 3


	23. Chapter 23

Denial chapter 23

"Leave this place." She stared at the slaver with cold, hard eyes. "And if I ever happen to here of your return to Kirkwall, I will not be as merciful." Ava turned, her robes making a snap as she proceeded to leave the cavern, her companions closely behind her.

Everyone was quiet until they were out.

"What's with the temper, Princess?" Varric questioned as his made his way to match her pace.

"Please, do tell me Varric, if you want a nest of slavers living outside the city." She said with a bit of anger. Varric stopped as did Ava. She didn't have to turn around to see the look on his face.

"I'm sorry." She said not turning to meet his gaze. "I was hoping for something I knew I shouldn't have. I lost my temper with you when I know you're not to blame." She paused and took a deep breathe, feeling tears of frustration bubble in her eyes. "I'll see you all back in the city." She stormed off, leaving her three friends behind her.

She turned along the path, then took it's fist turn off, needing the walk back. She knew the wounded coast almost as well as she had known Lothering. She knew how and where to move to add the few extra minutes she needed; nobody would notice.

She had no idea how much today could've affected her. It's been three years. Three years, and whenever she still heard of a slaver hold, her hopes would fly. She didn't know who she was hoping to find. Slavers how had hunted him. The ones who he hunted. Him himself. She didn't know but the little bit of hope was all that kept her strong these days.

Sebastian had called on him many times after that day, but to no avail. Bella had even broken in. She found nothing. Him, all his things, they were gone. The place had been as empty as when they had first helped him to find Danarius. But she couldn't believe it. Not until she saw it for herself.

She shook her head at the memory and any other thoughts she had. The past was the past and she needed to look ahead at the future.

The viscount's seat still remained unclaimed, although many had wished she put her name into the pool. But she couldn't. Hearing Meredith's again might drive her to something she didn't want to do. The thought made her smirk lightly.

She turned left and the gates came into view as did her friends. She heard the rogues laughing as they approached the hill she descended. Bella turned up to her first, noting the smirk she still wore.

"Hey, kitten. All better now?" the others turned, both Sebastian and Varric smiled.

"Oh come, now, Hawke. Wicked grace is no fun without someone aside from choir boy catching our cheating." Ava laughed.

"Fine. But I have to go home first." She stated taking the lead and smiling at her merry band of misfits.

* * *

"Mama!" Ava bent down and received her daughter's embrace with open arms smiling a twirling her. Once she stopped spinning she placed a kiss on her cheek and allowed the other's to say hello.

"How's my tiny Hawke?" Varric said as he poked her in the arm. She giggled and held his arms open for him. Ava gave her over quickly seeing Anders descending the stairs. "Stay with your uncle, sweetie."

Varric acknowledge her words and walked over to the library with the others, keeping the toddler occupied.

"Are you all ok?" Anders asked after taking Ava into a tight embrace.

"Yeah, we're all fine. What's a fight with a slaver these days?" she smiled under his gaze but the serious look did not leave his face. "Did you find anything? About him?"

Ava tried to hide her disappointment. Instead she replaced it with anger. "Why? Do you think I did it for him?"

"Did you?"

"Why do you even have to-"

"Did you do it for –"

"I did it for her!" She screamed, point to the room that held her daughter. " I did it because I don't want slavers even near the city she breathes in! I did it because I'm here and he's not!" Tears left her eyes before her blow out was even fiinshed. By the time she was done, they had become full on sobs.

Anders reached for her wanting to offer comfort but before he could, she heard a sniffling in the corner.

"Mama?" Necarrii quivered in the doorway of the library, her friends behind her looking speechless.

Anders let his hand fall and he smiled, waling to Necarrii as Ava wiped away her tears.

"Hey there, Sweet heart. Want come with daddy?" he leaned down and held his arms open for her. She smiled and happily ran to him.

Ava walked over to them, trying her best to smile. "I'm sorry, baby. Mama's had a rough day."

She smiled and stroked her head. "I'm going to go with your uncles and aunt, okay and your going to stay here with daddy?"

"I want to go." She mumbled the words and reached her arms out to Ava.

Ava took her arms and shook her head. "Not tonight." She kissed her on the head as she frowned in defeat.

"I'll be home later." She tiptoed up and gave Anders a small kiss on the lips. Her mind shifted with memories. Her feet fell quickly, but she managed to keep her stability.

Anders smiled down to her. "Be safe, love."

She smiled sadly up at him cupping his face in her hand. "I will."

She felt the pang of her heart as she walked away.

A/N so I kinda put a little twist on things I thought it would be interesting. Hmmm I wonder where Fenris went? Anyway let me know what you guys think! Oh and SEPCIAL SHOUT OUT FOR ANEMONE IRIS WRITER OF THE ROAD AHEAD! IT'S A SUPERNATRUAL FANFIC FOR ALL YOU SAM AND DEAN LOVERS! Check it out ;)


	24. Chapter 24

Denial chapter 24

Ava shivered as she entered the Gallows. She took her steps carefully watching as the Templar's eyes found her. She hadn't really been here since speaking with Thrask about his daughter. It relieved her so much when Carver had volunteered to do any of the runs to the Gallows after that. She would never have to step in the blighted place again. But not today. No. Meredith had requested her personally so she was forced to come, leaving Necarrii in Sebastian's hands.

Everyone already knew she was an apostate; her, Anders and Merrill. And she knew it was only her title of Champion that saved them. Especially with the way many of the Templars were looking at her now.

She sighed and moved to the side, entering the Gallows in search of Meredith's office. She looked around feeling more lost than ever, that is until she saw a familiar face.

"Knight-captain." She bowed and smiled as Cullen approached her.

"Champion." He returned her smiled with one of his own. "It is a Different sight to see walking about here. Is your brother ill?" he asked genuinely worried. Cullen had always been a good friend to Carver.

She nodded." He is fine. I was actually summoned by Meredith, but I seem to be a tad bit lost."

Cullen smiled. He pointed up to the left of her. "Up there through the door, first door to your left."

"Thank you Cullen, you just made this dreaded trip that much quicker."

"My pleasure, Champion." They bowed and went their separate ways, Ava following his directions quickly already eager to leave this prison.

She came to Meredith's door and knocked.

"Enter."

Slowly she opened the door and poked her head through. The Knight-Commander peered up from her papers. "Ah, Champion." She smiled but something about it made Ava feel even more uneasy as she closed the door behind her.

Ava didn't respond. Instead she crossed her arms and moved on with her business. "What is the reason you called me here, Knight-Commander?"

Meredith rose from her seat and turned to the window behind her. "It pains me to ask, but I require the assistance of you and your companions." She spoke with disgust and disdain.

"And why might that be?" Ava wished she just spoke, instead of treading around in the water.

"There was a break out. Three mages escaped the circle; an elf named Huon, and two humans, Evelina and Emile Du Launcet."

Ava looked at her with hatred. "What makes you think you can just call on me when your Templars fail?" she all but spat the words; leaning over Meredith's desk to glare ate her still turned back.

"Because, Champion," Meredith turned to face her, a wicked grin splayed across her face. "One word and I throw away the key."

Ava scoffed. "You will just arrest the Champion and her companions? What would you tell the people who you so rightfully protect?" Ava felt nothing. Any fear she had before was gone. There was nothing Meredith could tell the people. She was their champion. Their ray of hope in a world at war. Without her the city would fall into chaos under Meredith.

But the woman continued to smile. "You miss interpret my words, Champion. " Ava felt her heart begin to race as Meredith's smile widen. "You and you companions may be untouchable but your daughter is not."

Ava's eyes widen. How did Meredith know? Her heart quickened and she felt herself sway.

"You have gone all these years, keeping the truth from the people. I'm sure the people wouldn't care if you were harboring a young elven apostate."

"You leave her out of this!"

"I made it my duty to protect this city and as Champion it is my right to call upon you! You brought this upon yourself. Now make your choice: will you round up my mages or send your daughter to the Gallows?" Ava stared at Meredith, hatred pumping through her. She could feel the fire that threatened to leave her fingertips.

"I hope you burn Meredith." She whispered fiercely. She turned and left to round up her companions.

A/N a short chapter but its what came to mind at this point. anyway let me know what you guys think. i should have the next chapter up within the next couple of days :)


	25. Chapter 25

Denial chapter 25

Evelina screamed and Ava watched in horror as her body began to contort, succumbing to the magic inside of here. The children disappeared behind her as she and Anders drew their staves while Carver and Sebastian drew their own weapons. When the transformation became complete Ava focused her eyes and sent a fireball at the abomination that Evelina had become. The creature staggered back slightly before regaining itself. It's hands rose and magic poured from its fingers, summoning shades and other creatures. She watched as one by one Caver picked the off with his sword, while she and Sebastian focused on Evelina. Sebastian sent a volley of arrows around the creature, several of them hitting their mark as Ava made her way around Evelina. When she stood behind the creature, she began using the words her father taught her. The one to dispel a demon. She carefully focused her magic into her stave and sent the flames at the demons back. She smiled as the creature screamed in pain, the flames not only burning it's body, but dispelling any magic that may be left in its wake. When the body began to crumble, she halted her attack, watching as the ashes fell into a pile before them. she was still smiling as she walked up to it, Taking anything that she found useful. She had peered up for only a minute but I minute was all she needed. She stopped her crouch and froze as she met Anders's gaze. He was upset and anger but most of all he felt betrayed.

A rustling startled out of the trance his gaze held over her. She turned to find the two young boys who were in Evelina's care standing behind her. The oldest moved up to speak but Ava held up her hand to stop him. She reached into her pockets and handed him three sovereigns. "This should help you out." She smiled down at the boy who looked at her with wide appreciative eyes. "Thank you, Serrah." And they both ran off. Ava turned to leave to but she could still feel Anders staring at her. As she took her first step she noticed no one move. Carver and Sebastian both looked behind her waiting for Anders.

"Are you just going to stay there and stare? Or would you like to tell me what I've done wrong this time?" she didn't turn to look at him but she knew he wore his classic sarcastic smile.

"You are a hypocrite you know?"

"Oh really?" she spun around and faced him, sarcastic curiosity shinning on her face. "How so?"

"You talk all this about mages; swear to stand beside them and yet here you are."

"You don't know anything so shut it." She turned and began to walk off.

"Who would have thought that mighty Champion would be nothing more than the knight-commander's bitch. "

Ava stopped and turned back to Anders, bringing her hand right across his face, the slap echoing off the buildings of DarkTown. She stood there as he turned his face back to hers, rubbing where she had just hit him, a look of shock clear on his face.

"Don't you ever accuse me of being a hypocrite! I always-always stick by my word!"

"Then why?" he spoke the words carefully, threatening her with them. She hadn't planned on telling him the truth. She hadn't plan on telling anyone except for those who already knew. She sank back from Anders, thoughts racing in her mind.

Slowly she spoke the words. "She threatened Necarrii."

All three of her companions turned to face her, shock and fear clear on their faces.

"But does that mean-?" Carver looked at her questioningly and she nodded. He sank back and ran a hand through his hair, worry and fear clear on his face.

Anders looked back and forth between his lover and her brother, his eyes trying to decipher the secret he knew they shared.

"What aren't you telling me, Ava?" he grabbed her arm but she kept her head down.

He growled in anger. "HAWKE!" he shook her and she looked up just in time to see the blue glow leave his eyes. Anger over took her features. She took her arm back from his hold and glared at him. "Nothing you not telling me,_love."_ She spoke the last words with harsh sarcasm and turned to leave Anders where he stood. He watched her retreating figure as it took the stairs up into the docks.

"Are you daft?" Carver broke him out of a trance, pushing him as he and Sebastian ran after the unstable Hawke.

She sat by the cliffs her legs hanging off of the edge, waves crashing on the rocks below her. Beside her sat her robes and under armor. She smiled as the wind blew across her face. she had come to her place heated. Mad at Anders for wanting to know things he shouldn't. Frustrated with herself for allowing her to be so easily used by Meredith. She should have never allowed her to know about Necarrii but she couldn't just lock her daughter away like so many other parents had done. Magic was a gift, not a curse and she wanted her daughter to know that. But she had made her promise to never use magic without her present. Gift or not, Ava did not want her daughter being condemned like so many others. The circles were becoming more and more unstable each day. It seemed only right to withhold the truth. To claim she was an elven orphan she had found in the mountains. No one would ever think she was her daughter, she had to many of her father's features. His soft pale skin, his shinning green eyes.

She closed her eyes and smiled as the happier memories came through.

"You seem much better." She opened her eyes and looked up to find Sebastian standing over her smiling. She laughed and patted the ground next to her.

"How on earth were you able to find me?" she asked as he removed his armor and took a seat beside her.

"Oh Hawke, I've known about this place for years." He laughed it off and turned out to the waves.

"You scared us when you went off like that. Carver is still searching for you."

"You don't need to worry-"

"But we do, Hawke." He averted his gaze and stammered out his next question. "If you don't mind my asking, what are you hiding form Anders?"

Ava turned from him and looked back out to the water. She hated being in it, but the sound that it gave as it crashed against the rocks below brought her to relax. Taking a deep breathe she spoke her words carefully. "Necarrii is a mage."

Sebastian didn't not react. He merely turned and looked out into the ocean with her.

"Is that why he left?"

Ava froze for a moment and then nodded, pulling her knees up to her chin. "She began showing signs not too soon after she was born. Little things; pulling her teddy, turning her mobile."

"But how? At such a young age? I have never heard of such a thing?"

A tear streamed down her eye. "It's a side effect of the lyrium. You have seen her tattoo yes?"

Sebastian knew she spoke of Necarrii's strange birth mark. The symbol had been a mysterious to all of them when they noticed it.

He nodded softly.

"The lyrium sped up the magic within her."

"And somehow Meredith knows of her?" Ava nodded again.

Sebastian stood quiet for a moment thinking no doubt of what was just said. "Who else know of her?"

Ava shook her head. "Only Merril and Carver."

"I am honored you chose to confide in me." He turned and smiled at her as she did the same. Carefully she rose and held out her hand. "Let's go. I'm sure Carver's going to have a fit when he finds you found me over an hour ago. "

Sebastian grabbed her hand and lifted himself up. "His anger is nothing compared to yours, my friend."

"The entire bloody city!" Carver screamed as he entered her mansion. She just rolled her eyes and continued inside as Sebastian tried to reason with him. They had tried to find him earlier only to give up and wait for him at the house. He had in fact been standing in front waiting for him.

She walked through the sitting room in to the main hall only to find Bodhan speaking with a very tall elven mage. The mage acknowledge her as she stopped, smiling. Bodahn stopped his conversation and scurried up to her.

"Mistress, Serrah Mirena has a message from the first enchanter. She insisted it was important so I let her stay."

"That's quite alright, Bodahn. Would you take my brother and Sebastian into the kitchen to eat. I will follow shortly."

Bodhan nodded and lead the two men out of the room while she and the mage spoke. She removed her hood to reveal beautiful golden hair piled neatly on top of her head in a bun. Her golden eyes shown with wonder. Taking the sides of her robe she bowed.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Champion."

"Thank you. Now, what may I help you with?"

Mirena's face became serious. "I have come to inform you of a meeting taking place tonight in high town."

Ava leaned on her desk, her curiosity only slight.

"They wish to over throw Meredith." Ava rolled her eyes. "Is that such a bad thing she whispered pushing herself off the desk. The elf continued. "Be that as it may, First enchanter Orsino wishes that you would look into it to avoid further confrontation with Meredith."

Orsino was trying very hard to get on Meredith's good side. And if this does ring true, stopping it could put a stop to the tension between the Templars and mages if only for a little while.

"Tonight then."

**A/N again probably not what people think but I needed a chapter to explain things before I make Hawke go all crazy like. Anyway I see many people are hoping to see Fenris come back into the story and I can tell you that what I have planned may sate you guys for now **** anyway let me know what you guys think of this little chapter and Hawke and Sebastian's little bonding moment.**


	26. Chapter 26

Denial chapter 26

Ava watched as the last Templar fell, an arrow protruding deeply from within his back. She replaced her stave on her back and proceeded to search the bodies of the surprising meeting.

"It would seem that the Mages are now working with the Templars." Sebastian piped up replacing his bow on his back and taking up the search with Ava.

"And the award for most obvious goes to…" Varric spoke sarcastically while he and carver watched the entrance for anymore combatants.

They had stumbled upon the meeting only minutes ago, being attacked by Templars and Mages on site. Many of them had gotten away but Ava was hoping to find something that might provide them with their new location.

"Here." Sebastian strode up to her as she stood up from the body of the dead enchanter. He held out a note for her.

She took it from her hand and began skimming it over looking for any useful information.

"They are meeting with more at the docks." Sebastian informed her before she reached the endd of the note.

"The docks?" Carver looked behind him, waiting to see his sister's course of action. "If we leave now, we could be back home before sun rise." Ava turned up to face him. She gave a quick nod and moved ahead sending a fireball behind to dispose of the bodies.

The others looked at her. "Orsino wanted to keep this quiet and that's exactly what he'll have." She moved on to the stairs descending into low town, leading to the docks.

She had had enough of today. Meredith holding her daughter's freedom over her head had only caused her to hold on to her daughter's secret even tighter than. And Anders.

She turned down the corner, her companions quite footsteps following behind her.

Anders had been the last straw. Calling her the knight-commander's bitch and then demanding to know what she was hiding from him as if he didn't hide his own secrets from her. She knew as well as the others that Anders was no lingering how he used to be, but she couldn't do anything about it until she knew what he was hiding.

They came upon the docks quickly, the sun just peaking over the horizon. They moved swiftly and silently, not wanting to draw the attention of any possible early morning workers.

Ava easily found Gardibali's warehouse. She turned the knob and her and her companions carefully made their way through.

"I told you she was hunting us!" the mage shouted as Ava and her companions ran through the door, weapons in hand.

"Keran?" Ava let her guard down slightly, wondering what the young Templar had been doing her with these people. But before she could ask questions he sunk back into the shadows as more mages and Templars flowed from the rooms above. "To arms!" Ava quickly responded sending a fireball to the closest group, their bodies immediately being engulfed by her flames. Carver jumped into battle, hacking and slashing at any enemy that dared come to close to his sister. Behind her, Sebastian and Varric sent arrow after arrow into the archers on the balcony.

Hacking through the last Templar, Carver made for the mage, only to be thrown back as he casted his protective circle around him.

Ava growled as Sebastian rushed to help her brother. Focusing all her anger, she sent fireball after fireball at the mage, weakening his shields. When he finally staggered back and the force field fell, Ava dropped her stave and called on spirit, trapping the mage in place. She walked up to him slowly, picking up the dagger left by one of the now dead Templars. She could see the fear in the man's eye.

"What was the nature of this meeting?" she held the knife to his throat as he struggled against the spirit restrains.

"I told them not to do it! I swear!" Ava turned to find Keran rejoining them. His eyes fell to the dagger she held in her hand.

"If I knew you were the one they were talking about, I'd have warned you. I don't hold well with kidnapping, not after what I went through. I'd never have let them kidnap anyone I knew was one of yours."

She looked at Keran confused, only certain words making in to her ears.

"What are you talking about?"

Keran sank back a bit, looking down before he faced her gaze again. "They kidnaped someone from your estate last night. An elven girl." Ava felt her eyes widen, and adrenaline began pumping through her.

Beside her Varric and Sebastian cursed. It was carver that took action. He ran up to Keran and grabbed him by the collar. "WHERE DID THEY TAKE HER?!" he shook Keran, causing himto stutter his words. "I-I D-don't know!" carver growled at him and let him fall to the floor.

Ava quickly turned taking matters into her own hands. Fueled by her adrenaline, she held the knife closer to the mages face. a thin line of blood began to show. "Where is she?"

"I tell you and we all die." The mage began struggling once again. She took the dagger and plunged it into his right hand.

"AHHHHH!" he writhed in pain as she began twisting it, watching the blood spill out from the wound.

"The coast! They- they took her to the coast, just off the mountainside." She smiled coldly and removed the dagger.

"Thank you." she brought the dagger across his throat. As soon as blood began pouring out, the spirit trap faded, leaving the mage, gurgling and gasping for air as he bled out.

"Champion.." but she didn't stay. As soon as she grabbed her stave, Ava ran, praying that she wasn't to late.

**A/N so another set up chapter. It seems the deeper I get into the story the more Ava seems to loose who she once was. But what can you expect when you're the champion of Kirkwall. The next chapter may take me a little more time but I'm trying to make it worthwhile. Lol **

**FAN QUESTIONS: These are questions I plan to ask the fans about what direction they think the story should go. **

**So this chapter's question: how do you guys see Fenris coming back into Ava and Necarrii's life?**

**PM answers! If I use any ideas I promise ill give credit where it's do! Thanx so much for reading guys!**


	27. Chapter 27

Denial chapter 27

Ava ran out the city, her companions close behind her. The place the mage had spoken about was not far from the gates. She could feel the hum of magic that hung in the air.

She slowed her pace as she came to the turn off. Crouching down she peered over the rocks at the small sandy cliff below. She could hear the waves crashing below.

"What are we going to do, Sister?" Carver came up crouching behind her, while the others stood safely back and out of sight. She thought for a moment, mapping out the best tactical root.

She turned back and went with carver to join the others on the path.

"Can you two get in position up there?" she pointed to Varric and Sebastian, showing the far ledge that circled to the right of the camp.

"We're on it, Hawke." Bother archers left to take their places. She turned to her brother, as he drew his sword. "Let's show them what happens when they take on of our own." Ava nodded overwhelmed by the amount of loyalty her friends and brother had shown her. No doubt there would be blood magic used, but none of them had turned away.

She grabbed her stave and led her brother down the winding path leading to the group of people

"Champion!" she and carver stopped as two figure turned to acknowledge their presence.

"Thrask." She faltered as the Templar showed his face. Her eyes darted to the figure beside him. "Mirena."

"And you believed I spoke lies, Thrask." The elf lowered her hood to reveal the rest of her face. A dark look clouded her features. "She is a spy for Meredith!"

Thrask shook his head. "I suppose it was too much to hope you wouldn't have come here. Though I can't understand why you would choose to side with Meredith now. You were the one who showed me we could stand up to her."

Ava retook her stance. "Are you daft? I would never work for Meredith!" Anger fueled her power. Her stave parked to life as the magic began to flow through it one again.

"She lies!" another mage appeared behind Thrask. She immediately realized it was Grace, the mage from the fallen StarkHaven circle. "She will have us all killed to appease her master." Grace spat at her and Ava narrowed her eyes.

"Please champion. It is Meredith we must fight against."

"Release my daughter." She spoke the words fiercely, staring at the people. "I have no reason to be here aside from rescuing her."

"Now, Now, Champion." Mirena moved up clearing her view and showing her daughter. Necarrii sat bound beside one of the other mages, a knife held close to her throat. Tears marked her face and fear shown in her eyes. " I am quiet sure Tevinter will pay handsomely for this particular elven mage." Mirena moved back towards Necarrii. Ava watched in silence as the mage bent down and brushed her fingers across her face. Necarrii jumped away from her touch.

"DON'T TOUCH HER!" she felt the fire at her finger tips, her eyes glowing with power as it had those many years before, but she didn't act.

Mirena smiled. "To be born with Lyrium running through your veins. Yes I'm quite sure they would compensate nicely for this wonderful little catch." Mirena stood up again.

"Getting you here was easy then I had expected champion. Your precious little girl at home with no more than a guard dog. How stupid are you?"

"You set me up!"

"Why of course. After speaking with my little Grace over here," she approached Grace and placed a light hand on her shoulder. "We have decided that this plight would be better without a self-righteous bitch such as you."

"This was not the plan, Mirena!" Thrask turned on the mages. "No one needs to dies! Release the hostage!"

"NO!" Grace moved in front of Thrask, removing her stave from behind her. "The child dies! And then the champion!" grace moved so quickly, Ava didn't even see what she had done until she had done it. She took the edge of her stave and quickly sliced her stomach. Magic flowed from her blood as it spilled on to the sand before them. not wasting a breathe, she sent a pulsing wave at Thrask, lifting him in to the air and crushing him slowly.

"Meredith! What do I care for Meredith! I am here for the Champion, nothing more!" her words ended in a sick laugh as she flung Thrask's body at the rock nearby.

That's when the battle began. Carver wasted no time, running in and taking care of the Templars with each swing of his sword. Varric and Sebastian began raining down arrows at the mages, having them fall before they could even unleash an attack.

Ava looked ahead of her at grace. Quickly she cast a circle of fire imprisoning them before she could escape. The other mage smiled at her sadistically. "I know you feel it, Champion. The power that runs through your veins." Ava spun as she avoided Grace's stone fist, sending a fireball right back at her.

"Why not give in? I know you feel it." Her words became loud, as if they were not surrounded by the sounds of battle. "I can feel your desire. The desire to protect your daughter. After all she is all you have left of him." Ava froze.

"Give into the power." The whispers drew closer; she could feel a breath on her neck. "Give into the power and he will come back." Ava stayed there, frozen in her stance, her aura radiating flames.

"You can do it." The voice whispered.

"No." she whispered to herself. Closing her eyes she focused her power. "I will not give in to you, Demon!" she opened her eyes and unleashed her spirit, causing Grace to fall back into the stand.

"Die,Witch!" she sent a fireball at the struggling figure.

A screamed echoed as her body began to burn. Slowly the flames around her died.

"Now champion," Ava turned as Mirena's voice came into play. The elf held Necarrii by the arm, dragging her as she struggled. The elf smiled at her and held the blade to her arm. "One wrong move and your daughter will forever under my spell." Ava made to step but then stopped, knowing the threat of blood magic.

"You wouldn't dare."

The elf gave her a cocky eye, and then sliced her hand. Tendrils of blood floated up, swirling themselves into a tiny ball. The elf smiled again. Necarrii screamed as the elf shoved her towards Ava. She fell to the floor, crying. Ava ran to her.

"This is your end champion." Mirena focused more of her magic, it's dark energy making Ava stagger and spin as she lifted Necarrii.

"DIE!" Ava tripped as she felt the pulse of the mages energy. She quickly slung her body over Necarrii, hoping to protect her. This was it this was the end and she knew it. She Held Necarrii tighter waiting for the enivitable. But in never came.

"HOlY SHIT…" Ava heard Varric's voice as he came down from the cliff, followed closely by Sebastian's footsteps. She ignored her companions, moving her body so that she could see her daughter. She was unconscious. A tear a blood ran down her head, which Ava immediately healed.

Sebastian knelt beside her, "Is she all right?" there was a slight change in his voice. Ava nodded. She sat up right allowing Sebastian to take Necarrii in his arms.

"What happened?" she asked looking at Sebastian for details but he merely looked at her and pointed to the cliff behind her, where her brother and Varric still stood quietly. Ava turned expecting to see anything but what she saw. She instantly felt the emotions flood back, but none that she could pick put aside from confusion.

Confusion because there was Fenris, standing above Mirena's body, sword covered in blood.

**so i have this chapter done which was planned from the very beginning of the story. thank you to those who have sent in there PMs and i promise i will have the next chapter up hopefully within the next couple of hours. i'm just on a roll this weekend ;) anyway now time to explain why fenris left. and oh boy is he in for a big surprise with anders XD**


	28. Chapter 28

Denial chapter 28

Sebastian ran upstairs quickly with Necarrii in his arms, followed closely by Varric. Carver had gone to the clinic to fetch Anders. Even though Ava had managed to heal her cut, she wanted him to look at her more closely.

"You call on the abomination. Is that wise?" Ava stopped. Fenris's voice still seemed like a dream to her, causing her heart to race. She had so many questions for him but she could not ask them. her anger made it impossible. "He has been more help then you have these last three years." She didn't turn to face him, not wanting to see any anger he might have toward her. So when he finally spoke, his tone surprised her.

"Ava…I" he was nervous. She could tell he didn't know what to say, and that infuriated her more. Turning on spot, she strode up to the elf and smacked him almost as hard as she smacked Anders earlier that night. A spark of anger flashed in his eyes as he turned his face back to her but she didn't care. She stood her ground.

"I deserve that."

"NO SHIT! " she hit him again hard in the stomach like carver had taught her causing him to stagger back a step. "You leave me nearly three years ago, with your daughter, and expect everything to be ok? She was almost fucking killed! Almost killed because of a curse you brought upon her!"

"Do not blame this on me!"

"Oh OK. Then let's blame this on me. I am the mage after all!" she turned to the library looking to get away from him but he followed. " How was I supposed to know?!"

"YOU LEFT US! YOU LEFT US AND NEVER EVEN-"

"I NEVER LEFT!" Fenris grabbed her shoulders and brought her face closer to his, so close that his next words were barely even a whisper. "I never left. I stayed, out of sight, protecting you. Protecting her." He let his hands fall from her shoulders but she stood frozen, staring at him. "What do you mean?"

"I never left." He shook his head and took a seat by the fire. Ava watched as emotions ran across his face, one after the other. "I Went to look for Danarius." Understanding began to wash over Ava. "I knew that if he ever found out about her, he would kill her and you as well. I could not let that happen. I found him and then i reutrned to Kirkwall."

Ava felt her anger slip as Fenris told her what he had done.

"You killed him." It was not a question but Fenris nodded none the less. "Over a year ago."

"A year ago? Then why did you not return sooner?" the question escaped her lips before she realized she had asked it. Fenris rose from his seat once again and came to her. Gently he took her hand in his, and with his other brushed away her hair, grazing her skin slightly. "I did not know how."

He held her eyes with his own, three years of untold feelings clear in both of them. Ava could feel her self leaning into his touch; could feel his face coming closer to hers.

"Ava!" she jerked back from Fenris as Anders's voice echoed in from the hall. She rushed out, trying to forget what almost happened.

"Anders!" she ran up to him and he hugged her placing a small kiss on her lips just as Fenris came out from the library. She did not turn to him. She could already feel the hurt that he felt as realization came to him.

"Where's Necarri?" Anders held her face and spoke as he started to look for his daughter. "Is she-?" his voice stopped as his eyes came to Fenris standing there in the corner, hands balled into fists, lyrium marking glowing.

"I should go." Fenris moved to the door but Ava ran and stopped him grabbing on to his arm.

"Don't. please stay. At least until she awakes." Fenris looked from Ava and turned to look at the abomination who was still glaring at him. He turned back to Ava and nodded. She smiled softly and lead him an Anders up into the room.

* * *

"She'll be fine. She should be up within an hour or so." Anders cleaned his hands and stood up from beside Necarrii.

"Ava? can I have a word with you?" Ava release her daughter's hand and turned to Sebastian.

"Sebastian, you don't have to stay-" he cut her off holding his hand up and smiling.

"It is my pleasure, Hawke. I will watch her while you talk." Ava nodded and returned his smile.

Fenris watched as she left the room with the mage, closing the door behind them he waited until they were safely out of hearing range before approaching the bed on the other side . looking down he smiled slightly at his daughter's face. she looked so peaceful, sleeping without making a sound. She had gotten so big since he last saw her three almost four years ago.

Softly, threaded his hand through hers, smiling when she squeezed it in response.

"She is quite the child." Sebastian spoke, looking at him but he did not tear his gaze from her sleeping form.

"I have come to understand the reasons as to why you left." Fenris's head shot up and he gave Sebastian his death glare. Sebastian held his hands up in surrender. "You mistake me." Sebastian laughed slightly. "I overheard the conversation between you and Hawke, earlier."

Fenris couldn't help the sly smile that appeared on his face. Sebastian has always been an exceptional rogue. It didn't amaze to find out someone was listening in on them.

"I have missed so much." He stated, gently caressing Necarrii's hand.

"Aye, my friend that you have."

They sat in silence for a moment, both watching as Necarrii slept. Then, Sebastian saw Fenris's ear twitch as the elf perked up his head.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked but Fenris did not respond as he got up and ran from the room.

"YOU DON'T HIDE SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM ME!" Anders's was pissed. He wasn't screaming but his harsh whispers had cut into her just as much as him yelling them would. He took a hand and ran it through his hair. "Three years! Three years and not once did you tell that she was a mage!"

"I didn't tell anyone!" Ava countered already fed up with his bullshit.

"THAT IS A LIE!" he stepped up to her, accusing her with his eyes. She felt herself move back, hitting the writing table behind her. "THAT IS A LIE AND YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW THAT!" he came closer his face inches from hers. "You lied to me all these years. What else have you been hiding? No surely that Blasted elf is one of them!"

That's it. She had enough. Using all her force she pushed Anders off of her. "Don't you dare bring him into this!"

Anders smiled, satisfied that he had hit another weak spot. "I should have known I was temporary. Just another expendable item-" she would have let him go on but his words cut into her like a dagger and she just couldn't take it, not with everything that was going on. Before she could stop herself, she summoned her magic and sent a fireball to the floor just in front of where Anders stood. The mage jumped back and looked upon her with disbelief in his eyes.

"You dare use magic on me!?" she saw the blue spark in his eyes leave just as quickly as it had come. Ignoring she pressed on. "I loved you! I gave you everything and you repay me by accusing me of cheating on you?"

The mage growled and Ava braced herself as she felt his magic flow. But just as fast as the fight started, it had ended. Fenris ran downstairs, charging at Anders and pinning him against the wall.

"You will not harm her." He held his arm against Anders's neck, cutting off his breath. Slowly his marks came to life.

"FENRIS!" Ava ran toward him, trying very hard to pry him off of her lover. "FENRIS STOP!" the mage shifted his eyes to hers. The glowing dimmed as he backed away from Anders letting him fall to the ground in a choking fit.

"Mark my words, Hawke. I will not let this go." And with that he got up and left.

**Ok sooooo many thanx to PaulaH and GJ for the idea of Fenris going to kill danarius. I would have gone into more detail but I thought it was unnecessary considering we all know how Fenris kills ppl but I haven't decided if im going to put it into a later chapter yet. So I am almost finished with the plot line. My plan is a small filler chapter and then the last three chapters explaining how Ava and Necarrii escaped Kirkwall. After that two more and the epilogue. So all together about seven more chapters. Anyway I hope you enjoy.**

**Fan Question: So how do you guys see Necarrii reacting to Fenris?**


	29. Chapter 29

Denial chapter 29

Necarrii slept silently through the night and not once did Ava leave her side. And to her surprise neither did Fenris. She awoke to find him fast asleep in the chair across from her, his arm outstretched, his hand holding hers. She smiled. She knew it would take time for everyone to accept his return but seeing this made her feel it would be easier than most of the rest of her life had been these last few years.

Her heart ached slightly as she thought about Anders and what had happened between them last night. She hated herself for letting it get to that point but there was nothing she could do about it. Fenris returning hadn't changed how she felt about Anders. She had meant what she said last night. She did love him. But the words had meant nothing to him. He stormed out just as if she had told him she was cheating.

Betrayal crept up within her. Quietly she removed her hand form the bed and leaned over placing a soft kiss on Necarrii's head. Silently she moved out the room and headed down to the kitchen to sort her thoughts and prepare breakfast. She walked in to find Orana already up and about. The young elf greeted her with a smile. "Good morning, Mistress. What can I make for you today?"

"If you don't mind Orana, I would like to cook for myself. I need the dose of normality." Ava laughed at the thought of doing something normal.

Orana merely nodded, handing her the pot. "Then I Shall get started on your laundry." The elf moved out the kitchen, smiling and radiating with joy. Ava couldn't help but smile either. It had taken three years but Orana finally seemed to accept her knew standing role within the house. She had at least stopped calling Ava Master.

Ava placed the pot on the stove and began moving through the kitchen preparing several breakfast items as her mind began to wander once again. Her biggest issue was how to explain everything to Necarrii. Her daughter had been believing that Anders was her father for the better part of three years. And now he disappears leaving a strange elf in his place.

If Fenris even planned to stay. The thought had crossed her mind many times over the night, scared that she would wake to find only herself still in the room. But that had not been the case. He was still there, keeping his promise but what would happen after Necarrii woke up?

She felt herself freeze, staring at the bowl and batter that was infront of her. She did not her him enter until she heard his laugh.

His chuckle reached her ears, causing her head to shoot up. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment as she realized the mess around her. Flour and eggshells littered the counter along with various utensils. Behind her, bacon sizzled and smoked.

"Shit." She turned quickly removing the pan from the fire and setting on the wooden island beside her.

Fenris chuckled again.

"Like you could do any better." Ava laughed slightly with him throwing her cloth on the table beside the pan. She walked around the center coming to stand on the side where Fenris stood. Nervously, she leaned back on the table, unsure of what to say. "I'm glad you stayed." Was what escaped her mouth.

She looked at Fenris and smiled. "I honestly wasn't sure if you were going to." Her words drifted off not wanting to let any more of her earlier thoughts escape.

"After last night, I will admit, I thought of doing such." Her heart panged with fear. He was thinking of leaving. He probably still was. She could feel the tears form in her eyes.

"So that's just it. You save her and then you up and leave again?" she let her anger fly free in the form of words, scared that if she kept it welled up she would resort to magic again. " Why? WHY EVEN COME BACK!?"

He didn't look at her as she screamed. He merely stared at the floor trying to figure out how to say what was going through his mind.

"Did you mean it?" he went with the simplest of terms.

Ava's face screwed up in confusion.

"Did you mean what you told him yesterday?" he kept his eyes low, leaning on the door post. She knew what he wanted to hear but she also knew that he knew the truth.

She nodded. "He was there for me when I needed someone the most. He was there for her."

She stopped her words waiting for some type of reaction, but none came. So she continued on. "But that doesn't mean my feelings for you ever changed." His head shot up and she looked at him with soft eyes. Slowly she got up and strode over to him, taking his hands. "I know you think it better to leave, but she needs you." she brought a hand to his face. "I need you."

Fenris gazed down at her his eyes shifting, searching hers. finally he sighed. "It will take some time."

"I know." She let her hand fall. "Just promise me you won't leave."

Fenris gave her a small smile, taking her hand in his once again. He brought her palm up to his lips and placed a soft kiss in the middle. "I promise."

Anders stayed within his clinic throughout the night and day, turning out the lamp while he worked. He had hoped Hawke would help him but under recent circumstances he thought it best not to involve her. He slaved over his work table using the ingredients he collected earlier that morning.

As he worked, his mind drifted back to Hawke.

_**She is not the one she used to be.**_

Anders heard Justice's voice echo within his mind.

_**The power she wields has corrupted her, it's twisted her so that she doesn't know where she stands. She had become a liability. We must dispose of her.**_

**No Hawke will always stand beside her cause. ** He argued with the spirit, forcing it to stand down even now as he felt his power surge.

_**As long as she has ties to this world she will never truly devote herself.**_

Anders knew Justice spoke the truth. As long as Hawke had ties to this world she would always put those things first.

He carefully took his dropper, taken his newly brewed solution and placing it into a vial.

"I will do what I must." He spoke in to the emptiness of the clinic. Corking the vial he placed it in his pocket, grabbed his stave and left for the chantry.

It was nearly Dusk when Necarrii awoke. Ava had been truly scared for her in that time. She had after all been asleep far longer than Anders predicted. But when her eyes began to flutter, Ava perked up with excitement. slowly, she began to open her eyes. "Mama?" her voice was soft but audible.

"I'm here, Sweetie." Ava leaned over and took her daughter's hand.

"Mama? Where's daddy?" Ava felt tears leave her eyes. "He's at the clinic. But there are other people here to see you."

Ava moved from the bed and went to the door. The minute she opened it, all chatter from below quieted. Carver and Merrill looked up from their seats at the fire place, Menrin resting peacefully on Carver's lap. Sebastian, Varric and Bella stood by writing desk, their faces eager for news. Fenris returned from the library.

"Well, Sister?" Carver lifted Menrin and placed him in Merrill's arms. "Is she awake?"

Ava couldn't contain her smile any longer. She nodded and immediately after her companions started making their way to her room, Merrill stopping only deposit Menrin in his room.

One by one her companions came into the room, showering Necarrii with hugs and kisses. They were all so happy to find she was ok. She watched from the middle of the room. Smiling as each of her friends surrounded her with love.

Only Fenris stood back.

He stood by the door watching as everyone else casual walked up to his daughter. She returned their love easily, thanking her aunts and uncles for saving her. He watched as her eyes drifted to him and curiosity filled her features.

Ava turned and glanced at him, before turning back Necarrii and smiling. "Necarrii, there is someone I would like you to meet." Ava held out her hand for Fenris. He looked at it for a moment, considering what to do before taking it and allowing her to lead him to the corner of the bed. Bella and Varric moved as they came closer.

"This is Fenris. He is an old friend." She turned to him and smiled, her eyes encouraging him. "Fenris. This is Necarrii."

Fenris turned to face his daughter, her smile widening as she accepted what her mother had told her. Fenris moved his lips to speak but was cut off before the words even left his mouth.

"HAWKE!" Aveline's voice boomed from the floor below as she made her entrance into the manor. Ava quickly moved to the balcony followed by both Carver and Fenris.

"Hawke!" Aveline' s eyes widen as she took in Fenris standing beside her friend. But she shook her head, realizing it was not the time nor place.

"What is it Aveline?" Ava looked at her with worry on her face.

"It's Orsino and Meredith." Aveline need say no more. Ava turned from the balcony and re-entered the room. Everyone's laughter faded as the recognized the determined look on her face.

She ignored there stares and grabbed her stave. "Orana?" the elf moved out from behind the people. "Stay with the children." The elf nodded.

"What's wrong, Hawke?" bella rose from her chair, eager to figure out what was happening.

"It seems the Templars and the Mages have reached their limits."

**A/N ok so heres my tiny filler. I hope you guys enjoy it. if there are any mistakes please let me know. i think WORD got all of them this time though XD**

**FAN QUESTION: how do you think Necarrii should find out who her actual father is?**

**Sidenote: I have a prequel already set for this and with the changes I made to this story it should be quiet interesting after I fix it up a bit. But either way it is called LET LOVE BE. It was up before but because I didn't know the way this story was going I had to take it down. But it will be back up shortly and I hope you guys read it! 3**


	30. Chapter 30

Denial chapter 30

Ava and all her companions moved through the streets of Low town desperate to catch up with Meredith and Orsino. Hearing they had left the gallows to harass Her Grace did not sit well with her. The chantry can only do so much. She could only do so much.

"You cannot do that!" Orsino's voice rang out as they came closer. They rounded the corner and the first enchanter came into view, followed closely by Meredith. "You have no right!"

Ava stopped between them, watching as they continued to argue on. "I have every right!" the knight- commander spoke fiercely. "You are harboring blood mages and I intend to root them out before they infect the city!"

"Blood magic! Where do you not see blood magic? My people cannot sneeze without you accusing them of corruption!"

"If you have nothing to hide then why not let her search the tower." Ava spoke her words carefully, knowing the dangerous waters that she now treaded into. She could not appease both sides forever.

"This is not your problem, Champion." Meredith didn't even turn her gaze on her.

"I called her here perhaps she could help the situation and show people what you have done."

Meredith straightened and held her nose up high. "I have done nothing but protect this city time and time again. What I have done is protect you mages from your curse and your own stupidity. And I will not stop doing it!"

"You are both wrong!" Ava spoke harshly. "I have seen and experienced firsthand what you're fighting has done to the city and its people! You are not bettering anyone by staying in such a state! Is there no reasoning with either of you? The city has been falling apart for the better part of these years and all you have both done is nothing but argue!"

"What else could we do?! She would have us all cast aside as evil but it is not so! It does not exist in all of us!" a flash crossed Orsino's eyes and Ava began to question his stability.

"There are other ways to go about this." Sebastian came and stood beside her.

"A compromise can be reached, I am sure."

Orsino shook his head at him. "You know nothing. This is getting us nowhere. The Grand Cleric will put a stop to this." He turned and made toward the stairs that led into the markets of High Town.

"What good will that do?" Fenris stepped up as well, catching Orsino's attention as he began to climb the stairs. The mage turned to confront him but before he could speak another voice joined in.

"It doesn't matter. The Grand Cleric cannot help you."

Anders walked toward them all; stave in hand, shinning with life. As he passed carver, the warrior stopped him. "What do you mean?" he growled, but Anders merely ignored him, shrugging his arm out of his grasp as he continued on to stand before the knight-commander and Orsino.

"Explain yourself mage." Wonder and fear sparked in both Meredith and Orsino's eyes.

"I will not stand by and watch you treat all mages like criminals..."

"Anders?" Ava questioned him wanting to reach out, but as he slammed his stave to the ground, she felt the energy that pulsed within him.

"While those who lead us bow to our Templar jailers." He continued on with his speech.

"How dare you-"

The stave slammed once more, sending waves rippling beneath her. She could feel the presence of Vengeance and she immediately knew the spirit had something planned.

The circle has failed us Orsino! Even you should be able to see that!" she listened as his voice became deeper and his body began to emit a small blue glow. "The time to act has come. There can be no half-measures. There can be no turning back."

Anders turned to her, eyes wide and sad. "It was the only way." He spoke the words softly to her as he slammed his stave on the floor again sending the final waves to do his bidding. Ava staggered as the ground began to quake. Fenris grabbed her to steady her. All around she watched as her companions and the others braced themselves for what was to come. In the distance, Ava could her rumbling, as if something was getting ready to fall. Looking up she saw a light erupt from the chantry, its red shine lighting up the night sky as if it had been raining blood. She held Fenris tighter and reached for Sebastian's hand as piece by piece the chantry began to fall apart. The top had been blown off by the beam. Pieces of the building no swirled in the air, ripping it apart right before there very eyes. All her companions gasped as the watched the horror. The beam shot out, spreading the pieces and its people across the city in a violent explosion. And just like that the chantry was destroyed.

"ELTHINA! NO!" Ava felt Sebastian fall to the floor beside her, his hand dropping form hers as he fell. "MAKER NO! SHE WAS YOUR MOST FAITHFUL! Your most beloved…" his head fell in sorrow.

"Sebastain…" Ava left Fenris's embrace and went to the aid her friend, her heart aching at the site of him, but he moved to quickly for her. Pushing himself he marched over to the mage responsible, grabbing him by the collar. "WHY?" Sebastian shook him violently. "WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!?"

Anders did not struggle against his hold. He just looked him in the eye. Turning to Ava he spoke his words. "I removed the chance for compromise because there is no compromise."

"Who are You to decide that?!" Carver stepped out from behind her, getting a clear view of the man he used to call brother. "Who are you to decide the fate of all those innocent lives?!"

"The Grand Cleric slain by magic." All of them except Anders turned to face Meredith. Her face an unreadable mask of fury and hate. "As Knight-Commander of Kirkwall, I here by Invoke the right of annulment. Every mage in the circle is to be executed immediately!"

"The circle did not even do this!" Orsino turned his eyes to her. Champion you can't let her do this! Help us stop her madness!"

Meredith turned to her knowingly. "Tread lightly Champion. You know what you must do! We must act and I call on You to help me defend this city!"

"I will not take your side Meredith! Your corruption has gone to far." Orsino turned to her with a gleam. "Nor will I take yours! For too long this battle over mages and Templars has gone on and now innocent people have died because of your own failure and stupidity. Fight me if you must, but I will not fight on a side I do not agree with!" Ava took out her stave, eyes glowing with anger.

"fine!" Meredith turned from her group. Ava looked around too see her friends all in fighting positions. Sebastian kept a tight hold on Anders.

"Kill every mage in this city! Left nowhere unchecked! We must root this evil out from which it stems beginning with the Champion!" she turned her gaze on Ava once more as the Templars began to move in on them.

Ava held no breath. She sent a stone fist at the first Templar to come within feet of her, knocking him back against the wall. His body slumped unconscious. Two more made for her but where quickly taken out by Fenris and carver. All around her chaos broke loose, mages and Templars ran in different ways, some attacking, others looking to get out of the cross fire.

A mage sliced into his wrist and she could already feel the blood magic creeping toward her in an attempt to restrain her. She tried hard to escape the tendrils that began to surround her, but to no avail. She was just about to unleash her fire, when she felt the tendrils slip and fade back into the realm they had come from. She looked to see the mage fall with an arrow protruding from his chest.

"Hawke!" she turned to see Varric, as he loaded another bolt into Bianca. The dwarf too aim at another mage, stopping her summoning before it could take form. "Orsino!" he jerked his head in the direction they had originally come from. Running she chased after orsino, sending a bolt of electricity at him. The bolt was absorbed by hhis shield. She heard him laugh. She stopped as he head down into the docks. "This isn't the end, Champion!" she watched as his figured disappeared.

Doubling back, she ran back to her friends, the sounds of battle dying out with each step she took. By the time she returned, the last Templar had fallen prey to Fenris's sword. His body fell, joining the others, adding to the scene of death before her. Over twenty bodies, mages and Templars alike, laid on the floor beneath her. She stared at them for a moment, wondering about the amount of damage she had just done.

"AH." She came back to her senses as she turned and saw Sebastian began to wrestle Anders to the ground. He held his wrist tightly behind his back as he continued to struggle.

"KILL ME THEN! I WILL ONLY BE ONE MARTYR OF MANY!"

"You have known to be a martyr." Ava walked up to her friend and her former lover. The rest of the group surrounded them closely. Anders held her gaze but it was not his eyes that she saw. All the years he had spent with her, caring for her, loving her, his eyes had been gentle, sweet, human. Now, she saw nothing but the glare of a monster.

"Why?" she asked holding his gaze while the others around them watched and listened.

A wicked smile spread across his face. "Because, I already lost." She caught the flash of hurt and Betrayal before he could completely compose himself. Ava stared at him taken aback slightly by his words. She turned to Fenris. His eyes watched her with emotions she couldn't even place. Care, Love, Lust. Turning back to Anders, she came to a realization. "You cannot lose if the prize is already claimed."

Anders head shot up and she could see the tears fall from his eyes just as Sebastian plunged the dagger into his side.

**A/N ok so I probably lied when I guesstimated how many chapters would be left. Idk yet. I am still trying very hard to map out the end reunion. Also, I had Ava not pick any sides just because I don't think she should've at least not yet. Anyway the next chapter is already underway and should be posted soon. Thank you All SO much for your support!**

**Fan Question: if Ava did chose a side what side do you think she would have chosen?**


	31. Chapter 31

Denial chapter 31

The boat swayed them as it moved across the waters. Ava stood on the deck watching the gallows from a distance. She could see traces of the battles that had to be taking place there. Fires burned through windows, rubble could be seen falling as another body fell from the towers. Ava closed her eyes not wanting to witness anymore. There were so many that she couldn't save.

She turned from her spot and went to rejoin her companions in the cabins below. All of them had been down there, preparing for the worse that could come.

"We can't just rush in there. That would be suicide!" Bella spoke loudly, pointing at Aveline who just kept her face straight.

"What do you purpose then?" the guard captain let the pirate have the floor, allowing her to approach the map they had acquired of the gallows.

"We need to go in groups. "

"Bella's right." Ava entered the cabin so that her companions knew of her presence. "We go in groups. Push our way toward the middle chamber until we can find Orsino and Meredith."

"The plan is good, But what of the groups." Carver asked glancing at each of them in turn.

"Junior's right, we're already down a healer." The group kept silent at the subtle mention of Anders.

"Merril, Carver, Bella and Aveline. You can enter first on the lower grounds." Ava pointed to the map between her and Bella. "Merril can handle the healing for you guys. Varric, Sebastian, Fenris and I will enter on the higher ground and provide support from the above."

Ava looked up from the map to find all of her companions staring at her.

"What about Necarrii?" Sebastian spoke up from beside Fenris, his face still red from his earlier encounter with Anders.

Ava felt her heart pang. "She is safe in the manor. Her and Menrin will be fine with Orana and Bodahn."

"But-" carver spoke but kept his gaze on the floor. Beside him, Merril threaded her fingers through his and turned her small, sad smile on to Ava. "What if we don't come back?"

Ava looked at her sister with knowing eyes. She completely understood how she and caver both felt. Fighting a battle that could decide the fate of everyone around them. A battle that could decide the fate of their son and her daughter. If none of them came back from this, they would be alone in a world where mages were forced to hide who they were. They would be alone.

"We will not let that happen."

Her eyes found Fenris, his face filled with determination and power. All around the room she looked to each and every face filled with the same. All of her friends were willing to fight and possibly die for her. And she was willing to do the same for them.

* * *

The gallows was complete chaos. Mages and Templars alike littered the floors, their blood spilling out on the steps as the groups made their way up into the courtyard.

"Fenris!" Ava veered off to the left waving at her group to follow. They made their way up to the towers quickly. The battle raged on below as her friends met up with resistance.

Ava's group stormed the higher ground quickly, breaking off to each side, picking off the archers as they did.

"Stop the Champion by any means necessary!" she heard Meredith scream. She turned from the body of a fallen archer just in time to see Meredith and a group of Templars run further into the Gallows.

"CARVER!" Ava called over the edge to her brother. He nodded in understanding and went after the crazed night commander as the rest of them took out her underlings. One by one Templars and mages fell to their blades, arrows and magic. The smell of blood practically flooded the air.

She sent a spiraling shock to the last archer and smiled with slight satisfaction when his body reacted to the electricity.

"You are a force to be reckon with, Hawke." Varric and the others came up behind her.

"You can flatter me later, Varric." She turned to Sebastian and Fenris. "You two run after Carver. help him catch up to Meredith and orsino." The pair nodded and head down the tower into the Gallows.

"Varric, stay with the others and guard the entrance. Make sure no one gets past you."

Varric loaded another bolt into Bianca, smiling. "You got it, Hawke." He turned and went back the way they had come.

Taking a deep breathe, Ava once more brandished her stave and pushed in after her people.

* * *

Ava pounded the table in frustration.

"Mama?" Necarrii turned from her book, her eyes full of fear and wonder.

Ava quickly hid her anger, smiling at her daughter warmly. "I'm fine, sweetie." She said closing up her old map and rising from her seat. She made her way to Necarrii, who sat on the soft bed holding her book. Pulling her into her lap, she took the book from her hands and placed it down next to them.

"Now I need you to stay here ok?" she hoping to the Maker that they would be out of this place soon. Denerim was no place for a mage at this time, but where else could she have gone for help. Unfortunately help was a tad bit out of reach at the moment and she could only do so much to rectify that.

"Where are you going?" Necarrii asked looking up at her. Her eyes looked so much like her father's but she would never tell her that.

"Mama is going to go and see if she could find her friend." She hugged her daughter and lifted her off her lap. "I won't go too far I promise." Necarrii nodded

"Are you going to find papa?" the girl hopped off the bed and went up to her mother. Her eyes were filled with a longing she had never seen before and Ava couldn't help the guilt she felt at seeing her like this.

She bent down and took her daughter's hand and smiled sadly. "Yes, sweetie, I am." she caressed her face before standing once again. "Don't open the door for anyone."

Necarrii nodded.

Slowly, Ava moved out the door and locked it behind her. Pulling her hood up high she made her way to the front bar.

Only a week they had been in Denerim and in that week Ava was able to see the damage that had spread from Kirkwall. Templars were everywhere she walked, eyeing each person as they walked by. Mages roamed the city streets, hiding from the hunters that would surely take their lives. The entire place gave off a fearful aura. It sent shivers down her spine.

She took a seat at the bar, sitting so that her hood hid all features that could make her recognizable to anyone who knew.

"What will it be?" the bar tender came up to her smiling until she lifted her head and he saw her face.

"Information."

The bartender shifted his head both ways, his eyes scanning for anyone who could have heard.

"Look lady, them Templars would have my head if I gave anything out, I don't do that sort of business no more."

Ava tossed her sachet across the counter. It landed with a heavy thump.

The bartender eyed it cautiously, his mind caught between the fear of getting caught and the greed she knew he would always have.

Giving in, his hand darted out, taking the bag and disappearing back under the counter.

"I need to find a man. His name is-"

The door busted open and all eyes turned as ten figures walked through. Their armor clanked and their swords scratched as they were removed from their sheaths. Fear could be felt in the room. Everyone was on edge watching as they furthered their approach.

The Templars had found her.

**A/N Another chapter that seemed very difficult to right. I didn't know exactly how to capture what was happening in the gallows and I honestly think I suck at writing fight seems but I try and with practice comes perfection XD anyway a couple of more chapters to go at least two for the story line and then we see how the Templars react to finding Hawke. Hmmm that should be interesting **** comments and reviews are welcomed! Love you guys! I really think if no one was reading this I would have took it down so thanks for your support **

**FAN QUESTION: when I had first started this story I did not plan on Anders taking Fenris's place especially after him and Ava had so many fall outs. What do you guys think of that little change?**


	32. Chapter 32

Denial chapter 32

Ava had barely caught up to the others before they had made it to the middle chamber. Shades and demons of all sorts had littered the halls she ran through and if it weren't for the anger and adrenaline that was fueling her, surely she would have fallen to one of them. But she pressed on. The others had just reached the door when she had turned down the hall.

"Finally." Carver stated as she came up and joined them.

Ava smiled slyly at him. "Well excuse me for dealing with what you guys left behind."

"And if we had killed them all, you would have been upset." Sebastian stated as he readied his arrow.

Ava smiled. "Shall we?" she gestured to the door. The others smiled in response.

"Alright then." Fenris grasped the knob and the door flung open. All at once they ran down the long hall that led in to the middle chamber. Nothing was left in it to suggest a battle had taken place, so when the group had reached the end of the hall; they stopped short as the bodies came into view.

Mages littered the floor their blood spilling quickly under Orsino's feet. Meredith lay unconscious beside them. Ava could see the spell that had bound her, its reins tightening with each breathe she took. Disgust over took her. She looked back to Orsino and saw his sad expression.

"Look at it all." He began as he bent down and gentle caressed the dead body of one of his former pupils. "Why don't they just drown us as children?" he looked to her, tears swimming in his eyes. "Why do they give us the illusion of hope?"

"They don't. You just choose to take matters into your own hands." Ava relaxed her stance, not wanting to shed any more blood. "Give up, Orsino. There is still time to compromise and change what has been done."

"No." he shook his head and rose from the mage. "I refuse to keep running. I won' wait for her to kill me!" Ava turned to the unconscious Meredith, the magic around her becoming stronger and stronger.

Blood magic.

Orsino laughed. Its sadistic sound filled the air around them bringing more despair to the scene of death around them. "The irony is that until this moment I have never used blood magic."

"You would have us believe you just pulled such tricks out of thin air?" Fenris gestured to the scene before him.

"HA! These are all willing sacrifices! Men and Women who would have died at your hands anyhow!"

Orsino removed his staff and let it fall beside him. "I had once hidden the existence of such things. Telling Quentin such magic would only be ammunition against us. But I see I was wrong." His words were soft and quiet as he moved about the bodies, but both Ava and Carver tensed as the realized what it meant.

Anger got the better of her. She reacted before she had even processed her thoughts. Turning her stave upward, dagger end gleaming, she charged at the man she had once want to help and protect. She charged at him, eyes glowing, magic consuming her every thought. She felt the power as it erupted her from inside of her. Vengeance. That's what she felt. That's what she wanted. But she couldn't even get near him. The minute she came within his power, he sent her flying backwards into Fenris. The elf dropped his sword and caught her, both of them falling back hard against the floor.

"YOU WERE WORKING WITH THAT BASTARD?" Carver screamed but he didn't try to attack like his sister had.

"I knew about him yes, but I kept his research a secret. I see now that I needn't have bothered!" Ava watched as Carver and Sebastian began to stagger slightly. Bodies flew up and began threading themselves together. Blood poured from their open wounds as they wrapped themselves around Orsino, morphing him and mutating him into something unrecognizable.

Ava rose; stave in hand ready for the battle with the hideous creature that stood before them. Faces and arms; legs and torso's, she could see each and every one as clearly as when they had been lying before them.

"You sick bastard!" She screamed as she launched her fireball at him. The creature staggered back and that was all her brother and Fenris needed. They automatically charged at the monster and began slashing at it with their swords. The creature roared in anger and smacked them both across the hall. Carver landed roughly on the ground while Fenris slammed hard against the pillar behind them.

"GO!" Sebastian began volleying arrow at the beast as fast as he could while Ava ran to the aid of the others. She got to carver first, Mending his broken, ribs and sprained wrist. He thanked her quickly before dashing back into battle with a mighty blow from his sword. The creature turned from Sebastian and tried to focus on carver, but the man wouldn't have it. He dodged and weaved as the creature took its aim.

Ava continued of healing Fenris, watching the battle from the side. Suddenly she felt it. It started small; she had barely noticed it, but as the others continued their attack, it hit her more. She began to feel her mana drain away, the creature feeding on it for its own survival. She slowly fell to her knees, stopping the healing.

"Ava!" Fenris's quick hands caught her as she fell forward from exhaustion.

"I'm fine." She said through deep gasping breaths as she rose to her feet again. Fenris followed watching her as she moved back into the battle.

She felt weak. Her hand shook slightly as she raised her stave to cast another spell. Spinning her stave on the ground before her, she froze the creature as it began fall. The body fell frozen on the ground just as the head popped off. The tiny thing moved around the blades, avoiding each slash as it came down.

Skeletons rose from the corners, stringing their bows and knocking their arrows. Ava quickly began attacking them with her stave. Running to the first once, she brought the blade up slicing the bones in half. As it fell she quickly moved to the next one, slicing it as she sent a fireball to the third. The fourth fell to an arrow and she turned around to see Sebastian nod toward her before resuming his assault on the thing that was once Orsino.

She watched as Sebastian's arrow took its mark into the creatures head. The tiny monstrosity cried in pain, before returning to its body.

"We have to find a way to get that thing separate!" Carver screamed as he and Fenris began slashing away at its legs and arms.

Suddenly Ava had an idea.

She ran to the entrance of the hall, summoning the remaining bit of mana she had, she quickly cast the spell, freezing the creatures feet once again. As the others continued slashing at it, Ava dropped her stave and took a running start at the creature.

"Ava!" she could hear all three men shout her name in shock as she launched herself at the creature, grabbing on to the small arm-like things that protruded from its face. Taking her small knife, she began to cut out the head of the creature. It cried in protest as the blade severed its skin, but finally it came loose. Ava jumped back as the body fell flinging the creature as the same time.

She fell to the floor hard, her knees and legs screaming as the collided with the floor below.

Clutching her sides, she watched as the creature tried to scurry away.

"NO!" lifting her hand, she sent a fireball at its retreating form. It squealed and squirmed as it struggled within the flames, but it did not escape its death.

Ava managed a smile as the flames died out. "Bastard." Was all she could say before she passed out.

* * *

No!

The others ran to her aid quickly, still not believing what she had done.

_She can't be!_

"What in the hell was she thinking?!" Carver asked as Fenris knelt over her examining her. Fear consumed his heart as he realized she was not moving. "Is she-?"

"No. she breathes." Fenris pointed to her chest as it slowly began to rise and fall. "She lives. For now."

"We need to do something!" Fenris ignored carver's pleas trying to think for himself. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. Taking Ava's hand, he slowly and gently willed his markings to life. Her body reacted almost immediately, taking in the lyrium in its make shift form. Carefully, he lifted her up into his arms, his markings still glowing.

"We must get her to Merrill and quickly." the elf said as he shifted her into an easier position.

"What about Meredith?" Sebastian asked as the proceeded out the hall and to the others.

"What about her?" was all Fenris said before he took off in a run, the others following closely behind him.

**A/N ok so I kind of just wrote this chapter as it came to me. I watched the battle and yeah this is what I got pretty much lol. I know I kind of put lines from both the mages and the Templars side in what Orsino said but I thought it made more sense that way since Ava didn't pick any side. As for leaving Meredith yeah I wish I could have done that in the game, but I'm sure she's not finished with Ava yet ;)**

** Reviews are always welcomed! And thank you guys so much for all your support! I wrote because people read it! 3 **

**FAN QUESTION: Ava was looking for someone in Denerim. Who do you guys think it was? :P**


	33. Chapter 33

Denial chapter 33

Fenris watched closely as the blood mage healed Ava. He had never appreciated her much before now. If it wasn't for her magic, he would have lost her. Carver stood on the other side of his sister next to his lover. He held his sister's hand tightly, watching as Fenris did.

Ava inhaled sharply and her eyes widen. "Bloody Maker. What happened?"

Carver laughed. "You are mad. Simply and completely mad."

Ava sat up with his and Fenris's help. She turned to the elf and smiled. "I don't suppose you'll actually tell me, would you?"

Fenris smirked. "You Passed out after killing Orsino." He took her hand and rose her up from the ground, her companions coming all around her.

"You used all you mana. If it wasn't for Fenris, Lethallen, oh creators, I don't even know what would have happened." Merrill's words faded as Carver stepped back and took her hand.

"Thank You, sister." Ava said smiling and turning to Fenris as he handed her back her stave that Sebastian had grabbed before leaving the chambers. "I shall have to hear more of this." She looked past the group and found Varric and Sebastian not far from them. They held their weapons high, aiming at the Templars that kneeled before them. There were six of them, unarmed and beaten badly. "Where is Meredith?" she asked turning to the group that had been in the chamber with her. If Orsino was gone then…

"And here we are champion. At last" Meredith spoke from the top of the stairs. Cullen and another Templar close behind her.

"It is over Meredith. Can you not see that?" Ava gestured to the battle field around them. "Your forces are gone as are those you considered a threat."

"I am here to see order restored." She began as she descended the stairs. "What happens to you now is your own doing." She stopped walking just a little past Ava and her group. "You were never part of this circle." She spoke out facing away from them. "And I tolerated that. But Not anymore."

Cullen stepped forward, glancing nervously at Ava. "Knight-commander, I thought we intended to arrest the champion."

Meredith turned on him violently, her eyes daggers as anger over took her body. "YOU WILL DO AS I COMMAND!"

"No." Cullen shook his head and began backing up toward Ava and her group. Ava watched her Templar friend as knowledge over took the fear that was once in his eyes. I defended you when Thrask began whispering you were mad. But this." He gestured out into the field around them. "This is just too far."

"I will not allow insubordination! We must stay true to our path!" she removed her sword from its sheath and Ava felt the power that radiated from it. Her eyes grew in disbelief just as the Varric spoke. "Andraste's Holy ass."

"You recognize it do you not?" she brought the blade up to her arm as if to better examine the sword she had no doubt carried for years. "Pure Lyrium, taken from the deep roads. The dwarf charged a great deal for his price." She looked to Ava and Varric. "His life as I understand it." Varric growled beside her and Ava found herself grabbing the dwarf's collar just to keep him in place.

"ALL OF YOU!" she turned to her remaining Templars. "I WANT HER DEAD!"

The six unarmed ones did not move, nor did the one behind her.

"Enough!" Cullen approached, drawing his own sword. ":This is not what the order-" his words were cut off as Meredith shoved him back hard. He fell to the ground before Ava and Varric. The two quickly moved to lift him up.

"You have gone too far, Meredith!" Ava yelled as she brandished her stave.

"NO! I have not gone far enough!" Meredith dashed forward and Ava barely had enough time to bring up her stave in a block, the others backed away as the two metals crashed.

"Yes." Ava whispered fiercely as she focused on bringing out her power once more. "YES YOU HAVE!" she pushed hard sending fire through the stave. It blasted Meredith backwards, knocking her on her ass.

She spun her stave as Meredith struggled to rise. "I will not sit by and let you take my life." She looked around at the others now holding their weapons high and in ready stance; Cullen lead the other Templars to take refuge within the Gallows halls. "Nor will you take the lives of anyone anymore."

The knight commander leaned on her sword, growling. "You will fall, Champion!" she let out a fierce battle cry and charged at the group. Ava jumped out the way, landing to the ground with Merril and Varric behind her. They all quickly rose and began launching attacks as the others slashed away with theirs blades. Meredith cackled as she moved to block each attack whether it be with her blade or armor. She shoved the warriors back and charged straight for Varric. Both Ava and Merril cast a shield around him barely making it as Meredith sliced down. The force of the lyrium broke the shield, knocking Varric back against the pillar. "Varric!" Bella left the battle and moved to the dwarf's side helping him out of the battle range.

Ava redoubled her attack, sending anything that would stun or stagger her if only for a moment. Sebastian took aim with his arrows, trying and failing to hit his mark. The damned woman just wouldn't stay still.

Finally her stone fist made contact knocking her back as Aveline bashed her with her shield.

Meredith doubled over against her sword, taking in deep breathes as she tried to regain her power. "Maker, your servant begs you for the strength to defeat this evil!" her head shot up and her eyes glowed red. She flipped behind her landing on the step above the courtyard.

Ava stared as Meredith slammed down her sword, breaking the ground beneath her. She turned to Merrill and confirmed her fears. Meredith was using the lyrium, sending it to the statues around them. one by one each statue began to move. They hopped down from their perches and began to attack. Ava attacked quickly freezing the statue as much as she could so that the others could destroy it form the bottom up. The first two fell quickly to all there attacks. And soon after the others did as well. As they fell, the knight commander immediately began her attack once more charging first at Merrill. The tiny elf had stood no chance against her strength and Ava felt her heart clench as she tried to shield her but she knew she had been too late. Meredith's sword came down quickly and she waited for the sound that she knew would come but instead she was rewarded by the sound of clanging metal. She stopped her attacks only for a second to see what had become of her friend and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she saw both Carver and Fenris, swords raised blocking the crazed woman's attack.

"NOW!" Everyone on the field moved to attack, Merrill first sent a wave of ice, locking Meredith in her place as Sebastian sent a volley of arrows toward the now open parts of her armor. Ava sent a raging fireball to melt the ice as Aveline bashed her with the shield. The sword fell from her hands as she flew backwards.

"I-" she got up and moved staggering back to her sword. "I will not be defeated!" she screamed through gasping breathe.

"It's over Meredith!" Ava approached her slowly.

"NO!" she snatched up her sword and with shaking hands tried to raise it. "Maker, Aid your humble servant!" she raised the sword up, her body still staggering. Power erupted from its core, shooting out and causing everyone to cringe back. The bright light lasted for all but a minute. As it died out, the sword erupted and was replaced by Meredith's agonizing screams. They all watched in horror as the knight commander struggled with herself, falling to the floor and clawing at her head. Red veins covered her body, indicating the effect the lyrium had on her. Her body began to change, glowing brighter with each screech that left her mouth until she was silent. When Ava looked back, she saw nothing but a stone figure in place of the former knight.

Tentatively, she walked up to the strange statue and placed a soft hand on it. When nothing happened she turned back to her companions and found them completely in awe like she was.

Cullen and the other Templars moved from where they were standing with the others. All eight of them wore faces that seemed stunned and shocked by the gallows new addition.

Cullen turned from the statue to look at Ava, his face still in awe and making her feel extremely uncomfortable.

His next move had done nothing to help that feeling either. Placing his hand over his heart, Cullen knelt down to the ground in front of her. The other Templars quickly followed.

She replaced her stave on her back as the others filled in. "What in Andraste's-" she held up her hand to stop Sebastian's words as Cullen rose from the ground. "We owe you a great debt for tonight, Champion." He bowed slightly again. "The order will forever be in your favor."

She smiled. "Very kind of you. But as it is," she glanced at all her friends around her; Varric leaning heavily on Bella but still smiling, Sebastian and Aveline both crossing their arms with victory smiles, Carver with his arm around Merrill and Fenris smirking at her.

"I would just like to go home now."

Tonight would be a night she would never forget.

**A/N ok so it is not even remotely close to what I had in mind but hey I make do since I can always put it in the next chapter. Heads up in the next chapter we find out why Necarrii and Ava left! Yay! Thank you again so much for all your reviews and your likes and favorites and follows. I love seeing so many people read my writing ah it's such a huge confidence booster! So again THANK YOU! share the love! **

**FAN QUESTION: How do you think Necarrii will react to the death of Anders?**


	34. Chapter 34

Denial chapter 34

The sun had come up by the time they had all made it back to Ava's mansion. She unlocked the door as quietly as could, trying not to wake the ones who could be sleeping.

"Make yourselves at home," She said turning to her companions. "Bella, Varric, Sebastian, I Trust you all know where the guest rooms are?" the three nodded at her as they made their way into the main hall.

"Oh maker." Carver placed his sword on the mantle by the door. "The amount of times we saved this city," he shook his head and headed up the stairs Merrill following close behind him. "Wake me up when they discover another crisis." He waved his hand lazily toward the others before walking into his room and locking the door behind them.

"Look, Hawke, we can always stay somewhere else if –"

"Nonsense, Varric. You and Bella are welcomed for as long as you wish. You to Sebastian." Sebastian smiled his thanks to her and moved to sit beside Fenris by the fire.

On the walk home, they had discovered that Sebastian was not the only left without a home. Remnants of the Hanged Man were barely noticeable as they passed through low town. Miraculously, Gamlen's hovel survived. So Sebastian, Varric and Bella would stay with her and her family until further notice. Aveline had gone home to Donnic after making sure her guards were all ok. She would be by later for dinner. maker, willing they all needed something normal.

"If you don't mind, Hawke, I am going to go drop like the stone I was made of." Varric turned off toward the hall that led to the guest rooms. "Maker knows I deserve to."

"Are you sure you're ok, Varric? You took a pretty hard hit."

Varric waved her cares away. "I'm fine, Princess. Don't you worry."

Bella yawned behind her. "I'm out, too." Bella gave her a wicked grin as she followed Varric down the hall.

"Bella…" Ava gave her a warning.

"I won't." she turned and gave a wink before shutting her door.

"Maker, why are my friends so dysfunctional?" she mumbled as she joined the men sitting by the fire.

"And you are not?" sebastian asked as she moved to join them by the fire.

"And what of you two?" she asked as she sat lovingly on Fenris's lap, wrapping her arms around her neck.

Fenris smiled down at her. "You have led me to strange places, Ava."

"Did you just realize this now?" she said laughing at her lover's statement.

"And I am sure she will lead us in to even stranger yet, my friend." Sebastian commented as he rose from his chair, smiling. "If you Do not mind, I will take my leave." He glanced at the two by the fire, completely lost in each other's company. He smiled at them and ran a hand through his unruly hair "I must inform you now. I don't plan on staying in Kirkwall much longer."

Ava rose with curiosity. "Why not?"

"StarkHaven will be in disarray after hearing the events that has transpired here. As the only heir, I feel it is my duty to make sure the same chaos does not happen there as well." The archer surprised her with his words. After the destruction of the chantry here, Ava had wondered what Sebastian had planned to do. She had never even considered he might go home to reclaim his throne.

"You wish to reclaim your throne then?"

"Yes. It is the least I could do for my family and my people. I will stay though for as long as you need." Sebastian diverted his eyes and Ava could sense he had more to say. She removed herself from Fenris's grasp and moved to face her friend. "What is it Sebastian?"

The archer hesitated at first, struggling to find the words. "Fenris," The elf turned from the fire and looked at him. "I would like your assistance." Fenris, if surprised did not give anything away.

"I cannot promise you will have my blade but… I will think about your request." Sebastian nodded and turned back to Ava. She stood in front of him, somewhat shocked at his outright request for Fenris's help and also somewhat hurt that her friend hadn't asked anything of her. "I bid you both a fare rest." He said walking down the hall Bella and Varric had gone down only moments ago. "If you are even going to rest." Ava caught his mumbled words and the smirk on his face before he turned. Her eyes widened at the Prince's bluntness but he hurried away before she had the chance to comment.

"Did he really just say that?" Ava turned away from her friends retreating figure and came to face her lover as he rose from his fire side chair. He grabbed her by the waist and took her in his arms, a seductive smirk taking over his face. "And would he not be wrong?" he pulled her close. "I have been away far too long and almost lost you to another."

Ava felt her smile fade as she pushed herself out of his arms. Her heart clench as he spoke the truth. He had been gone and she had found love in the arms of another. And yet she had not even bothered to mourn his passing. She had killed him. The man who loved her and cared for her when her true love had left her side with their child none the less. Anders had taken in a broken Ava, attempting to make her whole once more and although he had helped her, she had been nowhere near whole with the dead man. But he cared for her daughter. And to her that was all that mattered. To find someone who she could look to as a father had been what she had hoped for and although it had ended badly she found herself closing her eyes and whispering a silent prayer to the Maker on behalf of Anders. But not for the man she had killed. No. she prayed for the man that was lost years ago to a spirits helpless cause. She prayed for the man that she had met, with the passion in his eyes and friendship in his heart. She remembered his smile, his laugh all the things that had made him who he was.

When she opened her eyes she found Fenris staring down at her. Carefully he reached out and took her hand. She lowered her head avoiding his eyes hoping he was not wondering why the sudden change in her person. "Ava," he spoke her name as if it was a prayer, soft and with feeling. He tilted her face up to his and looked at her, his green eyes swimming with un-shown emotions. "I have come to realize I have made a mistake." Ava's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I should have never left you alone. I should have never left Necarrii. I ran off for my own foolish reasons and I must apologize." His eyes became sad. "And then I return only to find, I might have quite possibly lost you last night."

"But you didn't." Ava smiled up at him.

"Yes true as that is," he reached into his satchel and took something out. Ava tried to catch a glimpse of what it might be but she failed, his hands clasping it tightly away from her view. "Meeting you was the most important thing that has ever happened to me." Fenris spoke down looking to his hand as if he could see the item that he held so tightly. " You gave me a beautiful daughter, and a reason to fight."

Looking up at her, he raised the hand that held hers. Opening his hand, he revealed to her a beautiful silver ring. Ava gasped at the sight of it; her eyes wandered over it, examining each detail. Markings were etched in to it, flowing around its entirety, a Green stone, the color of both his and Necarrii's, stood brightly in the middle. Ava shot her head up as the meaning of this settled within her.

"I can't bear the thought of living without you and I never want to." Fenris slipped the ring on to her left ring finger as tears of joy began to pour from her eyes. She watched as he took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on the ring.

Ava couldn't help herself. She flung her arms around him, pulling him down for a deep passionate kiss. She would have never expected such a commitment from this man. She had never even expected to fall for him as badly as she had. But she was glad she did. Once again in her eyes the Maker had a great sense of humor.

She pulled away from him, both of them still smiling. "I suppose I may take that as a yes?" Fenris asked as he brushed the hair away from her face.

"Mama?" the both turned, releasing each other, to find Necarrii standing at the foot of the stairs. Her face was tear-stricken as she took in the scene in front of her. "I can't find papa." Her daughter hiccupped and began sobbing again. Ava felt her heart beat quicken as she left Fenris's arms to go and hold her daughter.

How was she supposed to tell her what became of the man she had none to be her father? She was barely three. Ava laid her head down as she continued to cry.

"Where is he mama?" she asked as her cries died down. She lifted her head from Ava's shoulder and stared. Ava struggled for the words. "He had to leave, sweetling." Her heart filled with guilt.

"But why, Mama?" she rubbed her redden eyes. Ava sighed and turned to Fenris. The elf walked up to them, his facing sad as he took his daughter from his Fiancé's hands.

"Your father has died, child." Fenris spoke the words softly and he could see the confusion that she had. "Is he coming back?" She spoke the words so quietly Ava had barley heard from where she stood behind them.

She saw Fenris shake his head. "No he's not."

Necarrii backed away from Fenris, his words causing her to harden. "No." Was all she said. She ran to Ava, latching herself on to her mother's skirts. Ava felt the tears threaten to fall from her own eyes. Squatting down, she took her arms in her hands. Necarrii leaned into her embrace, her tears soaking in to Ava's robes. Threading her arms around her, Ava held her daughter as they both began to cry, her heart breaking over what they both had lost; and good friend and a father.

* * *

Ava felt the ring on her left finger cut into her skin as she quickly grabbed her stave and began her attack on the Templars. She swung the blade up making contact with the arm of the closest Templar just as her flame spell shot off to her left. Three of them fell to her, but more quickly too their spots. There had to be over a dozen of them, more than what she was capable of handling on her own. But still she kept her attack going, freezing those who came to close cutting them down as fast as she could. But she could only move so fast and could only spare so much. She felt her mana draining, quickly but still she continued to fight.

"_You gave me something to fight for." _His words echoed in her head and her mind flashed back to her daughter in the other room. She had something to fight for. And that just gave her more power to continue her struggle. Six Templars had fallen as more entered the broken tavern. She made her move, preparing to attack them all at once with her lightening fall but something froze her movements. Stave raised and spell on lips, her eyes darted to the corner just as the Templar archer took his aim at the tiny figure that had wandered out in to the battle. Dropping her hands and stave she ran as the Templar sent his arrow flying… heading straight for Necarrii.

**A/N I hope you guys like this. And I hope just like me you are mourning the death of Anders from awakening. I like him so much better in that DLC. Anyway. The next chapter may be the last and I would like to thank you all for the support you have shown me through this story and I hope you all check out my others fics. I am also looking for some nice prompts for DA And Mass Effect so any ideas please send them in! R&R 3**


	35. Chapter 35

Denial chapter 35

Necarrii froze as she saw her mother fling toward her. She could feel the fear in her heart pumping as the effects of adrenaline kicked in. and yet all she could do is close her eyes. She closed her eyes and waited. Waited to see what would happen, what she would feel. Waited to see if she was finally going to see her father again. But when nothing happened she opened her eyes and gasped. She was back in Kirkwall, standing in the hall by the fire. Everything had looked the same as they had left it and she felt joy rise within her as she realized she could come back home.

"Mama?" she called out as she moved away from the hot flames. Surely her mother had to be here. She wouldn't just leave her alone.

"Mama?" she called out again as she turned to go up the stairs.

She had just risen one foot when his voice stopped her. "She's not here." She turned around and she couldn't help the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Papa?" she lowered her foot and took a hesitant step toward the man who looked so much like her father.

He smiled and held out his hands, squatting down to catch her. She ran to him with open arms, clasping tightly to his neck as the tears fell. "He said you were dead." She spoke in to his chest. "The man said you weren't coming back."

Anders released his daughter from his embrace; he took her hand and ran his fingers over it. "I am always with you. You may not see me, but I'm always there."

"Do I get to stay with you, Daddy?" Necarrii asked whipping the tears from her face.

Anders gave her a small sad smile. "I'm afraid not."

"But-" Anders held up a finger to her lips halting her words; a sob escaped her mouth instead.

"No buts. You have to stay with your mum."

"But I miss you."

Anders caressed his daughter's hair and brought her head down to his lips. "I miss you too, sweetie. But you can't stay here." She stayed looking down at the floor. Her tears fell in front of her, staining the ground. "Hey," He reached under her chin and brought her face up to his. "I need you to do me a favor." He poked her side and was rewarded by a small smile. She nodded happily. "Fenris, The man who is looking for you…" He paused in his words uncertain of how s=to say what he wanted. "I will always be your father, remember that, ok?"

She nodded on his hand and he leaned in to give her another kiss. "You have to wake up now, ok sweetie?"

His touch began to fade as she closed her eyes under the feeling of his kiss. "Will I see you again, papa?"

She felt the remnants of the magic fade; she could hear the commotion and turmoil set around her. The sounds had almost been overwhelming, but she could still make out the whisper as it left his lips. "Always."

The memorial service seemed right. With everything that had happened in the last month, it only seemed right that the city have such a thing. But still the thought stood uneasy in Ava's mind. Buildings still stood crumbled, bodies still laid off to the side unclaimed or unrecognizable. So many were still lost. But time was of the essence and the city needed to heal and move on. Whether pronounced dead or MIA, their lost would be honored tonight.

She and Sebastian had spent most of the day helping Cullen and what was left of the order set up in Small untouched section of the merchant's guild. Aside from a few fallen stone and some foundation crack, the spot had been surprisingly together considering its proximity to the chantry. The original plan was to have the ceremony in the chantry's court yard but they had been unable to clear enough debris.

So chairs and candles stood in the area as well as a small podium for those who wish to speak. Ava felt her heart clench as she realized she would be one of those people. As there was no Viscount present political responsibility seems to have fallen to her shoulders. She feared what the news of her new power would have on the rest of Thedas. A mage ruling a city that had fallen to her kind? She felt as if conflict was just waiting to arise. But she dealt with it just as she would anything else. Slowly and with caution.

"I believe we are all set." Sebastian came up to her as she lit the last candle. She gave him a smile. "Shall we go and collect the others?"

With a sigh she shrugged. "Now is a good a time as any I suppose." She placed the matches on the podium and turned to exit with Sebastian.

"We'll be right back, Knight-commander." Cullen gave a nervous smile as the two walked by him and headed up toward the estate. Ava remembered how reluctant he was to accept the title but she had naturally coerced him in to it. She couldn't think of any Templar better suited for the job and to have an outsider take control made her feel paranoid.

"Sebastian, what do you suppose will happen?" she looked up into the sky and stared at the stars. Each one glowed bright and the color reminded her of the tattoos both Fenris and Necarrii shared.

"What do you mean?" the archer cocked a confused eyebrow her way.

"Sure you know this is only the beginning." She turned his gaze on him, her eyes set and serious. "There is going to be war." She spoke her words softly realizing the truth that ran through them

Sebastian's face hardened. No doubt his friend was right. This would be only the beginning. "You may be right." He said walking in pace with her. "But you are not alone."

The memorial ran on through the night as the last person rose to stand before the podium. Ava felt her body shaking as she took the stand, all eyes focused on her.

Taking a deep breathe she began to speak. "We have all suffered a great lost. Brothers and sisters. Children and Parents. None of us have gone untouched." She paused and gazed out to the crowed. "But we cannot let it break us." She turned to her friends and family sitting in the front row. Menrin and Necarrii sitting closely between Carver and Fenris. "If not for ourselves, then for those who come after us. For those who hear of us. Let them not speak that Kirkwall was the first to fall. Let them say Kirkwall was the first to stand!"

She heard a few cheers from the crowd. "We are not siding with the mages and nor are we with Templars, we are siding with what is right and what needs to be done!" more people cheered.

"Andraste would not have us wallow, while those we mourn are by The Maker's side. So remember who we lost on that day, remember who they were and what they wanted to be. And by doing that you live for them and show the rest of Thedas how strong we can be!" Ava finished her speech just as the first person rose and began to clap. Soon after everyone else followed, clapping and cheering for her words.

"My, my" the cheer died as the sound of armor turned the corner. "Very powerful words for a very powerful person. The man was dressed in dark reddish armor, a bright sun deeply engraved on his breast plate.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Sebastian rose from his seat and turned to face the visitors. "Can you not see we are in the process of mourning?"

"Champion. Ava Hawke. By the right of the Divine, Justina, I hereby place you under arrest. Please come with us." Ava felt her eyes widen slightly. The others had risen already, weapons out.

"Mama!" Necarrii broke off from Merril and ran to Ava, latching herself on to her robes.

"On what charges?" Carver asked squeezing the grip of his sword.

"The circle has fallen and the city is now ruled by an apostate."

"You've known all along what she was!" Aveline screamed.

"Come with us now or meet our blades." The seeker removed his sword.

"enough!" Ava shouted from her stand. Bending she took Necarrii into her arms. "DO you remember the game we used to play?"

Necarrii nodded into her shoulder. "I need you to go home and play ok? I'll be right behind you."

Necarrii looked up at her with sad eyes. "Are you leaving like papa?" she asked her voice as soft as a whisper.

Ava choked back a sob as the tears began to fall. "No sweetie. I promise." She held up her pinky and Necarrii latched on smiling. Giving her daughter on more kiss, she sent her off to Merrill. She gave her sister a quick nod, before the elf moved away with both children.

"If you want me, you can have me," Ava walked up slowly, the crowd parting as she did so. Wide eyes followed her steps as she made her way to the seekers. The one who led them grinned. "That was easier then I –"he didn't notice the tilt of Ava's head as the arrow launched itself into his skin. He dropped to the floor as the blood began to squirt out. Everyone moved quickly, Ava casted a stunning blast knocking the other seekers off their feet as civilians ran by to get away from the battle. She backed up into her friends, all of them falling in a tight group as more soldiers flocked into the area.

"Any plans, Hawke?" Varric asked as he loaded a bolt into Bianca. Ava's eyes darted to the enemies around her. They were severely out numbered.

"Ummmm…" Plans escaped her. There was no way they would all make it out of this alive. She had to leave. She couldn't risk their lives just so she could live another day to run. They had already done so much for her.

"Whatever happens guys," Ava removed her stave and let her magic fill her veins. Closing her eyes she imagined what she had been like the days she had almost lost it. That one day so many years ago. Fenris had helped her that day. She remembered it so clearly now. "Thank you." she opened her eyes and felt the fire that burned within them summoning her fireball; she raised the energy sending it hurtling toward the closest of the soldiers. They fell to the ground, toasted, the smell of burnt metal reaching her nose. She turned quickly bringing her blade tip up as she sent another freeze spell toward the seeker on her left. She sidestepped as the one brought down by her blade fell beside her. Turning she saw Fenris running toward her. She ducked as his blade slashed where her head had been moments ago, cutting into the arm of another soldier. His sword fell as he did clutching his wound.

"What are you doing?!" Fenris growled as she regained her stance and began firing spells once again.

Turing quickly she grabbed his collar and brought his lips down upon hers. The battle seemed to stop when she gave him this kiss and the only thing that seemed to have brought her back was Carver's screams.

"OI!" her brother shouted as he blocked a parry from his foe. Bella came quickly behind the soldier, stabbing into the weak part of his armor.

Ava spared them a glance before turning back to Fenris. "Goodbye."

"NECARRII!" Ava slammed the door open, gasping for breath as she ran to the staircase and bolted up.

The girl opened the room door with her satchel toed tightly to her back.

"Are we going to play now, mama?" she asked a certain look of disappointment on her face.

"Yes dear, let me just get my stuff." She moved past Necarrii and yanked open her wardrobe. She grabbed the sack that stood on its bottom and turned back around quickly, ready to leave. She froze when she saw Merrill standing in the door way.

"Where are you going?" her friend spoke with worry and curiosity, two things which Ava had always been a sucker for in the past but not this time.

"I am sorry, sister, I can't tell you." she moved forward and grabbed Necarrii by the hand.

"Oh dear, But-"

"Merrill!" Ava turned on her with urgency. "You saw them! I am not the only one in danger and I will not have you all harmed just to see to my protection!"

"Hawke, you don't have to-"

"Stop!" Ava felt her eyes glow as Merrill shrank back in fear.

"I'm sorry…" she let her head hang low as tears threatened her eyes. "I just can't." she looked back up to her, her face full of fear.

"Fine then." Ava smiled and moved to the door. "Are you ready?" she asked Necarrii. The child nodded.

Ava reached for the door, but jumped back when the door pounded. "Champion!" the seekers pounded into the door. Ava backed up scared. She was trapped. Trapped in her own house doomed to fall to these men.

"Get to the basement." Merrill grabbed her and dragged her across the room. "Go, you haven't the time." The elf grabbed her stave as a sword breaking through the wood became audible.

Ava yanked open the door and pushed Necarrii in. quickly she leaned in a planted a kiss on Merrill's cheek.

"Take care of them, sister." Ava shut the door behind her as Merrill turned and faced the group that had just entered the house. The tiny elf let a sadistic smile spread across her face as the first man walked into view. "With pleasure."

**A/N ok so I had a lot of trouble with this chapter and I think it came out better than what I had original thought which I can't even remember now XD anyway, I like the way the speech came out I guess idk I know I definitely like the Idea of Merrill being a bad ass lol I'm sorry I just think she's to clueless not to be anyway please let me know what you guys think and the last chapter with come next week. Thank you all for reading! If you want to read more of my stories I have another dragon age one called sun and moon and also a mass effect one called the night before so please check them out! Thanks for the love!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N and so my tale comes to an end. Not bad for the first full length fan fiction I wrote. I hope that all of you will continue to read my stories and I hope to hear from you all again soon. But for now I hope you enjoy my ending.**

Denial chapter 36

"The word of slaughter spread quickly." Varric spoke his words carefully. "The champions name became a rallying cry. She had defended the people against a battle that was not their own and many have lived to tell the tale." He looked out the empty manor into the sunset. Kirkwall stood tall and proud against the skyline. The year had past. "The circles rose up and set fire to the world. And with that, a new legend had been born." He looked back to the seeker before him. Her short hair falling over her eyes as she held the book in her hand, thinking.

"Then Meredith provoked the circle. She was to blame."

"Or it was that damned idol," Varric straightened up in his chair and shrugged. "Or Anders. Take your pick."

"Even so," she tucked the book to her side. "Had the champion not been here…" her words trailed off with the thought.

"It might not have even gotten that far."

The seeker nodded at Varric's words. "I see."

Varric moved again this time resting his head against his hand as he eyed the seeker. "So tell me, how is having all this going to help you? You've already lost all the circles." The war was just beginning and Varric new this. What he didn't know was how Hawke could help. "In fact haven't the Templars rebelled as well? I thought you decided to abandon the chantry to hunt the mages. "

The seeker gave him a sad, pleading look. "Not all of us desire war Varric. Please if you know where she is, you must tell me. She's a hero the people will look up to."

Varric's eyes widen slightly but to his credit he should no surprise. "That's what this is about." he sighed. "If that is the case then I wish I could help you."

* * *

Ava grabbed Necarrii as the arrow soared to them. Turning her body, she felt the arrow graze her arm as she put up the shield around them both.

"MAMA! What's going on?!" her daughter wiped her head to either side of them, her eyes growing as the Templars closed in.

"Look at me sweetie." Ava gently shook her daughter's body but she didn't obey. "Look at me!" Necarrii gave a startling gasp before turning to her mother with her fear-filled eyes. "When I say go I want you to run,"

"NO!" her daughter screamed and latched on to her as the Templars began slashing away at her barrier.

"You have to sweetie. I can hold them off."

"You're going to leave me?" Necarrii let out a sob as she fell into her mother's embrace again. Ava held her, hugged her tightly as the barrier began to shimmer. "On three." She cupped her face and brought it gently to her lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too, mama." Ava stood up, tears glistening as she prepared her stave.

"One." She remembered when she had first met Fenris. The night in the mansion after he had accused her of seeking power.

"Two." She remembered their first kiss. The passion that it held. The love. She remembered when Necarrii was born. The look on his face before he had come to realize what she possessed.

"Three." The barrier came down and Necarrii ran back down the hall as Ava sent a freeze spell, trapping the first four Templars. She moved past them quickly, twirling her stave as she did. Her blade slashed the Templar on the right. He fell, blood pouring from his underarm as she moved to block the attack on her left. Using all her strength, she flung her stave and sent the Templar staggering back as the stone fist left her hand.

Two more were on her in that moment. She blocked each of their attacks in turn as her mind began to work out an escape. Quickly she brought her stave down to the ground hard and sent a ripple of earthquakes through the room. The men and woman staggered and fell under her spell. She smiled at the scene, taking in some satisfaction at her plan.

That's when she heard it. The sound of the sword swinging down upon her. She could feel the wind from the blade on her right as she tried to move out of the way. But she knew it was useless. His shadow fell upon him as she sent another round of electricity through the air, shocking those who have managed to rise. And just as quickly as she had seen the shadow, it had disappeared.

She spun as she heard the thud of the body falling. She spotted the silhouette standing in the back door, arrow knocked. But she did not dwell. She moved from his view and began attacking more of the Templars, as he began picking them off with his bow. There were still over a dozen more. And even with the extra help that the man provided, there was no way-

The door to the tavern swung open, and Ava immediately feared the coming of more Templars. But when she heard the clanging of swords on metal, she thanked the Maker for whoever saw fit to help her. She did not try to see who had come to her aid. Her only thought was disposing of the threat.

When the last Templar fell to her fire, she replaced her stave and turned to the man at the door way.

"Thank you for your assistance."

The man's laughter filled her ears and she felt herself freeze in place. Slowly he stepped further into the tavern, away from the sun's rays. "It would not be the first time."

Ava couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as Sebastian came into her view.

"And here I thought you would be more careful, sister." She turned to see carver, re-sheathing his sword and grinning brightly at her. Holding back a sob, she ran into her brother's arms.

"Maker how I've missed you!" she held to his neck tightly. "I am so sorry."

"And you should be." Ava moved away from carver's embrace and looked to Fenris. A scowl plastered his facial features as he stalked up to her and grabbed her by the waist. He wasted no time on words, pulling her into a kiss that had rivaled all the others. She fell into it quickly, threading her fingers through his hair, bringing his body closer.

"I told you," he said as he pulled away and rested his head upon hers. "I will not live without you."

Ava held on to her lover and smiled. "How did you even find us?" she whispered the words to him, her breath caught as all her emotions overflowed. They had found them.

Carver laughed at her question. "You, sister, are not as well hidden as you should have been."

Ava turned to her brother with a small amount of guilt on her face. It was true. When she had left Kirkwall that night she had made it her mission to hide every single detail that could possibly lead the seekers and the Templars to them. It wasn't until they arrived in Fereldan that she let herself be seen. She had hoped someone from Kirkwall would hear.

"Mama?" Ava turned smiling to the corner where Necarrii peered out from the hall. "Is it safe?" Ava smiled as she removed herself from Fenris's grasp. "Yes, dear. It is safe." Necarrii ran to her, hugging on to her leg. "I thought you were leaving me." Ava took her hand and bent down to her height.

She cupped her daughter's face with one hand as the others moved to surround them. "Never." Carver said as she looked up and smiled at him. Sebastian nodded in agreement.

"You will never be alone." Looking past her mother, Necarrii saw the strange man not far behind them. He looked at them both and Ava could see the relief in his face as well as a symphony of other emotions. Ava turned back to her daughter who stood watching her father. She remembered the last time Necarrii had spoken to him. It was the night after the attack on the chantry. The night she had been told Anders was dead.

Right now watching her, Ava felt something in the air stir, but just as quickly it was gone.

"Perhaps we should move on before more Templars arrive." Sebastian took his last arrow out of the first Templar he shot. Wiping it off with a cloth, he placed it back in his quiver.

"Yes, we should." Ava bent down again and looked Necarrii in the eye. "Are you ready to go?"

The young girl nodded and Ava took her hand. She was glad to be going back with her family and friends. The last year had been hard without them. It would be a welcome-

"Necarrii!" Ava thoughts halted as Necarrii released her hand before they even mad it to the door. All of them turned around as Necarrii ran up to Fenris behind them. Stopping in front of him, she hesitated only a second before slipping her hand into his. "Thank you." was all she said before leading him to join Ava and the others.

**A/N crappy ending **** gosh I was so completely lost with this one. I hope its satisfactory. Well I would like to thank you all for the support you have given me. All the reviews and favorites for this story has helped me to make others and I hope some of you will read them **** also I will be making a sequel to this story called LET LOVE BE. I will post up the first chapter this weekend and I hope you all tune in a least once. Necarrii will be the main character and so far i like my plans with it. Again thank you for all the love and let me know if you want any back! 333**


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